Eclectic Randomness

Here they are - every quote worth knowing and a few extra. if someone tells you a quote that is not on this list, it is really not a quote, or at least a good quote, and nobody ever did say it:

Douglas Adams - In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams - There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Oprah Winfrey - The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.
Oprah Winfrey - There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
Brigham Young - He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.
- A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
- A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.
- A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal. "I would like to give you this personality test", said the outsider, "because I want you to be happy." Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster : "I wish the toaster to be happy too"
- A friend is someone you call to help you move. A best friend is someone you call to help you move... a body.
- A friend of mine is a Paranoid Dyslexic... he is afraid he is following people.
H.L. Mencken - The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
- A lock is better than suspicion.
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Ralph Waldo Emerson - Every burned book enlightens the world.
Ralph Waldo Emerson - Excellence is new forever.
Ralph Waldo Emerson - In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.
- A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey. "It is out on loan," the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable. "But I can hear it bray, over there." "Whom do you believe," asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey?"
- A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
- A picture may be worth a thousand words, but usually consumes the bandwidth of more than two thousand.
- A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
- A real person has two reasons for doing anything...a good reason and the real reason.
- A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
- A Sobering Thought: What if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
- A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.
- According to Snopes.com most money has trace amounts of cocaine on it. Maybe money can make you happy after all.
- Actor: "I'm a smash hit. Why, yesterday during the last act, I had everyone glued in their seats!" Oliver Herford: "Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!"
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- All perfect marriages are made up of couples who accept the fact that they have an imperfect marriage.
- Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
- Always convice those whom you are about to deceive that you are acting in their best interests.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer should be replaced by a computer.
- Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is probably parked.
- Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
- Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
- Armadillo: to provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
- As you know, Joel, children have always looked up to cowboys as role models. And vice versa.
- Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls...if thou art in the bathtub, it tolls for thee.
- Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
- Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.
- Behold the warranty...the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
- Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
- Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Boy hands report to parents. Look this over and see if I can sue for defamation of character.
- Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
- Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
- Chuck Norris can Divide by Zero
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a night light because he is afraid of the dark, He sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
- Cleanliness is next to impossible.
- Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
- Coach: "How's about a beer, Norm?" Norm: "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!
- Cocaine: the thinking man's Dristan.
- Competitive Compassion: Trying to outdo others in charitable acts.
- Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
- Could you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
- Courtship: Is like looking at the beautiful photos in a seed catalog. Marriage: Is what actually comes up in your garden.
- Critic: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
- Dain bramaged.
- Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
- Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
- Department of Redundancy Department.
- Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?
- Did you know, 50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie. . " 'till you can find a rock
- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but do it better, do it harder, do it faster, and do it sooner.
- Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
- Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
- Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
- Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
- Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are.
- Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
- For people who like piece and quiet . . . a phoneless cord!
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will realize why some people think golf is exciting.
- God said, 'Let there be vodka!' And He saw that it was good. Then God said, 'Let there be light!' And then He said, 'Whoa -- too much light.'
- Grief Inflation: Three minute silence for the tsunami rather than usual two.
- Happy hour is a nice gesture not a challenge. (Slogans from Dutch Beer Amstel's UK ad campaign)
- Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk?
- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
- He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.
- Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Hello, I'll be your evil influence for the evening.
- Help Wanted: Telepath . . . you know where to apply.
- Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
- Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
- How come wrong numbers are never busy?
- I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I don't perspire. Children trust me. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week. The laws of physics do not apply to me. -- In response to the "Anything else" section on an application form
- I am a serious chocoholic. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate!!!
- I am sorry I offended you -- I should have lied.
- I am the world's greatest authority on my own opinion.
- I don't do drugs anymore because I find I can get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
- I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
- I don't understand why girls who wear wigs, false eyelashes and padded bras always complain that there are no real men anymore
- I had to hit him : he was starting to make sense.
- I have an inferiority complex, but it isn't a very good one.
- I love giving opinions, I've got hundreds.
- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
- I was homeless for a time. Didn't want anyone to know, so I would sleep in front of tickmaster.
- I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- I'd explain it to you, but your head would blow up.
- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counselling.
- If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
- If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to invent it.
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
- If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.
- If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
- If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
- If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed.
- If you give a man a fire, he will be warm for a day, but if you set him on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
- If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.
- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???
- Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?
- It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
- It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it becomes a scavenger hunt.
- It's easy to have a balanced personality. Just forget your troubles as easily as you do your blessings.
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
- It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
- It's so late it's almost early.
- Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
- Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
- Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
- Lie, n.:A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
- Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
- Love at first sight is one of the greatest labor-saving devices the world has ever seen.
- Madness takes aits toll. Please have exact change ready.
- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
- Marriage should be like work, Easy to love at best and best if it is easy to love
- Maybe you can't buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge it.
- Mechanic's slogan: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
- Mental Floss prevents moral decay!
- Micro Credo: Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift.
- Mind intentionally left blank...
- Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
- Never judge a person until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then, when you judge, you'll be a mile away. And you'll have his shoes.
- Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.
- No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.
- Nobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with constructive praise.
- Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
- Not only do I not know the answer, I have no idea what the question is!
- Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
- Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
- One difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet when well oiled.
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.
- One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint.
- One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
- People usually get what's coming to them...unless it's been mailed.
- Please excuse me from work yesterday due to a vision problem. I just couldn't see myself coming to work.
- Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
- Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
- Politics is like coaching a football team. you have to be smart enough to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
- Reality is for people who can't handle science fiction.
- Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
- Remember the world is a big place. Even if you're one in a million, that means 1000 people in China look exactly like you.
- Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get another chance later on.
- Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
- Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser.
- Show me a man who is a good loser and i'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
- Sleep is such a wonderful thing that it's a shame you can't keep awake to enjoy it
- SOFTWARE -- formal evening attire for female computer analysts.
- Some people are so determined to find blissful happiness that they overlook a lifetime of contentment.
- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
- Speak softly but drive a Sherman tank.
- Stress is the basic discomfort created when one's mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that obviously deserves it.
- Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.
- Tact is for people who aren't clever enough to take the p*ss.
- Take time with your beer. The pub is not on fire.
- Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
- The Attorney for the Defense will quit referring the Prosecutor as "Demon Spawn from Hell". -- Judge to [anti-choice] | [pro-life] attorney David Broderick.
- The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
- The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
- The central enemy of reliability is complexity.
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
- The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
- The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!"
- The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
- The funny thing about common sense, it ain't all that common.
- The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
- The Heineken Uncertainty Principle: You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.
- The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?
- The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
- The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda can, when discarded will last forever...and a $7,000 car which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.
- The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
- The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.
- The quality of expectations determines the quality of our action.
- The quest for beauty is a quest for love.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
- The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
- The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do.
- The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.
- There are some people we *want* to offend.
- There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
- There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
- There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
- There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad its not a fence.
- This is National Non-Dairy Creamer Week.
- This is the story of the little bee whose sex is very hard to see. You cannot tell the he from the she but she can tell, and so can he. The busy bee is never still and has no time to take the Pill. And that is why, in times like these, there are so many sons of bees.
- Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
- To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.
- To cure sore eyes, kiss a red-head.
- To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group.
- Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
- Travel is very educational. I can now say Kaopectate in seven different languages.
- Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.
- TV is a Medium, called so because it is neither rare nor well done..
- Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
- Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
- Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
- Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
- Two shorten the road.
- Vice is a monster of such frightful mien, As to be hated is but to be seen. Yet seen too oft, familiar with his face, First we endure, then pity, then embrace.
- Virtue is its own punishment.
- Wanted : Person willing to seal gas leaks with candle. Must be willing to travel.
- Wanted: 30 Chinamen and a zeppelin for elaborate joke. Can you help? Call on 555-1249.
- We have only 2 things to worry about: That things will never get back to normal, and that they already have.
- We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgement.
- We race with our legs not with our beers.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
- What does 'it' mean in the sentence "What time is it?" ?
- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
- What if there were no such thing as a hypothetical situation?
- What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.
- When in doubt, do what the President does -- guess.
- Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what
- Why do you laugh? Change the name, and the story is told of you.
- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
- Women make silly generalisations.
- Woody: "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" Norm: "A little early isn't it, Woody?" Woody: "For a beer?" Norm: "No, for stupid questions."
- X-rated movies are all alike...the only thing they leave to the imagination is the plot.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
- You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
- You ever look up the word dictionary in a dictionary? A little hand comes out and smacks you one.
- You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.
- You know my motto: Forgive and uh... the other thing.
- Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a thing he tells you.
- Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
- Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
"Dirty" Harry Callahan - A man's got to know his limitations.
"Pepsi Comes Alive" = - "Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes."
"The Irish Independent" - The esteemed 20th century American journalist HL Macken opined that there were two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician".
"Would you like to ride on your own ass?" - Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand
?? - 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
?? - Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
?? - And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.
?? - Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
?? - Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
?? - Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
?? - For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
?? - Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
?? - I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
?? - I went into my bank the other day and asked the cashier to check my balance. She pushed me over!
?? - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
?? - It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others.
?? - Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
?? - Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
?? - Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
?? - Overheard in the year 1 A.D.: "Damn! Here it is February and I'm still writing '0' on my cheques."
?? - Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
?? - People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
?? - Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
?? - Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
?? - Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
?? - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
?? - The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
?? - To calculate the circumference of the known universe, you would only have to use 39 decimals of pi and be off by one proton
?? - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
?? - To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
?? - Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
?? - You know it's love when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than dreams.
1 Nephi 3:7 - The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour
2 Samuel 22:3 - I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a Crown of Righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:7 - And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.
3 Nephi 17:5 - Therefore ye must always pray unto the Father in my name; And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you. Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed.
3 Nephi 18:19 - I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A survival tip from the "Worst Case Scenario" calendar - If you are completely buried in an avalanche, dig a small hole around you and spit in it. The saliva will fall dowj, giving you an idea of which direction is up. Dig up.
A. A. Milne - "It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.
A. Einstein - I love to travel, but hate to arrive.
A. Einstein - Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.
A. J. Liebling (1904-1963) - Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
A. J. Liebling, 1960 - There is no way to peace; peace is the way.
A. J. Muste - His ignorance is encyclopedic
A. P. Herbert - An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
Abba Eban (1915-) - Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Abraham Lincoln - Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Abraham Lincoln - Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln - Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.
Abraham Lincoln - Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
Abraham Lincoln - He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Abraham Lincoln - He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
Abraham Lincoln - I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Abraham Lincoln - I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
Abraham Lincoln - If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln - If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln - If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
Abraham Lincoln - It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln - It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
Abraham Lincoln - Let me not be understood as saying that there are no bad laws, nor that grievances may not arise for the redress of which no legal provisions have been made. I mean to say no such thing. But I do mean to say that although bad laws, if they exist, should be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed.
Abraham Lincoln - Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln - Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln - No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.
Abraham Lincoln - No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
Abraham Lincoln - Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln - That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise.
Abraham Lincoln - The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
Abraham Lincoln - Whatever you are, be a good one.
Abraham Lincoln - When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and true maxim that 'a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.' So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one.
Abraham Lincoln - When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
Abraham Lincoln - Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
Abraham Lincoln - You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
Abraham Lincoln - You may deceive all the people part of the time, and part of the people all the time, but not all the people all the time.
Abraham Lincoln, (attributed) - 'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln, (attributed) - When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
Abraham Lincoln, (attributed) - You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
Abraham Lincoln, in a book review - People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.
Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to J. M. Cutts, October 26, 1863 - Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention.
Abraham Lincoln, letter to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, July 18, 1864 - Truth is generally the best vindication against slander.
Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln's Own Stories - Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
Abraham Lincoln, speech in Washington D.C., 1865 - I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863 - But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863 - It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.
Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863 - Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
Adam Murphy - True love is not measured in hugs and kisses, but in struggles and fears, and those who can work though those...they possess true love.
Adam Rixey - I hate that part of the day where i've read all the newsgroups and looked at all the interesting web pages so now it's either just sit here bored or do work.
Adams, John (1735-1826) - I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain. -- Letter to Abigail Adams, May 12, 1780.
Adlai Stevenson - Those who corrupt the public mind are just as evil as those who steal from the public purse.
Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965 - In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965) - "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"
Adolf Hitler - What luck for rulers, that men do not think.
Aelius Donatus - Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.]
Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC), The Seven Against Thebes -- His resolve is not to seem, but to be, the best.
Aesop - Union gives strength. (The Bundle of Sticks 550 BC)
Aex Levine - Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Al Capone - You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Al Capone (1899-1947) - Vote early and vote often.
Al Gore - "How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?" (On Y2K)
Alan and Charlie - "We've done a terrible thing." "Yes, if only there was some magical liquid that could erase bad memories..." in the bar, "Two and a Half Men"
Alan Perlis - Fools ignore complexity; pragmatists suffer it; experts avoid it; geniuses remove it.
- A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
Alan Perlis - It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
Alan Perlis - The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
Alben W. Barkley - The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.
Albert Camus (1913-1960) - Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Albert Einstein - "Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein - Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein - Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein - As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to Reality.
Albert Einstein - Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen
Albert Einstein - Curiosity has its own reason for existence. Never lose a holy curiosity.
Albert Einstein - Degeneracy follows every autocratic system of violence, for violence inevitably attracts moral inferiors. Time has proven that illustrious tyrants are succeeded by scoundrels.
Albert Einstein - Do not worry about your problems in mathematics. I assure you, my problems with mathematics are much greater than yours.
Albert Einstein - Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Albert Einstein - Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment.
Albert Einstein - God does not play dice with the universe.
Albert Einstein - God may be subtle, but He isn't mean.
Albert Einstein - Gravitation can not be held resposible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein - Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
Albert Einstein - Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.
Albert Einstein - He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
Albert Einstein - He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice.
Albert Einstein - I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.
Albert Einstein - I do not believe in the immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern without any superhuman authority behind it.
Albert Einstein - I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein - I feel that you are justified in looking into the future with true assurance, because you have a mode of living in which we find the joy of life and the joy of work harmoniously combined. Added to this is the spirit of ambition which pervades your very be.
Albert Einstein - I have little patience with scientists who take a board of wood look for its thinnest part and drill a great number of holes where drilling is easiest.
Albert Einstein - I never think of the future -- it comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein - I want to know the thoughts of God. Everything else is just details.
Albert Einstein - If only I had known, I would have been a locksmith.
Albert Einstein - Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
Albert Einstein - It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Albert Einstein - It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Albert Einstein - Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Albert Einstein - Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Albert Einstein - Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
Albert Einstein - People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion
Albert Einstein - Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein - Science is a refinement of everyday thinking.
Albert Einstein - Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein - The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Albert Einstein - The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.
Albert Einstein - The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unhappy but hardly fit for life.
Albert Einstein - The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Albert Einstein - There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein - Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
Albert Einstein - We cannot dispair of humanity, since we are ourselves human beings.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) - To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.
Albert Giacometti (sculptor) - Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Albert Schweitzer - "Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight."
Albert Szent-Gyorgyi - "Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different."
Albert von Szent-Gyorgy - Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
Aldous Huxley - Most of one's life is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) - Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Aleister Crowley - The pious pretense that evil does not exist only makes it vague, enormous and menacing. (The Confessions of Aleister Crowley, 1929)
Alexander Graham Bell - When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Alexander Haig - "The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood."
ALEXANDER HAMILTON - Men often oppose a thing merely because they have had no agency in planning it, or because it may have been planned by those whom they dislike.
ALEXANDER HAMILTON - The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased. Men often oppose a thing merely because they have had no agency in planning it, or because it may have been planned by those whom they dislike.
Alexander Penney - The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
Alexander Pope - Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Alexander Smith - Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.
Alexander Woollcott - Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
Alexander Woollcut - All the things I like doing are immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexandra Stoddard - The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul.
Alfred Adler - The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
Alfred C. McClure - The purpose of prayer is not to get answers, things or anything -- not even holiness. Valuable though they are, all of those are side effects. The purpose of prayer is to get acquainted with God. Anything else is a bonus.
Alfred Hitchcock - We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.
Alfred North Whitehead - It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson - 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.
Algren's Law - Never play poker with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth - "Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle."
Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) - If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Allan K. Chalmers - The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Ally McBeal - What are all these things that just spew out of your head? Could you at least use your brain as a filter?!
Ambrose Bierce - Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce - Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
Ambrose Bierce - I think; therefore, I think I am.
Ambrose Bierce - MAIDEN, n. A young person of the unfair sex. The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though beaten out of the field by the canary -- which, also, is more portable.
Ambrose Bierce - Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all two.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - Pray, n:. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - The covers of this book are too far apart.
Anais Nin (1903-1977) - How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anas Nin, The Diaries of Anas Nin - "Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."
Anatole France - The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever.
Anatole France (1844 - 1924) -- The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
Andr Malraux, The Voices of Silence - "And when man faces destiny, destiny ends and man comes into his own."
Andre Maurois (French writer) - "The value of the average conversation could be enormously improved by the constant use of four simple words: "I do not know."
Andrew Marvell (1621-1678) - But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Andrew Plotkin - I believe there's something in the Bible about 'Thou shalt not call anyone insane who owns and is competent with more firearms than you own sharp sticks.'
Andrew Plotkin - It's like looking into the face of death, only it's Gilligan.
Andrew Plotkin - It's not virtual reality until you can be tortured to death in it.
Andrew W. Mathis - It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Andy Rooney - "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
Andy Warhol - I am a deeply superficial person.
Anita Loos - I'm furious about the Women's Liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.
Anita Weiss - I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.
Ann Landers - The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.
Anna Louise Strong - "To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."
Anne Bradstreet - If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
Anne Frank - "I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart."
Anne Frank - Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh - A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people in the midst of life achieve it.
Annon - "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
Anon - 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Anon - A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested.
Annon - An engineer is a man who can do for a dime what any fool can do for a dollar.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Annon - Diplomacy -- the art of letting someone have your way.
Anon - God is real, unless declared an integer.
Anon - I finally figured out why elves dress so funny... they're single guys who've never had a wife.
Anon - If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them.
Anon - Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that everybody is not out to get me.
Anon - The most terrible thing about death is that a life-time's reading is laid to waste.
Anon - There are several proof techniques: proof by abundant notation, proof by intimidation, ...
Dan Quayle - "We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
Anon - There are two kinds of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Anon - Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music...
Anon - To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
Anon - If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
Anon - Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur (anything said in Latin sounds profound).
Anon - There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Anonymous - Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Anonymous - Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
Anonymous screen test - Fred Astaire: "Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little."
Anthony Robbins - The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
Antoine de Saint Exupery - Love does not consist of gazing at one another, but in looking outward in the same direction. (Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939)
Antoine de Saint Exupery - Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery - Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
Anton Chekhov - "If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry."
Anton Chekhov - A fiance is neither this nor that: he's left one shore, but not yet reached the other.
Anton Chekhov - A good upbringing means not that you won't spill sauce on the tablecloth, but that you won't notice it when someone else does.
Anton Chekhov - A writer is not a confectioner, a cosmetic dealer, or an entertainer.
Anton Chekhov - Advertising is the very essence of democracy.
Anton Chekhov - All of life and human relations have become so incomprehensibly complex that, when you think about it, it becomes terrifying and your heart stands still.
Anton Chekhov - Any idiot can face a crisis -- it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov - Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov - Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov - Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov - Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
Anton Chekhov - Faith is an aptitude of the spirit. It is, in fact, a talent: you must be born with it.
Anton Chekhov - How unbearable at times are people who are happy, people for whom everything works out.
Anton Chekhov - I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky.
Anton Chekhov - If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
Anton Chekhov - If you cry "Forward" you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?
Anton Chekhov - If you cry 'forward', you must without fail make plain in what direction to go.
Anton Chekhov - It's easier to write about Socrates than about a young woman or a cook.
Anton Chekhov - Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.
Anton Chekhov - Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.
Anton Chekhov - Life does not agree with philosophy: There is no happiness that is not idleness, and only what is useless is pleasurable.
Anton Chekhov - Love, friendship and respect do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something.
Anton Chekhov - Man is what he believes.
Anton Chekhov - Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.
Anton Chekhov - Money, like vodka, turns a person into an eccentric.
Anton Chekhov - No matter how corrupt and unjust a convict may be, he loves fairness more than anything else. If the people placed over him are unfair, from year to year he lapses into an embittered state characterized by an extreme lack of faith.
Anton Chekhov - No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.
Anton Chekhov - One must be a god to be able to tell successes from failures without making a mistake.
Anton Chekhov - Only entropy comes easy.
Anton Chekhov - People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
Anton Chekhov - People who lead a lonely existence always have something on their minds that they are eager to talk about.
Anton Chekhov - Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.
Anton Chekhov - The more refined one is, the more unhappy.
Anton Chekhov - The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too.
Anton Chekhov - The sea has neither meaning nor pity.
Anton Chekhov - The thirst for powerful sensations takes the upper hand both over fear and over compassion for the grief of others.
Anton Chekhov - The University brings out all abilities, including incapability.
Anton Chekhov - The wealthy are always surrounded by hangers-on; science and art are as well.
Anton Chekhov - The world perishes not from bandits and fires, but from hatred, hostility, and all these petty squabbles.
Anton Chekhov - There is nothing new in art except talent.
Anton Chekhov - To advise is not to compel.
Anton Chekhov - To judge between good or bad, between successful and unsuccessful would take the eye of a God.
Anton Chekhov - We learn about life not from plusses alone, but from minuses as well.
Anton Chekhov - We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
Anton Chekhov - When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it can't be cured.
Anton Chekhov - When a woman isn't beautiful, people always say, 'You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair.'
Anton Chekhov - When an actor has money he doesn't send letters, he sends telegrams.
Anton Chekhov - When you're thirsty and it seems that you could drink the entire ocean that's faith; when you start to drink and finish only a glass or two that's science.
Anton Chekhov - You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible.
Anton Szandor LaVey - EVIL is LIVE spelled backwards.
Apocalypse now - I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Arabian Proverb - All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.
Aristotle - A flatterer is a friend who is your inferior, or pretends to be so.
Aristotle - A friend is a second self.
Aristotle - A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
Aristotle - A state is not a mere society, having a common place, established for the prevention of mutual crime and for the sake of exchange...Political society exists for the sake of noble actions, and not of mere companionship.
Aristotle - A whole is that which has beginning, middle and end.
Aristotle - Again, men in general desire the good, and not merely what their fathers had.
Aristotle - All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.
Aristotle - All men by nature desire knowledge.
Aristotle - All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
Aristotle - All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
Aristotle - Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.
Aristotle - Education is the best provision for old age.
Aristotle - Education is the best provision for the journey to old age.
Aristotle - Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered.
Aristotle - Evil draws men together.
Aristotle - For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.
Alan Bennett - I'm all in favour of free expression provided it's kept rigidly under control.
Alan Bennett - They are the most embarrassed people in this world, the English.
Alan Kay - The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Aristotle - Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle - He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
Aristotle - I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.
Aristotle - I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
Aristotle - I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.
Aristotle - If liberty and equality, as is thought by some are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in the government to the utmost.
Aristotle - In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.
Aristotle - In the arena of human life the honours and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities.
Aristotle - It is in justice that the ordering of society is centered.
Aristotle - It is just that we should be grateful, not only to those with whose views we may agree, but also to those who have expressed more superficial views; for these also contributed something, by developing before us the powers of thought.
Aristotle - It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.
Aristotle - It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.
Aristotle - It is simplicity that makes the uneducated more effective than the educated when addressing popular audiences.
Aristotle - It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle - It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.
Aristotle - Law is mind without reason.
Aristotle - Law is order, and good law is good order.
Aristotle - Liars when they speak the truth are not believed.
Aristotle - Man is by nature a political animal.
Aristotle - Man perfected by society is the best of all animals; he is the most terrible of all when he lives without law, and without justice.
Aristotle - Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.
Aristotle - Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.
Aristotle - Nature does nothing uselessly.
Aristotle - One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day; similarly one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.
Aristotle - One swallow does not make a summer.
Aristotle - Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends.
Aristotle - Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
Aristotle - Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.
Aristotle - That in the soul which is called the mind is, before it thinks, not actually any real thing.
Aristotle - The basis of a democratic state is liberty.
Aristotle - The best political community is formed by citizens of the middle class.
Aristotle - The gods too are fond of a joke.
Aristotle - The moral virtues, then, are produced in us neither by nature nor against nature. Nature, indeed, prepares in us the ground for their reception, but their complete formation is the product of habit.
Aristotle - The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law.
Aristotle - They should rule who are able to rule best.
Aristotle - Time crumbles things; everything grows old under the power of Time and is forgotten through the lapse of Time.
Aristotle - To be conscious that we are perceiving or thinking is to be conscious of our own existence.
Aristotle - To enjoy the things we ought and to hate the things we ought has the greatest bearing on excellence of character.
Aristotle - To give a satisfactory decision as to the truth it is necessary to be rather an arbitrator than a party to the dispute.
Aristotle - To perceive is to suffer.
Aristotle - We are what we repeatedly do.
Aristotle - We make war that we may live in peace.
Aristotle - We must as second best...take the least of the evils.
Aristotle - What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle - With regard to excellence, it is not enough to know, but we must try to have and use it.
Aristotle - Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) - It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) - Wit is educated insolence.
Aristotle (quoting a proverb) - Well begun is half done.
Aristotle Onassis - If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975) - The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Aristotle, (attributed) - Evil brings men together.
Aristotle, 'Nicomachean Ethics' - Young people are in a condition like permanent intoxication, because youth is sweet and they are growing.
Arnold Bax - Johann Sebastian Bach: "All Bach's last movements are like the running of a sewing machine."
Arnold Glasgow - Make your life a mission-not an intermission.
Arnold H. Glasgow - Nothing splendid was ever created in cold blood. Heat is required to forge anything. Every great accomplishment is the story of a flaming heart.
Art Buchwald - I worship the quicksand he walks in.
Art Linkletter - In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at discotheques.
Arthur C. Clarke - "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
Arthur Hoppe - It is more fun contemplating somebody else's navel than your own.
Arthur Kroker - Shopping malls are liquid TVs for the end of the twentieth century. A whole micro-circuitry of desire, ideology and expenditure for processed bodies drifting through the cyber-space of ultracapitalism.
Arthur Schopenhauer - "Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality."
Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) - All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) - "Assassins!" -- to his orchestra
Ashleigh Brilliant - All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
Ashleigh Brilliant - All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.
Ashleigh Brilliant - All people are different. That’s why everybody should be treated the same.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.
Ashleigh Brilliant - As long as I have you there is just one other thing I’ll always need — tremendous self control.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Beware! I’m acting under the influence of human nature.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Cheer up! The worst effects of what we’re doing won’t be felt until after we’re all dead
Ashleigh Brilliant - Cling to your insecurity, in this world, it’s the only thing you can be sure of.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Don’t be afraid, I’m right behind you (using you as a shield).
Ashleigh Brilliant - Don’t let yourself suffer needlessly, find a need to suffer.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Dragons love you. You’re crunchy and good with ketchup.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Even if you’re not enjoying the flight, it’s futile to threaten to get out and walk.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Even when I’m happy and successful, life still goes on.
Ashleigh Brilliant - For me, it’s always easy to choose between the Ultimate, the Infinite, and the Chocolate.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Fortunately in my work there’s always a choice: I can choose to do it willingly or unwillingly.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Good ideas are common -- what’s uncommon are people who’ll work hard enough to bring them about.
Ashleigh Brilliant - He was tried in absentia, and hanged in effigy, but I can’t find either of them on the map.
Ashleigh Brilliant - How can I be sure I’ve succeeded, if I can’t remember what I was trying to do.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I always like to know what I’m doing, but there are times when nobody will tell me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I can no longer face life, so I’ve decided to go through the rest of it backwards.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I could do great things, if I weren’t so busy doing little things.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I didn’t mind being a public executioner, once I got the hang of it.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I don’t know how to be happy -- They didn’t teach it in my school.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I don’t need a great deal of love but I do need a steady supply.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me. What else do we have in common?
Ashleigh Brilliant - I feel much better, now that I’ve given up hope.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I have just discovered the truth, and can’t understand why everybody isn’t eager to hear it.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I have many unrecognised talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I have nothing definite to apologize for, I’m just sorry about everything in general.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I march to a different drummer, whose location, identity, and musical training haven’t yet been established.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I never miss reality when I’m not in it, but it’s sometimes nice to come back to.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I recently had my problems on the run, but now they’ve re-grouped, and are making another attack.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I was unemployed for a long time, but I couldn’t adjust to the hours.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’ll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’m going to spend the rest of my life in the future, and possibly even longer.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’m in search of myself -- have you seen me anywhere?
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’m just moving clouds today, tomorrow I’ll try mountains.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’m not always depressed: only when I think and feel.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’m not yet desperate enough to do anything about the conditions that are making me desperate.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’ve found the secret of happiness, total disregard of everybody.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’ve learned so much from my failures that I’m thinking of having some more.
Ashleigh Brilliant - I’ve learned to accept birth and death . . . but sometimes I still worry about what lies between.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If coffee didn’t exist, somebody would have to invent it for me very soon.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If I had more skill in what I’m attempting, I wouldn’t need so much courage.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If you can’t go over it or through it, you’d better negotiate with it.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If you don’t like my opinion of you, you can always improve.
Ashleigh Brilliant - If you never try anything new, you’ll miss many of the world’s great disappointments.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Instead of past, present and future, I’d prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Isn’t it a coincidence that you and I are both alive at the same time?
Ashleigh Brilliant - It costs money to stay healthy, but it’s even more expensive to get sick.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s all very simple, or else it’s all very complex, or perhaps it’s neither, or both.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s amazing how much research has gone into making some of the worst decisions.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s easier to learn many other things, if you first learn how to learn.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s good to have some certainty in life, even if it’s only that I’m in deep trouble.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s hard enough to be alive and human, without the additional burden of being me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s hard letting go of the past, when there are no firm handholds in the future.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s hard to face tomorrow, but it’s easier than facing no tomorrow.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s human to make mistakes, and some of us are much more human than others.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s sometimes easier to do the impossible than to do the embarrassing.
Ashleigh Brilliant - It’s well-known that men and women are different but it keeps being re-discovered with great excitement.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn’t all a dream?
Ashleigh Brilliant - Life can be very deep, but I’m trying to stay at the shallow end.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Life is a process of losing our illusions, until we finally lose the illusion that we’re alive.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Life may have no meaning — or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Look how often the unexpected happens — yet we still never expect it.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.
Ashleigh Brilliant - More books have resulted from somebody’s need to write than from anybody’s need to read.
Ashleigh Brilliant - My biggest problem is what to do about all the things I can’t do anything about.
Ashleigh Brilliant - My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.
Ashleigh Brilliant - My mind contains many good ideas, but it’s not always easy to squeeze one out.
Ashleigh Brilliant - My problems aren’t big but it doesn’t necessarily take a big problem to kill me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - My worst personal problem is that my computer doesn’t understand me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Not only don’t I know what tomorrow will bring, I’m still not entirely certain what yesterday brought.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Nothing really matters except a few things that really don’t matter very much.
Ashleigh Brilliant - One possible reason that I don’t believe in fate is that I wasn’t fated to.
Ashleigh Brilliant - One thing about pain: It proves you’re alive.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Please don’t believe everything you hear about me, regardless of how true it may be.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Please don’t lie to me, unless you’re absolutely sure I’ll never find out the truth.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Please don’t tell me there’s no need to worry, it’s the only thing I’m any good at.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Please don’t tell me to relax, it’s only my tension that’s holding me together.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Should I abide by the rules until they’re changed, or help speed the change by breaking them?
Ashleigh Brilliant - Some changes are so slow, you don’t notice them, others are so fast, they don’t notice you.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Sometimes I need what only you can provide — your absence.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Sooner or later, I’ll be punctual.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Speak nothing but the truth, and you’ll soon be considered dangerous.
Ashleigh Brilliant - The best thing about being too late is that there’s no more need to hurry.
Ashleigh Brilliant - The case has been going on for so long that I’ve forgotten whether I’m really innocent or guilty.
Ashleigh Brilliant - The future seems to be in good hands, it’s the past I’m worried about.
Ashleigh Brilliant - The longer I live, the less chance I’ll ever recover from what life keeps doing to me.
Ashleigh Brilliant - The surest way to learn is by doing it, but often, the lesson is: Don’t do it!
Ashleigh Brilliant - The task I’ve been given seems absurd: To wait here on earth until I no longer exist.
Ashleigh Brilliant - There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
Ashleigh Brilliant - There’s no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you’ve heard before.
Ashleigh Brilliant - There’s nothing on my mind that couldn’t be expressed by a long insane outburst of hysterical rage.
Ashleigh Brilliant - There’s so much to learn and so much of it not worth learning.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Time will end all my troubles, but I don’t always approve of Time’s methods.
Ashleigh Brilliant - To the Tax Office: All is over between us. Please don’t attempt to communicate with me again.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Unfortunately, it’s possible to be able to do something extremely well that nobody ever wants done.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Unlike most other people, I’m just an average person.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Watch out! It’s quite possible that some of my best mistakes haven’t yet been made.
Ashleigh Brilliant - We can all learn from our failures. What I’ve learned is how much it hurts to fail.
Ashleigh Brilliant - We’re still benefiting from the sacrifices of people long dead, but we’re also suffering from their errors.
Ashleigh Brilliant - We’ve been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
Ashleigh Brilliant - What good is it if I talk in flowers while you’re thinking in pastry?
Ashleigh Brilliant - Why am I so often at the mercy of those who don’t deserve to control my life?
Ashleigh Brilliant - Why aren’t you more grateful when I prove how wrong you’ve been?
Ashleigh Brilliant - Why is there still so much pain and suffering being produced when there’s so little demand for it?
Ashleigh Brilliant - You can’t stop progress, but you can help decide what is progress and what isn’t.
Ashleigh Brilliant - Your reasoning is excellent, it’s only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
Ashley Brilliant - A good friend is worth pursuing. . . but why would a good friend be running away?
Ashley Brilliant - A handsome reward is offered to anyone who can prove me wrong but refrains from doing so.
Ashley Brilliant - Accept me for what I am, completely unacceptable.
Ashley Brilliant - All I ask of Life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
Ashley Brilliant - All I want is a little more than I'll ever get.
Ashley Brilliant - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
Ashley Brilliant - All I want is more and more and more. Is that asking too much?
- A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
- A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Ashley Brilliant - All people are different. That's why everybody should be treated the same.
Ashley Brilliant - Apart from health, family, friends, possessions, memories, rights and reputation, what do you have to lose.
Ashley Brilliant - Appreciate me now and avoid the rush!
Ashley Brilliant - Are we having a relationship, or just doing research on each other?
Ashley Brilliant - Aren't I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.
Ashley Brilliant - As long as I have you there is just one other thing I'll always need tremendous self control.
Ashley Brilliant - At great expense, we have built a vast system of inter-connecting stupidities.
Ashley Brilliant - At what point in my struggle with nature will nature finally give up?
Ashley Brilliant - Be a good neighbor, and leave me alone.
Ashley Brilliant - Be kind to unkind people; they probably need it the most.
Ashley Brilliant - Been through Hell? Whaddya bring back for me?
Ashley Brilliant - Been through hell? What did you bring back for me?
Ashley Brilliant - Before I knew the best part of my life had come, it had gone.
Ashley Brilliant - Being dead is one way to experience nothing, another is to attend some classes at my school.
Ashley Brilliant - Better start rushing before the rush begins!
Ashley Brilliant - Beware! I'm acting under the influence of human nature.
Ashley Brilliant - By accepting you as you are, I do not necessarily abandon all hope of your improving.
Ashley Brilliant - By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm
Ashley Brilliant - By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.
Ashley Brilliant - By using your intelligence, you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated.
Ashley Brilliant - Caution! Be very careful of false, meaningless, self-contradictory, and not even very funny warnings, like this one.
Ashley Brilliant - Caution: Read no further if you are easily offended. [Thanks for confirming what I suspected about you.]
Ashley Brilliant - Cheer up! The worst effects of what we're doing won't be felt until after we're all dead
Ashley Brilliant - Cling to your insecurity, in this world, it's the only thing you can be sure of.
Ashley Brilliant - Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with some of the living.
Ashley Brilliant - Do what you know is right, but try not to get caught.
Ashley Brilliant - Do you believe in apathy at first sight?
Ashley Brilliant - Doing it wrong fast is at least better than doing it wrong slowly.
Ashley Brilliant - Don't be afraid, I'm right behind you (using you as a shield).
Ashley Brilliant - Don't interrupt me while I'm giving you my undivided attention.
Ashley Brilliant - Don't let yourself suffer needlessly, find a need to suffer.
Ashley Brilliant - Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
Ashley Brilliant - Dying is a part of living, but only a very small part.
Ashley Brilliant - Even a meaningless life may contain many good breakfasts.
Ashley Brilliant - Even if you're not enjoying the flight, it's futile to threaten to get out and walk.
Ashley Brilliant - Even when I'm happy and successful, life still goes on.
Ashley Brilliant - Even with a round table, some people always seem able to sit at the head of it.
Ashley Brilliant - Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window.
Ashley Brilliant - Every time I do it at least proves I can still do it.
Ashley Brilliant - Everything takes longer than you expect even when you expect it to take longer than you expect.
Ashley Brilliant - For me, it's always easy to choose between the Ultimate, the Infinite, and the Chocolate.
Ashley Brilliant - For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called 'here'.
Ashley Brilliant - Fortunately in my work there's always a choice: I can choose to do it willingly or unwillingly.
Ashley Brilliant - Get out of my way! I'm in a hurry to get home and relax.
Ashley Brilliant - Good ideas are common -- what's uncommon are people who'll work hard enough to bring them about.
Ashley Brilliant - Having failed to conquer myself, my best hope now is to arrange an alliance with myself.
Ashley Brilliant - He was tried in absentia, and hanged in effigy, but I can't find either of them on the map.
Ashley Brilliant - History may never have all the facts, but history always has the last word.
Ashley Brilliant - History records no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth.
Ashley Brilliant - Hold on to me: Someday I may be quite valuable.
Ashley Brilliant - How can I be sure I've succeeded, if I can't remember what I was trying to do.
Ashley Brilliant - How can I fail when I have no purpose?
Ashley Brilliant - How can you call it unreasonable when all I want is my own way?
Ashley Brilliant - How would you rate me on a scale of wonderful to marvellous?
Ashley Brilliant - I always like to know what I'm doing, but there are times when nobody will tell me.
Ashley Brilliant - I am always exact and precise (more or less).
Ashley Brilliant - I am eagerly awaiting my next disappointment.
Ashley Brilliant - I am irrevocably committed to being permanently indecisive.
Ashley Brilliant - I believe the stars can affect human lives, particularly by providing employment for thousands of astrologers.
Ashley Brilliant - I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.
Ashley Brilliant - I can face anything, except the future, and certain parts of the past and present.
Ashley Brilliant - I can no longer face life, so I've decided to go through the rest of it backwards.
Ashley Brilliant - I can only do one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.
Ashley Brilliant - I could do great things, if I weren't so busy doing little things.
Ashley Brilliant - I could do without many things with no hardship -- you are not one of them.
Ashley Brilliant - I didn't mind being a public executioner, once I got the hang of it.
Ashley Brilliant - I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
Ashley Brilliant - I don't know how to be happy -- They didn't teach it in my school.
Ashley Brilliant - I don't need a great deal of love but I do need a steady supply.
Ashley Brilliant - I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?
Ashley Brilliant - I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
Ashley Brilliant - I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.
Ashley Brilliant - I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.
Ashley Brilliant - I have just discovered the truth, and can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it.
Ashley Brilliant - I have many unrecognized talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.
Ashley Brilliant - I have no prejudices: all my irrational hatreds are based on solid evidence.
Ashley Brilliant - I have nothing definite to apologize for, I'm just sorry about everything in general.
Ashley Brilliant - I have you, you have me. At least one of us is lucky.
Ashley Brilliant - I hope I can settle my internal conflicts without bloodshed.
Ashley Brilliant - I know I need to learn patience. Where can I take a crash course?
Ashley Brilliant - I like who I am, and am puzzled to find that not everybody shares this opinion.
Ashley Brilliant - I march to a different drummer, whose location, identity, and musical training haven't yet been established.
Ashley Brilliant - I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
Ashley Brilliant - I never miss reality when I'm not in it, but it's sometimes nice to come back to.
Ashley Brilliant - I recently had my problems on the run, but now they've re-grouped, and are making another attack.
Ashley Brilliant - I too am a member of the human race, (but admittedly not a very active member).
Ashley Brilliant - I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you.
Ashley Brilliant - I want to reach your mind -- where is it currently located?
Aristotle - Hope is a waking dream.
Aristotle - Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Ashley Brilliant - I was educated once, and it took me years to get over it.
Ashley Brilliant - I was unemployed for a long time, but I couldn't adjust to the hours.
Ashley Brilliant - I worry about the possible existence of things that would worry me if I knew about them.
Ashley Brilliant - If coffee didn't exist, somebody would have to invent it for me very soon.
Ashley Brilliant - If I can survive death, I can probably survive anything.
Ashley Brilliant - If I do enough different things in enough different ways, I may, eventually, do something right.
Ashley Brilliant - If I had more skill in what I'm attempting, I wouldn't need so much courage.
Ashley Brilliant - If only our great thinkers could learn to talk, and our great talkers could learn to think.
Ashley Brilliant - If we all work together, we can totally disrupt the system.
Ashley Brilliant - If you can't go over it or through it, you'd better negotiate with it.
Ashley Brilliant - If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Ashley Brilliant - If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
Ashley Brilliant - If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.
Ashley Brilliant - If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie.
Ashley Brilliant - If you must keep groaning, please try to do it in a rhythm I can dance to.
Ashley Brilliant - If you never try anything new, you'll miss many of the world's great disappointments.
Ashley Brilliant - I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm a good leader if you don't try to follow me too closely.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm going on an eating strike and will refuse to stop eating until my demands are met.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm going to spend the rest of my life in the future, and possibly even longer.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm in search of myself -- have you seen me anywhere?
Ashley Brilliant - I'm just moving clouds today, tomorrow I'll try mountains.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm not always depressed: only when I think and feel.
Ashley Brilliant - I'm not yet desperate enough to do anything about the conditions that are making me desperate.
Ashley Brilliant - In a democracy, every little wrong idea may grow up to become national policy.
Ashley Brilliant - In one sense, I have always felt glad to have had the war [World War II] in my childhood, because, as a result, nothing that has happened in the world since then has ever seemed quite so bad. On the other hand, I never entirely got over my feeling of being cheated when the promised era of peace in a wonderful 'post-war world' failed to materialize. I could not understand how, after all that, people could ever even think of fighting again. And I still can't.
Ashley Brilliant - In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything.
Ashley Brilliant - Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
Ashley Brilliant - Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Ashley Brilliant - Is it you and I who are crazy, or is it everybody else?
Ashley Brilliant - Is there life in other families?
Ashley Brilliant - Isn't it a coincidence that you and I are both alive at the same time?
Ashley Brilliant - It can take a surprisingly long time to get from one part of my mind to another.
Ashley Brilliant - It costs money to stay healthy, but it's even more expensive to get sick.
Ashley Brilliant - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Ashley Brilliant - It would be easier for me to reject all established values, if I knew what they were.
Ashley Brilliant - It's all very simple, or else it's all very complex, or perhaps it's neither, or both.
Ashley Brilliant - It's amazing how much research has gone into making some of the worst decisions.
Ashley Brilliant - It's easier to learn many other things, if you first learn how to learn.
Ashley Brilliant - It's good to have some certainty in life, even if it's only that I'm in deep trouble.
Ashley Brilliant - It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me.
Ashley Brilliant - It's hard enough to be alive and human, without the additional burden of being me.
Ashley Brilliant - It's hard letting go of the past, when there are no firm handholds in the future.
Ashley Brilliant - It's hard to face tomorrow, but it's easier than facing no tomorrow.
Ashley Brilliant - It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
Ashley Brilliant - It's human to make mistakes, and some of us are much more human than others.
Ashley Brilliant - It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.
Ashley Brilliant - It's sometimes easier to do the impossible than to do the embarrassing.
Ashley Brilliant - It's true, I'm a slow learner but I compensate by being a fast forgetter.
Ashley Brilliant - It's well-known that men and women are different but it keeps being re-discovered with great excitement.
Ashley Brilliant - I've found the secret of happiness, total disregard of everybody.
Ashley Brilliant - I've learned so much from my failures that I'm thinking of having some more.
Ashley Brilliant - I've learned to accept birth and death . . . but sometimes I still worry about what lies between.
Ashley Brilliant - Just when I nearly had the answer, I forgot the question.
Ashley Brilliant - Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?
Ashley Brilliant - Life can be very deep, but I'm trying to stay at the shallow end.
Ashley Brilliant - Life is a process of losing our illusions, until we finally lose the illusion that we're alive.
Ashley Brilliant - Life is an incurable condition: the only known treatment is to try to keep the patient comfortable.
Ashley Brilliant - Life is not a problem -- Life is the closest God has yet come to a solution.
Ashley Brilliant - Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.
Ashley Brilliant - Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.
Ashley Brilliant - Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
Ashley Brilliant - Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Ashley Brilliant - Look how often the unexpected happens ' yet we still never expect it.
Ashley Brilliant - Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.
Ashley Brilliant - More books have resulted from somebody's need to write than from anybody's need to read.
Ashley Brilliant - Most of my problems have no answer or else the answer is worse than the problem.
Ashley Brilliant - My biggest problem is what to do about all the things I can't do anything about.
Ashley Brilliant - My cat knows the meaning of life, but has no interest in sharing the secret.
Ashley Brilliant - My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer.
Ashley Brilliant - My first line of defense against reality is called sleep.
Ashley Brilliant - My intense pursuit of physical and mental health is ruining my body and destroying my mind.
Ashley Brilliant - My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
Ashley Brilliant - My life has been greatly influenced by many books which I have never read.
Ashley Brilliant - My life shows a clear pattern of total unpredictability.
Ashley Brilliant - My life so far has been a long series of things I wasn't ready for.
Ashley Brilliant - My main object in life is to see what will happen next.
Ashley Brilliant - My mind contains many good ideas, but it's not always easy to squeeze one out.
Ashley Brilliant - My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.
Ashley Brilliant - My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
Ashley Brilliant - My problems aren't big but it doesn't necessarily take a big problem to kill me.
Ashley Brilliant - My social life is much better, since I stopped spending it with other people.
Ashley Brilliant - My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
Ashley Brilliant - My struggle to remain healthy is gradually killing me.
Ashley Brilliant - My struggle to stay healthy is gradually killing me.
Ashley Brilliant - My success lies in having achieved a record numbers of failures.
Ashley Brilliant - My time is far too valuable for me to spend any of it trying to improve myself.
Ashley Brilliant - My worst personal problem is that my computer doesn't understand me.
Ashley Brilliant - Never underestimate the size and scope of my problems.
Ashley Brilliant - No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.
Ashley Brilliant - Not even a great leader can get very far without great people to lead.
Ashley Brilliant - Not only don't I know what tomorrow will bring, I'm still not entirely certain what yesterday brought.
Ashley Brilliant - Nothing really matters except a few things that really don't matter very much.
Ashley Brilliant - One good thing about my computer: it never asks why.
Ashley Brilliant - One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.
Ashley Brilliant - One problem I have definitely solved is the problem of not having enough to worry about.
Ashley Brilliant - One thing about pain: It proves you're alive.
Ashley Brilliant - One thing you can rely on is that there will always be uncertainty.
Ashley Brilliant - Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.
Ashley Brilliant - Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.
Ashley Brilliant - Please don't believe everything you hear about me, regardless of how true it may be.
Ashley Brilliant - Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.
Ashley Brilliant - Please don't tell me there's no need to worry, it's the only thing I'm any good at.
Ashley Brilliant - Please don't tell me to relax, it's only my tension that's holding me together.
Ashley Brilliant - Should I abide by the rules until they're changed, or help speed the change by breaking them?
Ashley Brilliant - Some books makes me want to go adventuring, others feel that they have saved me the trouble.
Ashley Brilliant - Some changes are so slow, you don't notice them, others are so fast, they don't notice you.
Ashley Brilliant - Some men are just as sure of the truth of their opinions as are others of what they know.
Ashley Brilliant - Some of my troubles are so familiar, I know them by their first names.
Ashley Brilliant - Some people can find all the peace of mind they need in a good, satisfying conflict.
Ashley Brilliant - Sometimes I need what only you can provide -- your absence.
Ashley Brilliant - Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
Ashley Brilliant - Sometimes the best way to be useful is to get out of somebody's way.
Ashley Brilliant - Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.
Ashley Brilliant - Sometimes the only way you can win is to stay out of the game.
Ashley Brilliant - Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.
Ashley Brilliant - Speak nothing but the truth, and you'll soon be considered dangerous.
Ashley Brilliant - Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story.
Ashley Brilliant - Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is longing to go back to.
Ashley Brilliant - Success for some people, depends on becoming well-known; for others, it depends on never being found out.
Ashley Brilliant - Take Courage! Whatever you decide to do, it will probably be the wrong thing.
Ashley Brilliant - Take heart! Many great things have been done by people in poor mental health.
Ashley Brilliant - Thanks to my computer, I have now achieved a much higher state of disorganization.
Ashley Brilliant - The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.
Ashley Brilliant - The best thing about being too late is that there's no more need to hurry.
Ashley Brilliant - The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.
Ashley Brilliant - The chief purpose of our organization is to perpetuate our organization.
Ashley Brilliant - The closer I get to my goal, the greater my chance of discovering what it is.
Ashley Brilliant - The closest you will ever come in this life to an orderly universe is a good library.
Ashley Brilliant - The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.
Ashley Brilliant - The entire universe will eventually disintegrate but by then I hope to be in a safer place.
Ashley Brilliant - The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.
Ashley Brilliant - The future seems to be in good hands, it's the past I'm worried about.
Ashley Brilliant - The greatest obstacle to discovering the truth is being convinced that you already know it.
Ashley Brilliant - The longer I live the less future there is to worry about.
Ashley Brilliant - The longer I live, the less chance I'll ever recover from what life keeps doing to me.
Ashley Brilliant - The majority is never right, unless it includes me.
Ashley Brilliant - The more sure you are, the more wrong you can be.
Ashley Brilliant - The most exciting place to discover talent is in yourself.
Ashley Brilliant - The older you get, the more important it is not to act your age.
Ashley Brilliant - The really great people are the ones who know how to make the little people feel great.
Ashley Brilliant - The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.
Ashley Brilliant - The surest way to learn is by doing it, but often, the lesson is: Don't do it!
Ashley Brilliant - The surest way to remain a winner is to win once, and then not play any more.
Ashley Brilliant - The task I've been given seems absurd: To wait here on earth until I no longer exist.
Ashley Brilliant - The things I fear may all be imaginary, so what I fear most is my imagination.
Ashley Brilliant - The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
Ashley Brilliant - The trouble is that sex is a force of nature, and reason is not.
Ashley Brilliant - The truly successful teacher is the one you will never need again.
Ashley Brilliant - There are no important differences between men and women, but the unimportant ones are sometimes very interesting.
Ashley Brilliant - There is a world which I alone rule, but it ends at my fingertips.
Ashley Brilliant - There may not be a Heaven, but there is a San Francisco.
Ashley Brilliant - There ought to be a better way than government to run the world.
Ashley Brilliant - There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.
Ashley Brilliant - There's nothing on my mind that couldn't be expressed by a long insane outburst of hysterical rage.
Ashley Brilliant - There's so much to learn and so much of it not worth learning.
Ashley Brilliant - They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.
Ashley Brilliant - Things are gradually falling into place on top of me.
Ashley Brilliant - This is serious: some of the things that are supposed to last the rest of my life are already wearing out.
Ashley Brilliant - Time will end all my troubles, but I don't always approve of Time's methods.
Ashley Brilliant - To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
Ashley Brilliant - To be sure of winning, invent your own game, and never tell any other player the rules.
Ashley Brilliant - To the Tax Office: All is over between us. Please don't attempt to communicate with me again.
Ashley Brilliant - Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
Ashley Brilliant - Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
Ashley Brilliant - Unfortunately, it's possible to be able to do something extremely well that nobody ever wants done.
Ashley Brilliant - Unless you move, the place where you are is the place where you will always be.
Ashley Brilliant - Unlike most other people, I'm just an average person.
Ashley Brilliant - Until I met you, I thought the world had some rational basis.
Ashley Brilliant - Vote wisely, even if that means not voting at all.
Ashley Brilliant - Watch out! It's quite possible that some of my best mistakes haven't yet been made.
Ashley Brilliant - We can all learn from our failures. What I've learned is how much it hurts to fail.
Ashley Brilliant - We must have courage, faith, and lunch together sometime soon.
Ashley Brilliant - We're still benefiting from the sacrifices of people long dead, but we're also suffering from their errors.
Ashley Brilliant - We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
Ashley Brilliant - What could possibly be more fantastic than reality?
Ashley Brilliant - What good is it if I talk in flowers while you're thinking in pastry?
Ashley Brilliant - What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.
Ashley Brilliant - What people won't do for passion they will often do for fashion.
Ashley Brilliant - When I said make the most of yourself, I didn't mean get fat.
Ashley Brilliant - When in-laws are outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws.
Ashley Brilliant - When you plan a journey from your mind into mine, remember to allow for the time difference.
Ashley Brilliant - Where would I be without my sense of direction.
Ashley Brilliant - Why am I so often at the mercy of those who don't deserve to control my life?
Ashley Brilliant - Why are you so uncooperative whenever I have you under attack.
Ashley Brilliant - Why aren't you more grateful when I prove how wrong you've been?
Ashley Brilliant - Why does it so often take a genius to see the obvious?
Ashley Brilliant - Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Ashley Brilliant - Why does merely attempting to understand Reality so often seem to lead to going insane?
Ashley Brilliant - Why have I been singled out to be so ordinary?
Ashley Brilliant - Why is my autograph so little in demand, except on checks?
Ashley Brilliant - Why is the competition always so intense to set new records for maximum stupidity?
Ashley Brilliant - Why is there still so much pain and suffering being produced when there's so little demand for it?
Ashley Brilliant - With all deference to Chairman Mao and other authors whose quotations derive from longer works, it seemed that I was becoming the world's first writer of self-contained ready-made quotations.
Ashley Brilliant - Without me there could be no everybody.
Ashley Brilliant - Women can do anything men can do, but often have more sense than even to be interested.
Ashley Brilliant - Wonderful! You have some of my favourite problems!
Ashley Brilliant - Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and punches.
Ashley Brilliant - You are what you eat, but eventually you become what eats you.
Ashley Brilliant - You can never discard too many bad ideas.
Ashley Brilliant - You can't stop progress, but you can help decide what is progress and what isn't.
Ashley Brilliant - You have a right to enjoy life, but only on your own time.
Ashley Brilliant - Your reasoning is excellent, it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
Audrey, "Twin Peaks" - "I've been doing some research -- in real life there is no algebra."
Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964) - Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Author Unknown - An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
Authors - Friedrich Nietzsche: "Plato was a bore." Leo Tolstoy: "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." Ernest Hemingway: "I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy." Harold Robbins: "Hemingway was a jerk."
Ayn Rand - The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.
Ayn Rand (1905-1982), Atlas Shrugged - Pride is the recognition of the fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man’s values, it has to be earned.
Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged, 1957) - Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another.
Ayn Rand Atlas Shrugged, 1957 - A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.
Backcountry proverbs - Poor folks have poor ways, and rich folk damned mean ones.
Barbara Bush - "Believe in something larger than yourself."
Barbara Streisand - Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's bad habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Barker's Proof - Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Barry Phelps - He is a member of the effluent society. Stinking rich.
Baruch Spinoza - Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.
Basil King - Be bold-and mighty forces will come to your aid.
Batman Costume warning label - "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
Beaumarchais - As long as I don't write about the government, religion, politics, and other institutions, I am free to print anything.
Ben Cartwright - Never feel guilty about having warm human feelings toward anyone. (Lorne Greene's character on Bonanza)
Ben Hecht - Love is a hole in the heart.
Ben Lindsay - Pontius Pilate was the first great censor, and Jesus Christ the first great victim of censorship.
Benjamin Disraeli - "The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli - The first magic of love is our ignorance that it can ever end.
Benjamin Franklin - A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.
Benjamin Franklin - Admiration is the daughter of ignorance.
Benjamin Franklin - Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin - Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper
Benjamin Franklin - Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship
Benjamin Franklin - Do'st thou love life, then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin - Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
Benjamin Franklin - Fatigue is the best pillow.
Benjamin Franklin - Fish and visitors smell in three days.
Benjamin Franklin - Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Benjamin Franklin - God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country. (1789)
Benjamin Franklin - He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes books.
Benjamin Franklin - He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
Benjamin Franklin - He who won't be counseled can't be helped.
Benjamin Franklin - Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?
Benjamin Franklin - Hunger is the best pickle.
Benjamin Franklin - If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some; for he that goes a-borrowing goes a-sorrowing.
Benjamin Franklin - In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklin - Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin - Many have quarreled about religion that never practiced it.
Benjamin Franklin - Necessity never made a good bargain.
Benjamin Franklin - Nothing is more fatal to health than an overcare of it.
Benjamin Franklin - One good Husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are the more they're valued.
Benjamin Franklin - Our necessities never equal our wants.
Benjamin Franklin - Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God.
Benjamin Franklin - Sin is not harmful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful.
Benjamin Franklin - The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.
Benjamin Franklin - The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
Benjamin Franklin - The discontented man finds no easy chair.
Benjamin Franklin - The first mistake in public business is the going into it.
Benjamin Franklin - The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
Benjamin Franklin - The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
Benjamin Franklin - The use of money is all the advantage there is in having money.
Benjamin Franklin - They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin - Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin - To err is human, to repent divine; to persist, devilish.
Benjamin Franklin - To the generous mind the heaviest debt is that of gratitude, when it is not in our power to repay it.
Benjamin Franklin - Where liberty is, there is my country.
Benjamin Franklin - You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?
Benjamin Franklin - You may delay, but time will not.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) - Well done is better than well said.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) - Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Benjamin Jowett - Never retreat. Never explain. Get it done and let them howl.
Benjamin Mays - "It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream."
Benny Hill - I'm not against half-naked girls -- not as often as I'd like to be...
Benny Hill - The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
Benny Hill - Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
Bert Leston Taylor - A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
Bertie C. Forbes - History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.
Bertrand Russell - "Cynicism is the combination of comfort with powerlessness."
Bertrand Russell - In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
Bertrand Russell - Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death....Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
Bertrand Russell - Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
Bertrand Russell - Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) - "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) - One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) - The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection.
BEST COLLEGE APPLICATION EVER - I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.
Betty Friedan (1921-2006) - Strange new problems are being reported in the growing generations of children whose mothers were always there, driving them around, helping them with their homework -- an inability to endure pain or discipline or pursue any self-sustained goal of any sort, a devastating boredom with life.
Bible, Psalm xxxix. 3 - While I was musing the fire burned.
Bill Cosby - A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby - Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby - Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
Bill Cosby - As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
Bill Cosby - Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
Bill Cosby - Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Bill Cosby - Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
Bill Cosby - Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
Bill Cosby - Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Bill Cosby - Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Bill Cosby - Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
Bill Cosby - Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby - Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby - I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
Bill Cosby - I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
Bill Cosby - I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby - I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bill Cosby - I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
Bill Cosby - If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
Bill Cosby - Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.
Bill Cosby - In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
Bill Cosby - It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.
Bill Cosby - Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby - Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Bill Cosby - Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
Bill Cosby - My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
Bill Cosby - No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Bill Cosby - Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
Bill Cosby - Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
Bill Cosby - Old is always fifteen years from now.
Bill Cosby - Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
Bill Cosby - People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
Bill Cosby - Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
Bill Cosby - Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Bill Cosby - Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Bill Cosby - That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
Bill Cosby - That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Bill Cosby - The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
Bill Cosby - The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
Bill Cosby - The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
Bill Cosby - The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
Bill Cosby - The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
Bill Cosby - There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Bill Cosby - There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
Bill Cosby - Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Bill Cosby - When you become senile, you won't know it.
Bill Cosby - Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.
Bill Cosby - You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Bill Cosby - You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
Bill Gates (1955-), in 1981 - 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Hirst - I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Bill Joy - Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks.
Bill Lawrence - The honeymoon is over when he phones that he'll be late for supper -- and she has already left a note that it's in the refrigerator.
Bill Maher - Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me-I quit."
Bill Peterson, football coach - "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Bill Shankly - Some people think football is a matter of life and death...I can assure them it is much more serious than that.
Bill Watterson - There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
Bill Wilson - It's not true that men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses; it's the frame that counts.
Bill Wulf - There is only one nature -- the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Bit of Fry and Laurie - think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Bits & Pieces - "A good way to judge people is by observing how they treat those who can do them absolutely no good."
Bits & Pieces - "Don't worry about what's ahead. Just go as far as you can go -- from there you can see farther."
Bits & Pieces - "There are too many people praying for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when what they really need is courage to climb them."
Bjarne Stroustrup - "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
Blaise Pascal - Do you wish people to think well of you? Don't speak of yourself.
Blaise Pascal - Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts.
Bo Lozoff - We're all stumbling towards the light with varying degrees of grace at any given moment.
Bob Dylan - My favorite politician was Arizona Senator Barry Goldwater, who reminded me of Tom Mix, and there wasn't any way to explain that to anybody.
BOB DYLAN [Robert Zimmerman] - Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.
Bob Hope - "When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage -- he shot both his parents and moved in."
Bob Hope - People who blow kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Krumm - Vampires have their stakes and werewolves have their silver bullets, but there is nothing man has yet devised that can kill a government program.
Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) - "Grove giveth and Gates taketh away." (on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands)
Bob Monkhouse - They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, theyre not laughing now.
Bob Rubin - Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
Bob Thaves - It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.
Booker T. Washington - "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles that one has overcome while trying to succeed."
Booker T. Washington - You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
Boris Spassky - A man who is willing to commit suicide has the initiative.
Brad Templeton - The rest of the world views the USA the way Silicon Valley views Microsoft. Except with tanks.
Bradford Johnson - Women are soft, and fun to touch, but that does not stop them from being incarnations of pure evil.
Branch Rickey - "Luck is the residue of design." -- former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team
Brian E. Moore - In fact, one thing that I have noticed... is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.
Brian Tracy - Every single life only becomes great when the individual sets upon a goal or goals which they really believe in, which they can really commit themselves to, which they can put their whole heart and soul into.
Brian Tracy - You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.
Brian Tracy - Your greatest asset is your earning ability. Your greatest resource is your time. Invest three percent of your income in yourself (self-development) in order to guarantee your future. Every single life only becomes great when the individual sets upon a goal or goals which they really believe in, which they can really commit themselves to, which they can put their whole heart and soul into.
Brian W. Kernighan - Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.
Dave Barry - Always remember this: your subordinates are not machines. They are human beings, with the same needs, the same wants, and the same dreams as you. Okay, maybe not all the same dreams. Probably they don't have the one where you're naked in a vat of Yoo-Hoo with the Soviet gymnastics team.
Dave Barry - American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Dave Barry - And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.
Brian W. Kernighan - The most effective debugging tool is still careful thought, coupled with judiciously placed print statements. Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code Brian W. Kernighan -- in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
Brigham Young - He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense is intended is usually a fool.
Brooke Shields - "If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooks Atkinson - I have no objection to churches so long as they do not interfere with God's work.
Bruce Graham - Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Bruce Willis - On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open our own jars.
Buckaroo Bonzai - Where ever you go, there you are.
Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983) - When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Buddha - "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
Bumper sticker - "All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"
Burt Bacharach - synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
C. A. R. Hoare - There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
C. C. Colton - There is this difference between happiness and wisdom, that he that thinks himself the happiest man, really is so; but he who thinks himself the wisest, is generally the greatest fool.
C. S. Lewis - A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell
C. S. Lewis - God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
C. S. Lewis - I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else
C. S. Lewis - It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis - Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
C.W. Wendte - "Success in life is a matter not so much of talent and opportunity as of concentration and perseverance."
Calvin Coolidge - Liberty is not collective, it is personal. All liberty is individual liberty.
Calvin Coolidge - Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Calvin Coolidge - There is no justification for public interference with purely private concerns.
Calvin Trillin - The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Camillien Houde - I will erect not only urinals but also arsenals.
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI - People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.
Captain Edward V. Rickenbacker - I can give you a six-word formula for success: Think things through -- then follow through.
Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) - Ask her to wait a moment -- I am almost done. (while working, when informed that his wife is dying)
Carl Gustav Jung - Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Howe - Microsoft is like Coke. It's a secret formula, all the money is from distribution, and their goal is to get Coke everywhere. Open source is like selling water. There are water companies like Perrier and Poland Spring, but you're competing with something that's free.
Carl Jung (1875-1961) - The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.
Carl Sagan - "People who avoid decapitation leave more offspring."
Carl Sagan - If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sandburg - Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
Carlos Castaneda - The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse.
Carmen Boyle - Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die. -Olympic gold medal winner , 1996
Carol Bishop Hipps - Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.
Carol Leifer - I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Cary Grant - Insanity doesn't run in our family -- it practically gallops.
Cassius - In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.
Catherine Zandonella - Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato) - After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Cecil B. DeMille - Creation is a drug I can't do without.
Cecil Beaton - Be daring, be different, be impractical; be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
Changing Times - Bad news, it is said, comes in twos. Pain and suffering. Hunger and thirst. Fear and trembling. Parts and labor.
Charles "Chic" Thompson - If everyone says you are wrong, you're one step ahead. If everyone laughs at you, you're two steps ahead.
Charles "Chic" Thompson - The best way to get great ideas is to get lots of ideas and throw the bad ones away.
Charles Barkley - My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. 1994 on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself 'the Charles Barkley of figure skating'
Charles Buxton - You will never "find" time for anything. If you want time you must make it.
Charles Darwin - It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970) - The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Charles Dickens (1812-1870) - He would make a lovely corpse.
Charles Du Bos - The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
Charles F. Kettering - Action without intelligence is a form of insanity, but intelligence without action is the greatest form of stupidity in the world.
Charles F. Kettering - The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.
Charles H. Duell - Everything that can be invented has been invented. (Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899)
Charles Hole - Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.
Charles Kuralt - It was cold out there, bitter, biting, cutting, piercing, hyperborean, marmoreal cold, and there were all these Minnesotans running around outdoors, happy as lambs in the spring.
Charles Kuralt - Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
Charles Lamb - Credulity is the man's weakness but the child's strength.
Charles M. Schulz - Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. (Charlie Brown)
Charles Osgood - Being Politically Correct means always having to say you're sorry.
Charles Schultz, creator of "Peanuts" - In the book of life's questions, the answers are not in the back.
Charles Schwab - A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.
Charles Wadsworth - By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles William Stubbs - To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Charlie Brown - I've developed a new philosophy...only dread one day at a time.
Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) - In the end, everything is a gag.
Charlton Heston - Political correctness is just tyranny with manners.
Chaucer - If we're not foolish young, we're foolish old.
Chauncey Depew - I get all my exercise from acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich - "How can I lose to such an idiot? (shouted)
chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) - The mistakes are all waiting to be made. (on the game's opening position)
Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) - Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Chester L. Karrass - In business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.
Chief Judge Dolores Sloviter, 1996 - The [Communications Decency Act] is patently a government-imposed content-based restriction on speech, and the speech at issue, whether denominated "indecent" or "patently offensive," is entitled to constitutional protection.
Children's Books (1865) - Lewis Carrol: 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' -- "We fancy that any real child might be more puzzled than enchanted by this stiff, overwrought story."
Chinese Proverb - "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
Chinese Proverb - "Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."
Chinese Proverb - "To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation."
Chinese Proverb - A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Chinese Proverb - Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
Chinese Proverb - Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.
Chin-Ning Chu - It is not whether your words or actions are tough or gentle; it is the spirit behind your actions and words that announces your inner state.
Chris Espinosa - In my experience, telling someone to switch Unix shells for ease of use is like telling him to switch cigarette brands for his health.
Chris Unger - Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I thought, 'Where the hell is the ceiling?'
Christian Nestell Bovee - It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.
Christian Nestell Bovee - We make way for the man who boldly pushes past us.
Christopher Andrea - Ignorance is a right! Education is eroding one of the few democratic freedoms remaining to us.
Christopher Morley - A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
Christopher Morley - Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
Christopher Morley - There is only one success -- to spend your life in your own way.
Chuang Tse - "I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man."
Chuck Norris - A lot of people give up just before they're about to make it. You know you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one.
Chuck Norris - A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can't do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.
Chuck Norris - I definitely feel I do have God in my corner.
Chuck Norris - I think setting a goal, getting a visual image of what it is you want. You've got to see what it is you want to achieve before you can pursue it.
Chuck Norris - I'm a very religious person.
Chuck Norris - In America the schools have become too permissive, the kids now are controlling the schools, the tail is wagging the dog. We've got to make a change there and get it back to where the teachers have control of the classrooms.
Chuck Norris - It wasn't until I went to Korea out of high school and got exposed to the martial arts for the first time and was just completely enamored with the physical ability of the martial arts and making my black belt.
Chuck Norris - I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you've got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.
Chuck Norris - I've been very fortunate to be able to use my series as a platform to show a good message for the kids.
Chuck Norris - Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
Chuck Norris - People need to realise what real happiness and success is, because success as an actor is fleeting. You can be up there one day and gone the next.
Chuck Norris - Some of the most miserable people I know are some of the richest people in America, they are the most miserable individuals I've ever seen.
Chuck Norris - Violence is my last option.
Cicero (106-43 B.C.) - I criticize by creation -- not by finding fault.
Cicero (106-43 B.C.) - No Sane man will dance.
Cicero (106-43 BC) - There is pleasure in calm remembrance of a past sorrow.
Clare Boothe Luce - Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there.
Clarence Darrow - Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.
Clarence Darrow - History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.
Clarence Darrow - I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.
Clarence Darrow - I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.
Clarence Darrow - I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.
Clarence Darrow - I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.
Clarence Darrow - The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial (1925) - I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Clarence Day - If your parent's didn't have children, there's a good chance you won't have any.
Clark Gable - It's an extra dividend when you like the girl you're in love with.
Claude G. Bowers - History is the torch that is meant to illuminate the past, to guard us against the repetition of our mistakes of other days. We cannot join in the rewriting of history to make it conform to our comfort and convenience. ntroduction, The U.S. and the Spanish Civil War, 1956
Claude M. Bristol - It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down resistance, sweeps away all obstacles.
Claude M. Bristol - It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
Claude M. Bristol - What you believe yourself to be, you are.
CLEESE, JOHN - If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
CLINT EASTWOOD - I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice
Clive James - Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
Coach Bear Bryant - It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.
Cole Porter - I get no kick from champagne, Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all, So tell me why should it be true That I get a kick out of you?
Cole Porter (1938) - Most gentlemen don't like love, They just like to kick it around.
Colin Wilson - The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Collis P. Huntingdon - Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
Colonel Flagg - Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor - "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony - "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
Comte DeBussy-Rabutin - Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Confucius - [The superior man] acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions.
Confucius - A gentleman considers what is right; The vulgar consider what will pay.
Confucius - Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others
Confucius - Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
Confucius - Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
Confucius - Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Confucius - By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.
Confucius - Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Confucius - Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.
Confucius - Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
Confucius - Have no friends not equal to yourself.
Confucius - He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.
Confucius - He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north polar star, which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it.
Confucius - He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.
Confucius - He who will not economize will have to agonize.
Confucius - He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.
Confucius - Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.
Confucius - I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there.
Confucius - I have not seen a person who loved virtue, or one who hated what was not virtuous. He who loved virtue would esteem nothing above it.
Confucius - I have not seen one who loves virtue as he loves beauty.
Confucius - I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
Confucius - If a man takes no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand.
Confucius - If a man withdraws his mind from the love of beauty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of the virtuous; if, in serving his parents, he can exert his utmost strength; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his life; if in his intercourse with his friends, his words are sincere -- although men say that he has not learned, I will certainly say that he has.
Confucius - If my mind is not engaged in my worship, it is as though I worshipped not.
Confucius - If you would one day renovate yourself, do so from day to day.
Confucius - Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.
Confucius - Is virtue a thing remote? I wish to be virtuous, and lo! Virtue is at hand.
Confucius - It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
Confucius - It is harder to be poor without murmuring than to be rich without arrogance.
Confucius - Learning without thought is labor lost.
Confucius - Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.
Confucius - Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.
Confucius - Man is born with uprightness. If one loses it, he will be lucky if he escapes with his life.
Confucius - Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.
Confucius - Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.
Confucius - Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.
Confucius - Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Confucius - Our headstrong passions shut the door of our souls against God.
Confucius - Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Confucius - Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.
Ashley Brilliant - I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy.
Ashley Brilliant - I try to take life as it comes, and just hope it keeps coming.
Ashley Brilliant - I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack at once
Ashley Brilliant - I understood most of your message, but would you mind repeating the last scream?
Confucius - Respect yourself and others will respect you.
Confucius - Study the past if you would define the future.
Confucius - Study the past if you would divine the future.
Confucius - The cautious seldom err.
Confucius - The determined scholar and the man of virtue will not seek to live at the expense of injuring their virtue. They will even sacrifice their lives to preserve their virtue complete.
Confucius - The end of the day is near when small men make long shadows.
Confucius - The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue.
Confucius - The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
Confucius - The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration.
Confucius - The man who in view of gain thinks of righteousness; who in the view of danger is prepared to give up his life; and who does not forget an old agreement however far back it extends -- such a man may be reckoned a complete man.
Confucius - The people may be made to follow a path of action, but they may not be made to understand it.
Confucius - The scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Confucius - The superior man cannot be known in little matters, but he may be entrusted with great concerns. The small man may not be entrusted with great concerns, but he may be known in little matters.
Confucius - The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.
Confucius - The superior man is satisfied and composed; the mean man is always full of distress.
Confucius - The superior man makes the difficulty to be overcome his first interest; success comes only later.
Confucius - The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.
Confucius - The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.
Confucius - The superior man...does not set his mind either for anything, or against anything; what is right he will follow.
Confucius - The true gentleman does not preach what he practices till he has practiced what he preaches.
Confucius - There are three things which the superior man guards against. In youth...lust. When he is strong...quarrelsomeness. When he is old...covetousness.
Confucius - They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius - Things that are done, it is needless to speak about...things that are past, it is needless to blame.
Confucius - Those who do not study are only cattle dressed up in mens clothes.
Confucius - To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...[They are] gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.
Confucius - To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.
Confucius - To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
Confucius - To have faults and to be making no effort to amend them is to have faults indeed!
Confucius - To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.
Confucius - To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle.
Confucius - Virtue is more to man than either water or fire. I have seen men die from treading on water and fire, but I have never seen a man die from treading the course of virtue.
Confucius - Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
Confucius - We should worship as though the deity were present.
Confucius - What the superior man seeks is in himself. What the mean man seeks is in others.
Confucius - What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.
Confucius - What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
Confucius - When a man's knowledge is sufficient to attain, and his virtue is not sufficient to enable him to hold, whatever he may have gained, he will lose again.
Confucius - When anger rises, think of the consequences.
Confucius - When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
Confucius - When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
Confucius - When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.
Confucius - When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it -- this is knowledge.
Confucius - Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
Confucius - While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits [of the dead]?...While you do not know life, how can you know about death?
Confucius - With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and my bended arm for a pillow -- I have still joy in the midst of these things. Riches and honors acquired by unrighteousness are to me as a floating cloud.
Confucius - Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established.
Confucius - Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing.
Confucius (479 BC) - He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
COOK, RICH - Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper - "We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
Cox, "Scrubs" - Should I talk slower, or go get a nurse who speaks fluent Moron?
Cristian Arcega - PowerPoint is a distraction. People use it when they don't know what to say.
Cynthia Heimel - When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
Cynthia Pearl Maus - You may have tangible wealth untold, Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you could never be; I know someone who told stories to me.
Cyril Connoly - There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbours will say.
Dag Hammarskjold - What gives life its value you can find -- and lose. But never posess. This holds good above all for "the Truth about Life."
Dallin H Oaks - If we choose the wrong road, we choose the wrong destination.
Dan Martinez - If you shoot me with .25 ACP, and I find out about it, I'll kick your ass.
Dan Quayle - "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle - "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
Dan Quayle - "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
Dan Quayle - "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."
Dan Quayle - "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle - "The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
Brian W. Kernighan - I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Dan Quayle - "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
Dan Quayle, US VP - "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
Dan Rather - An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
Dan Shafer - I was sitting on a curb one day feeling all dejected, and a little bird came along and said 'cheer up, it could be worse', so I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.
Daniel O'Connell - Nothing is politically right which is morally wrong.
Daniel Webster - I was born an American; I will live an American; I shall die an American.
Danny Baker - May we now all rise and sing the eternal school hymn: "Attack. Attack. Attack Attack Attack!"
Danny Kaye - Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
Dark Helmet - Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb. (Rick Moranis' character in Spaceballs, 1987)
Dave Barry - "So," she said, and I could tell by the way she spoke the word that it had quotation marks around it. "You're a young Southern lawyer resembling a John Grisham protagonist as much as possible without violating the copyright laws." "That's right," I replied. "Perhaps we can have sex." "Not in the first chapter," she said. -- Dave's attempt at a John Grisham book...
Dave Barry - A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
Dave Barry - A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.
Dave Barry - All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?"
Dave Barry - Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry - Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.
Dave Barry - As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
Dave Barry - As an American, you are very fortunate to live in a country (America) where you have many legal rights. This doesn't mean you can do just anything. For example, you can't shout "FIRE!" in a crowded theater. Even if there is a fire, you can't shout it. A union worker has to shout it.
Dave Barry - At this point Europe was invaded by barbarian motorcycle gangs such as the Angles, the Franks, the Jutes, the Teds, the Sextants, the Ventricles, and Martha and the Vandellas. This led to the Middle Ages, which were characterized by strict zoning regulations requiring that every 250 yards there had to be a giant cathedral built from stones the size of Raymond Burr.
Dave Barry - August 2 : In Olympic basketball action, the Dream Team, seeking to save time, defeats teams from Brazil, Poland and Canada simultaneously.
Dave Barry - Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
Dave Barry - Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Dave Barry - Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Dave Barry - Camp Sharparoon was a camp for youths from inner-city New York who were popularly known at the time as "disadvantaged," which meant they knew a LOT more about sex than I did. I was in charge of a group of 12- and 13-year-old boys, and when they'd get to talking about sex, I, the counselor, the Voice of Maturity, the Father Figure for these Troubled Children, would listen intently, occasionally contributing helpful words of guidance such as: "Really?" And: "Gosh!" There were times when I would have given my right arm to be a disadvantaged youth.
Dave Barry - Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dave Barry - Computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By "they" I mean "computers": I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)
Dave Barry - Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDED AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH HE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
Dave Barry - Consider this: In the United States, an automobile is stolen EVERY 14.7 SECONDS. If that statistic scares you, think how we felt when we made it up.
Dave Barry - Do not under any circumstances ever take both a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry - Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave Barry - Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere. It is not mere coincidence that the first animal in space was a dog. It went up in a Russian satellite that was clearly never going to come back down, but the Russians didn't have to ask it twice. They just opened the satellite door and the dog bounded enthusiastically inside and blasted into space and spent 189 consecutive hours with its nose pressed against the porthole, barking violently at cosmic rays, until finally the Russians couldn't stand it anymore and turned off the radio receiver.
Dave Barry - Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
Dave Barry - Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry - Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave Barry - ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in *your* paper, *you* say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple s tories, you should major in English.
Dave Barry - 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
Dave Barry - Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.
Dave Barry - Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Dave Barry - For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry - For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot ("part of this complete breakfast").
Dave Barry - For those of you planning to travel by air, here are some amazing statistics about the U.S. airline industry (motto: Were Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour). This year, U.S. airlines will carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts. Yes, the airlines are cutting back on food service, as was dramatically demonstrated on a recent New York-to-London flight wherein nine first-class passengers were eaten by raiders from coach. But despite the cutbacks, the U.S. airline industry is still one of the safest on Earth; the only nation with a better safety record is the Republic of Kyrgyzstan, which has only one airplane and cant figure out how to start it.
Dave Barry - Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
Dave Barry - Gifts for Children --This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon -show advertisements. Make sure you get your children exactly what they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices. If your child thinks he wants Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you'd better get it. You may be worried that it might help to encourage your child's antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not get the right gift.
Dave Barry - Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Dave Barry - Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
Dave Barry - Haiti goes 36 straight hours without having a coup. The United Nations sends an inspection team to find out what's wrong.
Dave Barry - Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
Dave Barry - Heres my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he cant, he doesnt.
Dave Barry - Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Dave Barry - I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
Dave Barry - I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Dave Barry - I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
Dave Barry - I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Dave Barry - I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II."
Dave Barry - I could point out that, to judge from the covers of countless women's magazines, the two topics most interesting to women are (1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and (2) How to attract men.
Dave Barry - I disapprove of the F-word, not because it's dirty, but because we use it as a substitute for thoughtful insults, and it frequently leads to violence. What we ought to do, when we anger each other, say, in traffic, is exchange phone numbers, so that later on, when we've had time to think of witty and learned insults or look them up in the library, we could call each other up: You: Hello? Bob? Bob: Yes? You: This is Ed. Remember? The person whose parking space you took last Thursday? Outside of Sears? Bob: Oh yes! Sure! How are you, Ed? You: Fine, thanks. Listen, Bob, the reason I'm calling is: "Madam, you may be drunk, but I am ugly, and ..." No, wait. I mean: "you may be ugly, but I am Winston Churchill and ..." No, wait. (Sound of reference book thudding onto the floor.) S-word. Excuse me. Look, Bob, I'm going to have to get back to you. Bob: Fine.
Dave Barry - I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
Dave Barry - I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
Dave Barry - I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
Dave Barry - I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called "A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark".
Dave Barry - I like beer. On occasion I will even drink a beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that our refrigerator is still working.
Dave Barry - I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
Dave Barry - I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
Dave Barry - I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Dave Barry - I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Dave Barry - If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Dave Barry - If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry - If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Dave Barry - If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
Dave Barry - If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry - If you're apprehensive about flying, let me assure you, as a frequent flier, that few experiences are more enjoyable than being seven miles above the Earth's surface in a crowded aging piece of machinery held aloft by principles of physics that you do not even dimly grasp while giant invisible gravity rays pound relentlessly on the roof.
Dave Barry - I'm an experienced South Florida driver, and almost getting hit is *nothing*. It's routine. It happens *every day*. I'm so used to it that I don't even bother to honk at motorists who almost kill me. Generally it's a bad idea to honk down here anyway, inasmuch as the South Florida motoring public is as heavily armed as Iraq, but not as peace-loving.
Dave Barry - I'm sure most of you have seen the movie E.T., which is the story of an alien who almost dies when he falls into the clutches of the American medical-care establishment, but is saved by preadolescent boys. Everybody believes that the alien is a fake, a triumph of special effects. But watch the movie closely next time. The alien is real! The boys are fakes! Real preadolescent boys would have beaten the alien to death with rocks.
Dave Barry - In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
Dave Barry - In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
Dave Barry - In most nations, when people say "football", they mean "soccer", which is a completely different game in which smallish persons whiz about on a field while the spectators beat each other up and eventually overthrow the government. I don't know why the other nations call soccer "football," but I suspect it has something to do with the metric system and I say the hell with it.
Dave Barry - In summary, then, we see that, because of the location and nature of their respective organs, women tend to have a more serious, thoughtful, and responsible attitude towards relationships than men do. I realize this is an absurd generalization, but my feeling is that if we can't have absurd generalizations, we might as well not even bother to write books.
Dave Barry - In terms of appearance, hair is one of the most the most important features of a woman's entire body. In a recent poll, the Gallup organization asked 1,500 men what part of a woman they look at first, and they denied that they look at women at all, because their wives were standing right next to them. But they were lying. They definitely look at women, and one of the things they notice is hair. "Yes, that woman probably had hair," they'll say, if questioned.
Dave Barry - It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Dave Barry - It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.
Dave Barry - It is a proven scientific fact that video games are also corrupting American youth. In a recent experiment, scientific researchers exposed a group of teenage boys to an arcade game, and found that all of them had unclean sexual thoughts. Of course, the researchers got the same result when they exposed the boys to coleslaw, an alpaca sweater, and "The MacNeil-Lehrer Report," but that is beside the point. The point is that we should all write letters to our elected officials and urge them to ban video games.
Dave Barry - It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry - It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
Dave Barry - It is difficult to predict exactly what the doctor's bill for your pregnancy will be, because every situation is different. If your doctor's Mercedes-Benz is running well, he may charge you as little as $2,000; if there are complications, such as that he has been hearing a little ticking sound in the transmission lately, then he may be forced to charge you much more. It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.
Dave Barry - It seems that many years ago, there lived a lazy grasshopper and a hardworking ant. All summer long, while the ant was busily networking with other ants and gathering food, the grasshopper sat around drinking vodka gimlets and watching "General Hospital." When winter came, the grasshopper had nothing to eat, while the ant was snug and warm in his cozy little house filled with putrefying chunks of road-kill raccoon. Finally the grasshopper, starving, came to the ant's door and said, "Can I have some food?" And the ant said: "Well, I suppose GAACCKK," and they were both crushed by rocks dropped on them by Boy Scouts on a nature walk. This was a very poor financial decision, when you think how much money these boys could have gotten for a pair of talking insects.
Dave Barry - It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
Dave Barry - June 14: Eight concerned parents in rural Georgia sue the local school district for teaching their children the alphabet, which can be used to form dirty words.
Dave Barry - Keep in mind that it's a baby you're eating for. If you're going to eat for it, don't eat like an adult; eat like a baby. This doesn't mean you can't have Mallomars; it means you must hold them in your hands until the chocolate melts and then rub it into your hair and the sofa. If you eat at a restaurant, feel free to order that steak you crave, but have the waiter cut it into 650,000 tiny pieces and then refuse to touch them, preferring instead to chew and swallow the cocktail napkin and then throw up a little bit on your dress.
Dave Barry - Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Dave Barry - Like most Americans, I was thrilled to death last February when our wealthy yachting snots won the coveted America's Cup back from Australia's wealthy yachting snots.
Dave Barry - Like most people, I can always use an extra 7 or 8 million dollars, which is why today I have decided to write a blockbuster legal thriller. Americans buy legal thrillers by the ton. I was in many airports over the past few months, and I got the impression that aviation authorities were making this announcement over the public-address system: "FEDERAL REGULATIONS PROHIBIT YOU FROM BOARDING A PLANE UNLESS YOU ARE CARRYING 'THE CLIENT' BY JOHN GRISHAM." I mean, EVERYBODY had this book. ("This is the captain speaking. We'll be landing in Seattle instead of Detroit because I want to finish 'The Client."')
Dave Barry - Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Dave Barry - Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
Dave Barry - Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry - My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
Dave Barry - Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
Dave Barry - Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry - Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry - Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry - Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry - Nov. 24, 1987--The city of Cleveland, Ohio, announces that it has developed tactical nuclear weapons, and does not wish to hear any more jokes.
Dave Barry - On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays: fear.
Dave Barry - Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry - One big causal factor in the Revolution was that England operated under what political scientists describe as "The Insane Venereally Diseased Hunchbacked Homicidal King" system of government. This basically means that for some reason, again possibly the food, the English king always turned out to be a syphilitic hunchbacked lunatic whose basic solution to virtually all problems, including humidity, was to have somebody's head cut off.
Dave Barry - Our yard violates the No. 1 rule of yard design, which is: "Never locate your yard in South Florida." South Florida is smack dab in the middle of a permanent weather system that weather scientists call "The Big Armpit," meaning that it is hot and humid and prone to producing mutant growths. If you want biodiversity, hang around our yard, preferably with a flamethrower.
Dave Barry - People often ask me, "Dave, what's the biggest advantage of working at home, other than that you don't have to get dressed until 4:30 p.m., when the pizza-delivery person arrives with breakfast?
Dave Barry - People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry - PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.
Dave Barry - Poland has experienced a tremendous amount of history due to the fact that it has no natural defensible borders, which makes it very easy to conquer. Many times the other nations didn't even mean to invade Poland; one night they'd simply forget to set the parking brakes on their tanks, and they'd wake up the next morning to discover that, whoosh, they had conquered Poland.
Dave Barry - Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled animals have orgasms? The answer is yes, they have orgasms almost constantly, which is why they don't mind living in pools of warm slime.
Dave Barry - Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.
Dave Barry - Researchers wearing white laboratory coats filled a huge vat with Tab and dropped rats into it from a sixty-foot-high catwalk, and they noticed that most of the rats died, some before they even reached the vat. So the government banned the chemicals, but the diet-soda manufacturers immediately developed new ones, which also failed the vat test. At this point, the government realized that the manufacturers could come up with chemicals as fast as it could ban them, and that at the rate things were going the country would face a major rat shortage. So the government decided to let the manufacturers keep their chemicals, but it ordered them to put a little warning on diet-soft-drink containers that says: "Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk."
Dave Barry - Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry - Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. How long, traveling at top speed, will it take the cow to travel 360 feet?
Dave Barry - Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry - Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.
Dave Barry - Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Dave Barry - Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
Dave Barry - So the documentary-makers stick with sharks. Generally, their procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as to infest the waters. I would estimate that the primary food source of sharks today is bleeding fish pieces scattered by people making documentaries. Once the sharks arrive, they are generally fairly listless. The general shark attitude seems to be: "Oh God, another documentary." So the divers have to somehow goad them into attacking, under the guise of Scientific Research. "We know very little about the effect of electricity on sharks," the narrator will say, in a deeply scientific voice. "That is why Todd is going to jab this Great White in the testicles with a cattle prod." The divers keep this kind of thing up until the shark finally gets irritated and snaps at them, and then they act as though this was a totally unexpected and very dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along.
Dave Barry - Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say, "EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT" instead of "RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES."
Dave Barry - Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Dave Barry - That was the main reason why we wrote this book, aside from wanting to become so wealthy that we shall routinely leave motor yachts as tips. Tragically, many Americans know very little about the history of their own country. We constantly see surveys that reveal this ignorance, especially among our high school students, 78 percent of whom, in a recent nationwide multiple-choice test, identified Abraham Lincoln as "a kind of lobster." That's right: more than three quarters of our nation's youth could not correctly identify the man who invented the telephone.
Dave Barry - The computer is also a great teaching tool for young people. For example, my home computer has an educational program that enables you to control an entire simulated planet: its ecology, its technology, its weather, etc. My 10-year-old son and his friends use this program a lot, and we've all learned some important ecological lessons, the main one being: Never, ever put 10-year-old boys in charge of a planet ("Let's see what happens when you have volcanoes AND nuclear war!").
Dave Barry - The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
Dave Barry - The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry - The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you. But that is no reason to bypass this beautiful country, whose master chefs have a well-deserved worldwide reputation for trying to trick people into eating snails. Nobody is sure how this got started. Probably a couple of French master chefs were standing around one day, and they found a snail, and one of them said: "I bet that if we called this something like `escargot,' tourists would eat it." Then they had hearty laugh, because "escargot" is the French word for "fat crawling bag of phlegm."
Dave Barry - The human race has been fascinated by sharks for as long as I can remember. Just like the bluebird feeding its young, or the spider struggling to weave its perfect web, or the buttercup blooming in spring, the shark reveals to us yet another of the infinite and wonderful facets of nature, namely the facet that it can bite your head off. This causes us humans to feel a certain degree of awe.
Dave Barry - The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
Dave Barry - The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Dave Barry - The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
Dave Barry - The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry - The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
Dave Barry - The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
Dave Barry - The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry - The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
Dave Barry - The only problem with disposable diapers is that they are starting to overflow the world's refuse-disposal facilities; scientists now predict that if the present trend continues, by the year 1997 the entire planet will smell like the men's room in a bar frequented by motorcycle gangs. But this is not really as serious as it sounds, because scientists also believe that several years before 1997 the polar ice caps are going to melt. Also, we could always have a nuclear war. So I would definitely go with the disposable diapers.
Dave Barry - The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
Dave Barry - The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry - The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
Dave Barry - The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
Dave Barry - The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skills to construct ruins all over Europe. The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar.
Dave Barry - The sensible way to ask a girl out is to walk directly up to her on foot and say, "So, you want to go out? Or what?" I never did this. I knew that there was always the possibility that the girl would say no, thereby leaving me with no viable option but to leave Harold C. Crittenden Junior High school Forever and go into the woods and become a bark-eating hermit whose only companions would be the gentle and understanding woodland creatures. "Hey, *Zitface*!" the woodland creatures would shriek in cute little Chip 'n' Dale voices while raining acorns down upon my head. "You wanna *date?* Hahahahahahahahah."
Dave Barry - The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Dave Barry - The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Dave Barry - The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Dave Barry - The Watergate Scandal, which gets its name from the fact that it was a scandal, began with a breakin of the Democratic National Committee headquarters by a group of burglars so ludicrously incompetent that they obviously had to have some connection with the federal government.
Dave Barry - The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom."
Dave Barry - The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
Dave Barry - The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Dave Barry - There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
Dave Barry - There is only one problem: the aliens have terrible taste. They love game shows, soap operas, Howard Cosell, and "Dallas". Whenever a network tries to take one of these shows off the air, the aliens threaten to vaporize the planet. You know the Wisk commercial, the one with the ring around the collar, the one that is so spectacularly stupid that it makes you wonder why anybody would dream of buying the product? Well, the aliens love that commercial. We all owe a debt of gratitude to the people who make Wisk. They have not sold a single bottle of Wisk in fourteen years, but they have saved the Earth.
Dave Barry - This is very bad for the United States. Look at what happened to Great Britain. At one time, there was no Wonderbra, and Great Britain ruled the richest and most powerful empire on Earth. Now, there is a Wonderbra, and Great Britain is a pathetic, shrunken nation with an economy based almost entirely on selling blurred photographs of Princess Diana working out. Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. What can we do about this threat? A nuclear strike against Great Britain would probably be overreacting at this point.
Dave Barry - Thus it was that the Vikings set off across the Atlantic in approximately the year 867--on October 8--to (a) try to locate North America and (b) see if it was flammable. Did these hardy adventurers reach the New World centuries before Columbus? More and more, historians argue that they did, because this would result in a new national holiday, which a lot of historians would get off.
Dave Barry - Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry - To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Dave Barry - To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
Dave Barry - To understand the importance of financial planning for your retirement years, let's consider the famous true Aesop's fable about the grasshopper and the ant.
Dave Barry - Today's man knows that he's supposed to be a sensitive and caring relationship partner, and he's making radical life-style changes such as sometimes remembering to remove the used tissue wads from his pockets before depositing his pants on the floor to be picked up by the Laundry Fairy.
Dave Barry - Turbulence: This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, "Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence." Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water buffalo organs off the windshield.
Dave Barry - Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
Dave Barry - We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
Dave Barry - We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Dave Barry - We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
Dave Barry - We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Dave Barry - We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
Dave Barry - WEEK 10: The fetus is almost 12 millipedes in longitude and has a prehensile tail and wings. It will probably lose these things before it is born.
Dave Barry - WEEK 20: The fetus measures 4 on the Richter scale and is perusing mail-order catalogs from the Fisher-Price company.
Dave Barry - WEEK 5: The fetus is only 6.7 liters in circumference yet has already developed the ability to shriek in airplanes.
Dave Barry - WEEKS 30-40: The fetus is on vacation.
Dave Barry - We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
Dave Barry - What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
Dave Barry - What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry - What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry - What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space- launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, during which it just remains 7 a.m. This way we could all wake up via a civilized gradual process of stretching and belching and scratching, and it would still be only 7 a.m. when we were ready to actually emerge from bed.
Dave Barry - What you're talking about is assassination, which is a serious violation of international rules. On the other hand, it is perfetly OK to drop large quantities of bombs on a foreign country, as long as you are not specifically trying to drop one on the foreign leader, which would of course under the rules would be assassination. (These rules are made by lawyers.) The rules also state that, when you drop your bombs, you are supposed to try to gain a Consensus of World Opinion, which is legally defined as 'at least four nations that know how to make a decent car, plus, if he is not off somewhere building a house, Jimmy Carter.'
Dave Barry - Without my eyeglasses, I have a great deal of trouble distinguishing between house fires and beer signs.
Dave Barry - Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry - You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Dave Barry - You must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must also remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.
Dave Barry - You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.
Dave Barry - Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Dave Barry (Miami Herald) - Males have a lot of trouble not looking at breasts. What is worse, males cannot look at breasts and think at the same time. In fact, scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. This was proved in a famous 1978 laboratory experiment wherein a team of leading male psychological researchers at Yale deliberately looked at photographs of breasts every day for two years, at the end of which they concluded that they had failed to take any notes. "We forgot," they said. "We'll have to do it over."
Dave Edison - I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Dave Letterman - USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Dave Winer - I looked up 'standard' in the dictionary. There are eleven different definitions.
David Frost - He turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
David Gelernter - Beauty is more important in computing than anywhere else in technology because software is so complicated. Beauty is the ultimate defence against complexity.
David Hilbert - A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street.
David Hilbert - Galileo was no idiot. Only an idiot could believe that science requires martyrdom -- that may be necessary in religion, but in time a scientific result will establish itself.
David Hilbert - He who seeks for methods without having a definite problem in mind seeks in the most part in vain.
David Hilbert - How thoroughly it is ingrained in mathematical science that every real advance goes hand in hand with the invention of sharper tools and simpler methods which, at the same time, assist in understanding earlier theories and in casting aside some more complicated developments.
David Hilbert - If I were to awaken after having slept for a thousand years, my first question would be: Has the Riemann hypothesis been proven?
David Hilbert - If one were to bring ten of the wisest men in the world together and ask them what was the most stupid thing in existence, they would not be able to discover anything so stupid as astrology.
David Hilbert - Mathematical science is in my opinion an indivisible whole, an organism whose vitality is conditioned upon the connection of its parts.
David Hilbert - Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper.
David Hilbert - Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries; for mathematics, the cultural world is one country.
David Hilbert - No one shall expel us from the paradise that Cantor has created for us.
David Hilbert - No other question has ever moved so profoundly the spirit of man; no other idea has so fruitfully stimulated his intellect; yet no other concept stands in greater need of clarification than that of the infinite.
David Hilbert - One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it.
David Hilbert - Physics is becoming too difficult for the physicists.
David Hilbert - The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.
David Hilbert - The further a mathematical theory is developed, the more harmoniously and uniformly does its construction proceed, and unsuspected relations are disclosed between hitherto separated branches of the science.
David Hilbert - The infinite! No other question has ever moved so profoundly the spirit of man.
David Letterman - Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David Letterman - I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
David Letterman - Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. In the morning I looked in the pantry and discovered that my giant marshmallow was gone.
David Letterman - New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
David Letterman - Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
David Lloyd George (1863-1945) - Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
David O. McKay 1967 - The greatest battle of life is fought within the silent chambers of your own soul. It is a good thing to sit down and commune with yourself, to come to an understanding with yourself and decide in that silent moment what your duty is to your family, to your Church, to your country, and . . . to your fellowmen
David Randolph - The kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6.20.
David Shayer - Vinnie is exactly right.
Dean Martin - You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Decca Recording Co. - We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. (rejecting the Beatles, 1962)
Denis Leary - "Everyone should have an evil secret plan..."
Denis Waitley - Chase your passion, not your pension.
Dennis DeBruler - Computer science is the discipline that believes all problems can be solved with one more layer of indirection.
Dennis Fakes - Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble.
Dennis Miller - And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Denny McDonough - There's not a whole lot of new atoms out there.
Deon Ramsey - You need the computing power of a P5, 16 MB RAM and 1 GB harddisk to run Win95. It took the computing power of approx 3 Commodor 64 to fly to the moon. Something is wrong here, and it wasn't the Apollo.
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina - "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Derwood Fincher - Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse!
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan - "Stop: Drive Sideways."
Diablo (www.goats.com) - On tonights show we'll also find out if the second amendment protects the rights of cows to carry short range tactical nuclear weapons...
Diana, Princess of Wales, 1984 - If men had to have babies, they would only ever have one each.
Dick Butkus - When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately...unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.
Dick Cavett - If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Dick Cavett - It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Dick Cavett - There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- mocking the TV-violence debate
Dijkstra - Computer science has about as much to do with computers as astronomy does with telescopes.
Diogenes - No man is hurt but by himself.
Dion Fanning - Give an eight-year old, a bouncer, or a journalist a walkie-talkie and pretty soon scenes from Where Eagles Dare will be re-enated. That was the world we inhabited on Wednesday night.
Doctrine and Covenants 10:5 - Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.
Don Drysdale - When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw your taxes.
Don Henley - I want my daughter to grow up around all those conservatives so she'll know how to rebel properly.
Don Quixote - Facts are the enemy of truth.
Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King - The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.
Doris Day (1924-) - The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
Dorothy Nevell - "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
Dorothy Parker - His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker - On birth: Congratulations. We all knew you had it in you.
Doug Gwyn - UNIX was not designed to stop its users from doing stupid things, as that would also stop them from doing clever things.
Doug Larson - Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Doug Larson - If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
Dougie Franklin ("The Red Green Show) - In my experience, women don't play hard to get, they are hard to get.
Douglas Adams - A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams - I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams - It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto nonexistent blindingly obvious. The cry "I could have thought of that" is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
Douglas Adams - Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.
Douglas MacArthur - Americans never quit.
Douglas MacArthur - There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity.
Dr. David M. Burns - Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
Dr. Denis Waitley - There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
Dr. Frederick Tilney (French brain specialist) - We will by conscious command evolve cerebral centers which will permit us to use powers that we now are not even capable of imagining.
Dr. Jerome Brunner - We are only now on the threshold of knowing the range of the educability of man-the perfectibility of man. We have never addressed ourselves to this problem before.
Dr. Johnny Fever - When everyone is out to get you, paranoia is only good thinking.
Dr. Loretta Scott - We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
Dr. Melba Colgrove - Anything that's worth having is worth asking for. Some say yes and some say no.
Dr. Robert Anthony - We fear the thing we want the most.
Drew Carey - Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey - Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good.
Drew's Law of Highway Biology - The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
Ducharm's Axiom - If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Dudley Moore - The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Duffy Daugherty - "Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand." (football coach and sports analyst)
Duguet - The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.
Duke Ellington - A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) -- When you appeal to force, there's one thing you must never do -- lose.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953 - A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Dwight Eisenhower - No easy problems ever come to the President of the United States. If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them.
Dylan Thomas - Do Not Go Quietly Into The Night, Rage, Rage, Rage, Against The Dying Of The Light.
e e cummings - Hate bounces.
e e cummings - I feel that a poem 'means' differently for each individual who encounters it; but which (if any) of its 'meanings' deserves to be called the 'real' one, I don't know. All I can even try to tell you is what this poem means so far as I'm concerned.
E E Cummings (1894-1962) - I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
E. M. Cioran - It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late. (The Trouble with Being Born, 1973)
E. Shaw - There is nothing that keeps a woman on the straight and narrow so much as being made that way.
E. V. Lucas, 365 Days and One More - One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.
E. W. Dijkstra - the computing scientist's main challenge is not to get confused by the complexities of his own making
E.C. McKenzie - In the language of flowers the yellow rose means friendship, the red rose means love, and the orchid means business.
Earl Mac Rauch - And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
Earl Nightingale - Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.
Earl of Chesterfield - The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous and the expense damnable.
Earl Winston - If you look like your passport photo, in all probability, you need the journey.
EB White, "A Subtreasury of American Humor" - Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog few people are interested, and the frog dies.
EBS - This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
Ecclesiastes 3:13 - And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.
Eckhart Tolle - Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.
Ed Byrne - "Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?" "I was sober."
Ed Frid (The Red Green Show) - Animals can smell fear. But they can taste fingers.
Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict - You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.
Edain McCoy - "If someone gives you a spell you can make successful magick once. If someone shows you how to analyze spell structure and to construct your own spells, you not only can make magick forever, but you will become magick as well."
Eddie Izzard - Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard - I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard - I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
Eddie Izzard - I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard - If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard - I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard - MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard - Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard - So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard - They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard - You know, Catholicism, we believed in the teachings of Cathol, and everything it stood for.
Eddie Van Halen - Some people think a song without words isn't a real song. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass!
Edgar Allan Poe - "All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream."
Edgar Allan Poe - The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true.
Edgar Allan Poe - Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.
Edgar Watson Howe - No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) -- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
Edith Zittler - The only way to stop smoking is to just stop -- no ifs, ands or butts.' Milton Berle -- The other night I said to my wife Ruth, 'Do you feel that the sex and excitement has gone out of our marriage?' Ruth said, 'I'll discuss it with you during the next commercial.
Edmont de Concourt - A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.
Edmund Burke - "No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear."
Edmund Burke (1729-1797) - The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edna St. Vincent Millay - It is not true that life is one damn thing after anouther--it is one damn thing over and over
Edsgar Dijkstra - "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
Edward Albee - A play is fiction -- and fiction is fact distilled into truth.
Edward Albee - American critics are like American universities. They both have dull and half-dead faculties.
Edward Albee - Good writers define reality; bad ones merely restate it. A good writer turns fact into truth; a bad writer will, more often than not, accomplish the opposite.
Edward Albee - I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
Edward Albee - I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.
Edward Albee - If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.
Edward Albee - I'm not suggesting that the play is without fault; all of my plays are imperfect, I'm rather happy to say-it leaves me something to do.
Edward Albee - One must let the play happen to one; one must let the mind loose to respond as it will, to receive impressions, to sense rather than know, to gather rather than immediately understand.
Edward Albee - Remember one thing about democracy. We can have anything we want and at the same time, we always end up with exactly what we deserve.
Edward Albee - Sometimes a person has to go a very long distance out of his way to come back a short distance correctly.
Edward Albee - Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.
Edward Albee - The difference between critics and audiences is that one is a group of humans and one is not.
Edward Albee - The thing that makes a creative person is to be creative and that is all there is to it.
Edward Albee - What people really want in the theater is fantasy involvement and not reality involvement.
Edward Albee - You gotta have swine to show you where the truffles are.
Edward Albee - Your source material is the people you know, not those you don't know, but every character is an extension of the author's own personality.
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) - Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Edward Holden, on in-flight use of electronic devices - An hour into flight, I discover the computer is on and the battery is 80% used. This is irritating (!) and perhaps dangerous, although none of my flights has crashed.
Edward Nogs Westcroft - They say a reasonable number of fleas is good for a dog -- keeps him from brooding over being a dog.
Edward VIII, 1957 - The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. (Look)
ee cummings - "To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best night and day to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle anyone can fight and never stop fighting."
Elanor Doan - Love your enemy -- it will drive him nuts.
Elayne Boolser - When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Elbert Hubbard - An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy to be called an idea at all.
Elbert Hubbard - Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Elbert Hubbard - One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
Elbert Hubbard - Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) - "Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Elder F. Burton Howard - "Anyone can persevere. Anyone can work hard. Perseverance and effort make the difference both in getting into a job or into a marriage and getting the most out of [each] one. Any wishful thinking to the contrary won't change things."
Elder Richard L. Evans - To find peacethe peace within, the peace that passeth understandingmen must live in honesty, honoring each other, honoring obligations, working willingly, loving and cherishing loved ones, serving and considering others, with patience, with virtue, with faith and forbearance, with the assurance that life is for learning, for serving, for repenting, and improving. And God be thanked for the blessed principle of repenting and improving, which is a way that is open to us all.
Eleanor Roosevelt - "You must do the things you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt - The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Elie Wiesel - Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself.
Elizabeth Ashley - In a great romance, each person basically plays a part that the other really likes.
Elizabeth Ashley - In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
Elizabeth Bibesco - Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting
Elizabeth Lawrence - Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.
Ellen DeGeneres - You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen Parr - The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
Elvis Presley - I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
Emile Zola (1840-1902) - The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Emily Dickinson - The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.
Emily Dickinson - We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies.
Emily Dickinson - We never know how high we are/Till we are called to rise/And then, if we are true to plan,/Our statures touch the skies.
Emma Goldman - If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
Emma Speares - Two's company, three's crossfire.
Emo Philips - I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.
Emo Philips - My friends would copulate with anything that moved but I never saw reason to limit myself.
Emo Philips - My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading.
eneral Colin - Powell's Rules: 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done! 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
English Proverb - Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
English Proverb - They are not all saints who use holy water.
Epictetus (55 AD-135 AD) - If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.' When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.
Eric Hoffer - Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
Erik Naggum - it's not that perl programmers are idiots, it's that the language rewards idiotic behavior in a way that no other language or tool has ever done
Erma Brombeck - My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Ernest Benn (attributed to) - Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
Ernest Dimnet - Ideas are the root of creation.
Ernest Hemingway - Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway - An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway - Never mistake motion for action.
Ernest Hemmingway - An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.
Ernest L. Woodward - So great has been the endurance, so incredible the achievement, that, as long as the sun keeps a set course in heaven, it would be foolish to despair of the human race.
Ernest Rutherford - All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
Ernesto"Che"Guevara - Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Errol Flynn - My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Ethiopian proverb - Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank Him for not having given it wings.
Eugene Ionesco - It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
Eugenio Montale - Man cannot produce a single work without the assistance of the slow, assiduous, corrosive worm of thought.
Euripides - A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
Euripides - Circumstances rule men and not men rule circumstances.
Euripides - Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
Euripides - Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides - I have found power in the mysteries of thought, exaltation in the changing of the Muses; I have been versed in the reasonings of men; but Fate is stronger than anything I have known.
Euripides - In case of dissension, never dare to judge till you've heard the other side.
Euripides - In this world second thoughts, it seems, are best.
Euripides - Light be the earth upon you, lightly rest.
Euripides - Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
Euripides - My tongue swore, but my mind was still unpledged.
Euripides - Never say that marriage has more of joy than pain.
Euripides - Short is the joy that guilty pleasure brings.
Euripides - Slight not what's near, while aiming at what's far.
Euripides - Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides - The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.
Euripides - The company of just and righteous men is better than wealth and a rich estate.
Euripides - The wisest men follow their own direction.
Euripides - Time cancels young pain.
Euripides - Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks.
Euripides - Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
Euripides - When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.
Euripides - Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
Euripides - You were a stranger to sorrow: therefore Fate has cursed you.
Euripides - Your very silence shows you agree.
Euripides, 413 B.C. - I care for riches, to make gifts To friends, or lead a sick man back to health With ease and plenty. Else small aid is wealth For daily gladness; once a man be done With hunger, rich and poor are all as one.
Euripides, 438 B.C. - I have found power in the mysteries of thought.
Evil (Time Bandits) - Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intellect.
F. P. Jones - Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald - Either you think-or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you.
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The test of a first-fate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
F.P. Jones - Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Faisal N. Jawdat - Duality: it's not just for breakfast, lunch, and dinner any more.
Father Larry Lorenzoni - The average person thinks he isn't.
Fitz McKinzie - Before I started working here I drank, smoked, and used foul language for no reason at all. But thanks to this job, I now have a reason.
Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964) - Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964) - There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Fletcher Knebel - Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics
Flon's Law - There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
Florence King - It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.
Fortune Cookie - A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.
Fortune Cookie - You may be recognized soon. Hide.
Fortune Cookie - You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
Fortune Cookie - You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Fortune Cookie - You will be surprised by a loud noise.
Fortune Cookie - You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
Founder of Forbes Magazine - You'll make more money selling the advice than following the advice. ...
Fran Lebowitz - Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz - Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz - Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz - My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz - Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Francis Bacon - A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.
Francis Bacon - A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion.
Francis Bacon - A man must make his opportunity, as oft as find it.
Francis Bacon - A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
Francis Bacon - A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.
Francis Bacon - A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.
Francis Bacon - A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Francis Bacon - Acorns were good until bread was found.
Francis Bacon - Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
Francis Bacon - Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
Francis Bacon - Antiquities are history defaced, or some remnants of history which have casually escaped the shipwreck of time.
Francis Bacon - As the births of living creatures are at first ill-shapen, so are all innovations, which are the births of time.
Francis Bacon - Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the Infinite.
Francis Bacon - But men must know, that in this theatre of man's life it is reserved only for God and angels to be lookers on.
Francis Bacon - By indignities men come to dignities.
Francis Bacon - Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried, or childless men.
Francis Bacon - Children sweeten labours, but they make misfortunes more bitter.
Francis Bacon - Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
Francis Bacon - Discretion of speech is more than eloquence, and to speak agreeably to him with whom we deal is more than to speak in good words, or in good order.
Francis Bacon - Fame is like a river, that beareth up things light and swollen, and drowns things weighty and solid.
Francis Bacon - Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.
Francis Bacon - For also knowledge itself is power.
Francis Bacon - For my name and memory I leave to men's charitable speeches, and to foreign nations and the next ages.
Francis Bacon - Fortitude is the marshal of thought, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason.
Francis Bacon - Fortune is like the market, where, many times, if you can stay a little, the price will fall.
Francis Bacon - Friends are thieves of time.
Francis Bacon - Friendship increases in visiting friends, but in visiting them seldom.
Francis Bacon - God Almighty first planted a garden. And indeed, it is the purest of human pleasures.
Francis Bacon - God hangs the greatest weights upon the smallest wires.
Francis Bacon - God has placed no limits to the exercise of the intellect he has given us, on this side of the grave.
Francis Bacon - God's first creature, which was light.
Francis Bacon - Good fame is like fire; when you have kindled you may easily preserve it; but if you extinguish it, you will not easily kindle it again.
Francis Bacon - He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.
Francis Bacon - He that hath knowledge spareth his words.
Francis Bacon - He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Francis Bacon - He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator.
Francis Bacon - Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
Francis Bacon - Houses are built to live in, and not to look on: therefore let use be preferred before uniformity.
Francis Bacon - I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke of death.
Francis Bacon - I had rather believe all the Fables in the Legend, and the Talmud, and the Alcoran, than that this universal frame is without a Mind.
Francis Bacon - I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Francis Bacon - If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.
Francis Bacon - If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.
Francis Bacon - If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics.
Francis Bacon - If we do not maintain justice, justice will not maintain us.
Francis Bacon - Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
Francis Bacon - In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Francis Bacon - In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.
Francis Bacon - It is a strange desire, to seek power, and to lose liberty; or to seek power over others, and to lose power over a man's self.
Francis Bacon - It is as hard and severe a thing to be a true politician as to be truly moral.
Francis Bacon - It is as natural to die as to be born; and to a little infant, perhaps, the one is as painful as the other.
Francis Bacon - It is impossible to love and to be wise.
Francis Bacon - It is in life as it is in ways, the shortest way is commonly the foulest, and surely the fairer way is not much about.
Francis Bacon - It is natural to die as to be born.
Francis Bacon - Judges must beware of hard constructions and strained inferences, for there is no worse torture than that of laws.
Francis Bacon - Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised than confident. Above all things, integrity is their portion and proper virtue.
Francis Bacon - Knowledge and human power are synonymous.
Francis Bacon - Knowledge is power.
Francis Bacon - Lies are sufficient to breed opinion, and opinion brings on substance.
Francis Bacon - Life, an age to the miserable, and a moment to the happy.
Francis Bacon - Many a man's strength is in opposition, and when he faileth, he grows out of use.
Francis Bacon - Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.
Francis Bacon - Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.
Francis Bacon - Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience.
Francis Bacon - Nature is often hidden, sometimes overcome, seldom extinguished.
Francis Bacon - Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Francis Bacon - Next to religion, let your care be to promote justice.
Francis Bacon - Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise.
Francis Bacon - Nothing is pleasant that is not spiced with variety.
Francis Bacon - Of all virtues and dignities of the mind, goodness is the greatest, being the character of the Deity; and without it, man is a busy, mischievous, wretched thing.
Francis Bacon - Opportunity makes a thief.
Francis Bacon - People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.
Francis Bacon - People usually think according to their inclinations, speak according to their learning and ingrained opinions, but generally act according to custom.
Francis Bacon - Pictures and shapes are but secondary objects and please or displease only in the memory.
Francis Bacon - Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes; adversity not without many comforts and hopes.
Francis Bacon - Prosperity is the blessing of the Old Testament; adversity is the blessing of the New.
Francis Bacon - Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted... but to weigh and consider.
Francis Bacon - Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.
Francis Bacon - Rebellions of the belly are the worst.
Francis Bacon - Revenge is a kind of wild justice, which the more a man's nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out.
Francis Bacon - Riches are a good hand maiden, but a poor mistress.
Francis Bacon - Science is but an image of the truth.
Francis Bacon - Seek ye first the good things of the mind, and the rest will either be supplied or its loss will not be felt.
Francis Bacon - Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.
Francis Bacon - Silence is the virtue of fools.
Francis Bacon - Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God.
Francis Bacon - Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.
Francis Bacon - Studies perfect nature and are perfected still by experience.
Francis Bacon - Studies serve for delight, for ornaments, and for ability.
Francis Bacon - The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.
Francis Bacon - The correlative to loving our neighbors as ourselves is hating ourselves as we hate our neighbors.
Francis Bacon - The desire of excessive power caused the angels to fall; the desire of knowledge caused men to fall.
Francis Bacon - The fortune which nobody sees makes a person happy and unenvied.
Francis Bacon - The genius, wit, and the spirit of a nation are discovered by their proverbs.
Francis Bacon - The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
Francis Bacon - The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery.
Francis Bacon - The joys of parents are secret, and so are their grieves and fears.
Francis Bacon - The momentous thing in human life is the art of winning the soul to good or evil.
Francis Bacon - The pencil of the Holy Ghost hath labored more in describing the afflictions of Job than the felicities of Solomon.
Francis Bacon - The place of justice is a hallowed place.
Francis Bacon - The remedy is worse than the disease.
Francis Bacon - The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.
Francis Bacon - The subtlety of nature is greater many times over than the subtlety of the senses and understanding.
Francis Bacon - The way of fortune is like the milkyway in the sky; which is a number of small stars, not seen asunder, but giving light together: so it is a number of little and scarce discerned virtues, or rather faculties and customs, that make men fortunate.
Francis Bacon - The worst men often give the best advice.
Francis Bacon - The worst solitude is to have no real friendships.
Francis Bacon - There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.
Francis Bacon - There is a wisdom in this beyond the rules of physic: a man's own observation what he finds good of and what he finds hurt of is the best physic to preserve health.
Francis Bacon - There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between the counsel of a friend and of a flatterer. For there is no such flatterer as is a man's self.
Francis Bacon - There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying.
Francis Bacon - There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
Francis Bacon - There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little.
Francis Bacon - Therefore if a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible.
Francis Bacon - They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea.
Francis Bacon - They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Francis Bacon - They that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils.
Francis Bacon - Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.
Francis Bacon - This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.
Francis Bacon - Travel, in the younger sort, is a part of education; in the elder, a part of experience.
Francis Bacon - Truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion.
Francis Bacon - Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out.
Francis Bacon - Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible.
Francis Bacon - Truth is the daughter of time, not of authority.
Francis Bacon - Virtue is like a rich stone, best plain set.
Francis Bacon - We are much beholden to Machiavel and others, that write what men do, and not what they ought to do.
Francis Bacon - We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
Francis Bacon - What is truth? said jesting Pilate; and would not stay for an answer.
Francis Bacon - When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.
Francis Bacon - Who ever is out of patience is out of possession of their soul.
Francis Bacon - Who questions much, shall learn much, and retain much.
Francis Bacon - Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.
Francis Bacon - Wise men make more opportunities than they find.
Francis Bacon - With a gentleman I am always a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.
Francis Bacon - Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.
Francis Bacon - Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.
Francis Bacon - Young people are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and more fit for new projects than for settled business.
Francis Quarles (1592-1644) - Read not books alone, but men, and amongst them chiefly thyself. If thou find anything questionable there, use the commentary of a severe friend rather than the gloss of a sweet lipped flatterer; there is more profit in a distasteful truth than in deceitful sweetness.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Few are agreeable in conversation, because each thinks more of what he intends to say than of what others are saying, and listens no more when he himself has a chance to speak.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld - Few things are impracticable in themselves; and it is for want of application, rather than of means, that men fail to succeed.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Hypocrisy is the homage which vice pays to virtue.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion to certainty.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Many people despise wealth, but few know how to give it away.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld - No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld - Nothing is less sincere than our mode of asking and giving advice. He who asks seems to have a deference for the opinion of his friend, while he only aims to get approval of his own and make his friend responsible for his action. And he who gives advice repays the confidence supposed to be placed in him by a seemingly disinterested zeal, while he seldom means anything by his advice but his own interest or reputation.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - One cannot answer for his courage when he has never been in danger.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Our repentance is not so much regret for the ill we have done as fear of the ill that may happen to us in consequence.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The defects and faults in the mind are like wounds in the body. After all imaginable care has been taken to heal them up, still there will be a scar left behind.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The passions are the only orators that always persuade.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The passions often engender their contraries.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - The pleasure of love is in loving.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We should manage our fortunes as we do our health -- enjoy it when good, be patient when it is bad, and never apply violent remedies except in an extreme necessity.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - We should often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood our motives.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld - What seems to be generosity is often no more than disguised ambition, which overlooks a small interest in order to secure a great one.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld - When we are unable to find tranquillity within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld - Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) - Small minds are much distressed by little things. Great minds see them all but are not upset by them.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Maximes (1678) - We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 - However brilliant an action, it should not be esteemed great unless the result of a great motive.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 - It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.
Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917) - I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. (when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues)
Francoise Sagan - A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
Frank Crane - You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.
Frank Lloyd Wright - A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Frank Lloyd Wright - TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) - I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) - The truth is more important than the facts.
Frank Muir - It has been said that many a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Altar. Hymn
Frank Sinatra - I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Zappa - Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Frank Zappa - There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Frank Zappa - Without deviation progress is not possible.
Frank Zappa - Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Frank Zappa - You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Franklin D. Roosevelt - It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
Franois de La Rochefoucauld - Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.
Franois de La Rochefoucauld - Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.
Franois de La Rochefoucauld - There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness.
Franois de La Rochefoucauld - We always love those who admire us; we do not always love those whom we admire.
Franz Kafka - A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a 'brief'
Fred Allen - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen - If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard -- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen (1894-1956) - Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Frederick (II) the Great - I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Frederick Locker-Lampson - The world's as ugly as sin, And almost as delightful
Fredrick Wilcox - Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base.
Freidrich Nietzsche - Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Friedrich Engels - An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory
Friedrich Nietzsche - Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche - Without music life would be a mistake
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) - If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) - Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) - Woman was God's second mistake.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra - "One should hold fast one's heart; for when one letteth it go, how quickly doth one's head run away!"
Frisbeeterianism - Frisbeeterianism, n.: Worship of Frisbees. Doctrine teaches that when you die, your soul goes on top of the garage and you can't get it down.
Fritz Perls - Anxiety is the space between the "now" and the "then."
Fritz Reiner - Watch out for emergencies. They are your big chance!
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
From the Soviet Weekly - "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
Fulton J. Sheen - Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
G Patrick - She was one of those women who go through life demanding to see the manager.
G. B. Burgin - It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
G. K. Chesterton - "My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober."
G. K. Chesterton - A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
G. K. Chesterton - All slang is a metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry.
G. K. Chesterton - An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
G. K. Chesterton - Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
G. K. Chesterton - But a somewhat more liberal and sympathetic examination of mankind will convince us that the cross is even older than the gibbet, that voluntary suffering was before and independent of compulsory; and in short that in most important matters a man has always been free to ruin himself if he chose.
G. K. Chesterton - By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece.
G. K. Chesterton - Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.
G. K. Chesterton - Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.
G. K. Chesterton - He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical.
G. K. Chesterton - I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
G. K. Chesterton - I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.
G. K. Chesterton - I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
G. K. Chesterton - I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it.
G. K. Chesterton - If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.
G. K. Chesterton - It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong.
G. K. Chesterton - It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
G. K. Chesterton - Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.
G. K. Chesterton - Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.
G. K. Chesterton - Man seems to be capable of great virtues but not of small virtues; capable of defying his torturer but not of keeping his temper.
G. K. Chesterton - Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
G. K. Chesterton - Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
G. K. Chesterton - The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
G. K. Chesterton - The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
G. K. Chesterton - The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
G. K. Chesterton - The people who are the most bigoted are the people who have no convictions at all.
G. K. Chesterton - The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.
G. K. Chesterton - The rich are the scum of the earth in every country.
G. K. Chesterton - The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
G. K. Chesterton - The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
G. K. Chesterton - There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
G. K. Chesterton - There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
G. K. Chesterton - There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.
G. K. Chesterton - To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
G. K. Chesterton - Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.
G. K. Chesterton - You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
G. M. Trevelyan - Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
G.K. Chesterton - The world will never starve for want of wonders, but for want of wander.
Gael Boardman - You can't aim a duck to death.
Gael Boardman - You will get good attention and people will be more inclined to listen to you if you can make a statement whereby their response is, "No Shit!" or at least, "No kidding!"
Gail Godwin - Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Galileo Galilei - I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Gallagher - Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it don't work.
Garfield - Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.
Garry Shandling - My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Gary Larson, "The Far Side" - By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry' ...
Gary Numan - I want them to play Britney Spears at my funeral. This way I won't feel so bad about being dead, and everyone there will know there is something worse than Death.
Gary Zukav - Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. what we take to be true is our reality.
Gary Zukav Reality - is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. what we take to be true is our reality.
Gear Daddies - I swear, I'm gonna change. Just not today.
Geek with a .45 - In a truly civil society peopled primarily by enlightened, sober individuals, the carriage of arms might be deemed gratuitous, but it is nonetheless harmless. "In a society that measures up to anything less than that, the option to carry arms is a necessity.
Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. - If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. - Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970) - "What do you take me for, an idiot?" -- when a journalist asked him if he was happy
General Colin Powell - Experts often possess more data than judgment.
General Colin Powell - General Colin Powell's Rules: 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done! 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
General Colin Powell - You don't know what you can get away with until you try.
General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) - We are not retreating -- we are advancing in another Direction.
General George Patton (1885-1945) - The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
General George S. Patton - A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
General George S. Patton (1885-1945) - If a man does his best, what else is there?
georbit - There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799) - Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
George Bernard Shaw - Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. The Showing-Up of Blanco Posnet, 1911
George Bernard Shaw - If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw - It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw - Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.
George Bernard Shaw - Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
George Bernard Shaw - The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw - The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.
George Bernard Shaw - There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) - "There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) - If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) - Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) - The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) - There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
George Burns - "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
George Burns - "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns - "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
George Burns - Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can never remember if it is the thirteenth or fourteenth."
George Burns - Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns - By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
George Burns - Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
George Burns - First of all you've got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did.
George Burns - For thirty years my act consisted of one joke...and then she died.
George Burns - Happiness is a good martini, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman . . . or a bad woman, depending on how much happiness you can stand.
George Burns - Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city.
George Burns - I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
George Burns - I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns - I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns - I personally stay away from all health foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get!
George Burns - I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns - If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.
George Burns - It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns - Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns - Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns - Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
George Burns - There are two kinds of cruises -- pleasure and with children.
George Burns - There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
George Burns - Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns - You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Bush - "I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush - "It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
George Carlin - "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
George Carlin - A day off is always more welcome when it's unexpected.
George Carlin - Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.
George Carlin - Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin - Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
George Carlin - George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin - Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
George Carlin - I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.
George Carlin - I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.
George Carlin - I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin - I like Florida. Everything is in the eighties. The temperatures, the ages, and the IQs.
George Carlin - I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.
George Carlin - I never watch Sesame Street. I already know most of that stuff.
George Carlin - I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin - I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.
George Carlin - If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
George Carlin - If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin - If Frank Sinatra owed you a favor, you should ask him to have one of his buddies kill Andy Williams.
George Carlin - If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
George Carlin - If you mail a letter to the post office, who delivers it?
George Carlin - I'm in favor of separation of church and state. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin - In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin - It's a sad thing to visit Oklahoma and see Indians wearing cowboy hats.
George Carlin - Meow means woof in cat.
George Carlin - The difference between the blues and the blahs is that you can't sing the blahs.
George Carlin - The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin - The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin - The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin - There are two pips in a beaut, four beauts in a lulu, eight lulus in a doozy, and sixteen doozies in a humdinger. No one seems to know how many humdingers there are in a lollapalooza.
George Carlin - There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.
George Carlin - Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
George Carlin - Tonight's weather, dark, continuing mostly dark tonight, leading to widely scattered areas of light in the morning.
George Carlin - What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin - What year did Jesus think it was?
George Carlin - When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
George Carlin - When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.
George Carlin - Why do the Dutch people have two names for their country, Holland and the Netherlands, and neither one includes the word Dutch?
George Eliot - The beginning of compunction is the beginning of a new life.
George Eliot - There are many victories worse than a defeat.
George Eliot (1819-1880) - Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
George Foreman, 1990 - I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet.
George Gobel - If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
George Harrison - Life flows on within you and without you.
George Jean Nathan - "Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve."
George Jean Nathan - A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.
George Jean Nathan - A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to.
George Jean Nathan - A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan - A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.
George Jean Nathan - An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut.
George Jean Nathan - An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.
George Jean Nathan - Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
George Jean Nathan - Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry.
George Jean Nathan - Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people.
George Jean Nathan - Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.
George Jean Nathan - Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen.
George Jean Nathan - Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.
George Jean Nathan - I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan - I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost.
George Jean Nathan - I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
George Jean Nathan - I only drink to make other people seem interesting.
George Jean Nathan - I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.
George Jean Nathan - It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.
George Jean Nathan - It is only the cynicism that is born of success that is penetrating and valid.
George Jean Nathan - Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
George Jean Nathan - Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
George Jean Nathan - Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
George Jean Nathan - No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.
George Jean Nathan - No man thinks clearly when his fists are clenched.
George Jean Nathan - Patriotism is a arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
George Jean Nathan - Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
George Jean Nathan - Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.
George Jean Nathan - So long as there is one pretty girl left on the stage, the professional undertakers may hold up their burial of the theater.
George Jean Nathan - The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.
George Jean Nathan - The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
George Jean Nathan - To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.
George Jean Nathan - What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.
George Jean Nathan - Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired.
George Jean Nathan - Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.
George Mikes - An Englishman, even when he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
George Orwell - In our age there is no such thing as "keeping out of politics." All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia.
George Orwell - There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.
George Patton - I read the bible -- every goddam day.
George Santayana - A man is morally free when, in full possession of his living humanity, he judges the world, and judges other men, with uncompromising sincerity.
George Santayana - A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
George Santayana - Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better.
George Santayana - America is a young country with an old mentality.
George Santayana - An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world.
George Santayana - Before he sets out, the traveler must possess fixed interests and facilities to be served by travel.
George Santayana - Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavor to understand him.
George Santayana - Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana - For an idea ever to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be always old-fashioned.
George Santayana - Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment.
George Santayana - Intolerance itself is a form of egoism, and to condemn egoism intolerantly is to share it.
George Santayana - Music is essentially useless, as life is.
George Santayana - Music is essentially useless, as life is: but both have an ideal extension which lends utility to its conditions.
George Santayana - Nothing is really so poor and melancholy as art that is interested in itself and not in its subject.
George Santayana - Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. In the first stage of life the mind is frivolous and easily distracted, it misses progress by failing in consecutiveness and persistence. This is the condition of children and barbarians, in which instinct has learned nothing from experience.
George Santayana - Sanity is a madness put to good uses.
George Santayana - Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
George Santayana - Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
George Santayana - The body is an instrument, the mind its function, the witness and reward of its operation.
George Santayana - The Difficult is that which can be done immediately; the Impossible that which takes a little longer.
George Santayana - The truth is cruel, but it can be loved, and it makes free those who have loved it.
George Santayana - The wisest mind has something yet to learn.
George Santayana - There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
George Santayana - Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana - Those who speak most of progress measure it by quantity and not by quality.
George Santayana - To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.
George Santayana - To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.
George Santayana - Why shouldn't things be largely absurd, futile, and transitory? They are so, and we are so, and they and we go very well together.
George Santayana (12/16/1863) - Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
George Santayana (1863-1952) - The degree in which a poet's imagination dominates reality is, in the end, the exact measure of his importance and dignity.
George Santayana, "The German Mind: A Philosophical Diagnosis" - Our character...is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be.
George Santayana, Dialogues in Limbo (1925) ch. 3 - The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.
George Sheehan - If you want to win anything-a race, your self, your life-you have to go a little berserk.
George Stephanopolous - The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. (Clinton aide speaking on Larry King Live)
George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign - "I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know the number of continents."
George Washington - Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
George Washington - Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
George Washington - It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
George Washington - It's wonderful what we can do if we're always doing.
George Washington - Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
George Washington - Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!
George Washington Carver - "If you love it enough, anything will talk to you."
George Washington Carver (1864-1943) - When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
George Will - Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life-violence and committee meetings.
Georges Bernanos - A thought which does not result in an action is nothing much, and an action which does not proceed from a thought is nothing at all.
Geri Weitzman - Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of.
Gerry Brown - "The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868) - Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
GKH - They said 'Cheer up -- things could be worse. So I cheered up...and sure enough, things got worse.
Glaser and Way - The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Glenn Reynolds (The Instapundit) 4. October, 2004 - Personally, I'd be delighted to live in a country where happily married gay couples had closets full of assault weapons.
Gloria Leonard - The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Gloria Steinem - A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Gloria Steinem - Logic is in the eye of the logician.
Go ahead, make my day." - "Dirty" Harry Callahan "Sudden Impact
Goethe (1749-1832) - A clever man commits no minor blunders.
Golda Meir - Don't be humble. You're not that great.
Golda Meir (1898-1978) - Don't be so humble, you are not that great. (going to a visiting diplomat)
Goodman Ace - I keep reading between the lies.
Gore Vidal - A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Gore Vidal - I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Gore Vidal - It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Gore Vidal (1925-) - Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
Gracie Allen - When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
graffito on bus seen in Wickenburg, AZ - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Greg Sutter - If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait! He does!
Gregory J. P. Godek - Love is the harmony of two souls singing together.
Groucho Marx - "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "
Groucho Marx - "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."
Groucho Marx - A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx - A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx - A moose is an animal with horns on the front of his head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it.
Groucho Marx - A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx - Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx - Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx - All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx - And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
Groucho Marx - Anyone who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx - Anyone who says he can see through women is missiong a lot.
Groucho Marx - Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx - Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx - From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx - Go, and never darken my towels again.
Groucho Marx - I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
Groucho Marx - I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx - I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx - I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx - I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Groucho Marx - It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx - I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx - Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx - Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx - Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx - My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx - Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx - Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put Emily I love you on the back of the bill.
Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx - Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.
Groucho Marx - Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Groucho Marx - Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx - Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
Groucho Marx - Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx - Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx - Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx - Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx - Why was I with her? She reminds me of you.
Groucho Marx - Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx (1895-1977) - I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx, In the film A Day at the Races - I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
Guy Davenport - Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Guy Finley - A crisis is a close encounter of the third kind.
Guy Finley - You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.
Guy Kawasaki - Evangelism is selling a dream.
Gypsy Rose Lee - "She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."
H. G. Wells - The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf-it's almost a law.
H. G. Wells (1866-1946) - Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
H. G. Wells (1866-1946) - Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916) - A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916) - He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. - A racehorse that consistently runs just a second faster than another horse is worth millions of dollars more. Be willing to give that extra effort that separates the winner from the one in second place.
H. L. Mencken - Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken - For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. Mencken - The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
H. M. Warner (1881-1958) - Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? (founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927)
H. W. Brands - "Wealth still failed to impress him [Benjamin Franklin]; the purpose of money was to purchase one's freedom to pursue that which was useful and interesting."
H.L. Mencken - A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H.L. Mencken - We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) - A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) - Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) - It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) - It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) - The argument that capital punishment degrades the state is moonshine, for if that were true then it would degrade the state to send men to war... The state, in truth, is degraded in its very nature: a few butcheries cannot do it any further damage.
H.L.Mencken - The only really happy people are married women and single men.
Hal Hartley - Respect, admiration and trust equals love.
Hannah Arendt, 1977 - There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous.
Harold W. Dodds - It's an old adage that the way to be safe is never to be secure....Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best.
Harold Wilson - He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
Harriet Martineau (1802-1876) - You better live your best and act your best and think your best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows that follow.
Heber J Grant - The true key to happiness in life is to labor for the happiness of others
Heine - I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom
Heinrich Heine - Mark this well, you proud men of action! You are, after all, nothing but unconscious instruments of the men of thought.
Heinrich Heine - Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.
Heinrich Heine - Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings. (Almansor: A Tragedy, 1823)
Helen Keller - Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller - Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Helen Keller - College isn't the place to go for ideas.
Helen Keller - Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content
Helen Keller - I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
Helen Keller - Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.
Helen Keller - Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
Helen Keller - Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller - Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.
Helen Keller - No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
Helen Keller - One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Helen Keller - People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.
Helen Keller - Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.
Helen Keller - Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller - Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.
Helen Keller - Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousand of miles and all the years you have lived.
Helen Keller - The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.
Helen Keller - The highest result of education is tolerance.
Helen Keller - There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.
Helen Keller - We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
Helen Keller - When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller - When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
Helen Rowland - When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Helen Rowland (1876-1950) - A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Henny Youngman - If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning -- sleep late.
Henny Youngman - My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henri Bergson - Think like a man of action and act like a man of thought.
Henri-Frdric Amiel - The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret.
Henry Arthur Jones - George Bernard Shaw: "A freakish homunculus germinated outside of lawful procreation."
Henry Baker - I'm no fan of lawyers or litigation, but it's high time that someone defined 'buffer overflow' as being equal to 'gross criminal negligence'.
Henry David Thoreau - If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away
Henry David Thoreau - Men have become the tools of their tools.
Henry David Thoreau - Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) - Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) - How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) - Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) - The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Henry Ford - If I�d asked people what they wanted, they would have asked for a better horse.
Henry Ford - Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.
Henry Ford (1863-1947) - Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford (1863-1947) - Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Henry James - Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that what have you had?
Henry Kissinger (1923-) - University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Henry L. Mencken - Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Henry L. Mencken - Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Henry Louis Mencken - Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Henry Louis Mencken - For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Henry Louis Mencken - The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Henry Louis Mencken - The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) - Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
Henry Miller - In expanding the field of knowledge we but increase the horizon of ignorance.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - It takes less time to do things right that to explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - Thought takes man out of servitude, into freedom.
Henry Ward Beecher - Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.
Henry Ward Beecher - The worse thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
Henry Youngman - "I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock this afternoon."
Henry Youngman - Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesday, I go Fridays.
Henry Youngman - What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
HEPBURN, KATHERINE - I have many regrets, and I'm sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret...if you have any sense....And if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid.
Heraclitus - Nothing endures but change.
Herb Shriner - My wife does wonderful things with left overs. She throws them out.
Herbert Hoover - It is a paradox that every dictator has climbed to power on the ladder of free speech. Immediately on attaining power each dictator has suppressed all free speech except his own.
Herbert N. Casson - The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are the few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves.
Herman Melville - Of all insults, the temporary condescension of a master to a slave is the most outrageous and galling. That potentate who most condescends, mark him well; for that potentate, if occasion come, will prove your uttermost tyrant.
HESS, DAMIEN - Service...Giving what you don't have to give. Giving when you don't need to give. Giving because you want to give.
Heywood Banks - There's no 12-step program for stupid.
Heywood Broun, 1926 - Everybody favours free speech in the slack moments when no axes are being ground.
Homer - A companion's words of persuasion are effective.
Homer - A councilor ought not to sleep the whole night through, a man to whom the populace is entrusted, and who has many responsibilities.
Homer - A generation of men is like a generation of leaves; the wind scatters some leaves upon the ground, while others the burgeoning wood brings forth -- and the season of spring comes on. So of men one generation springs forth and another ceases.
Homer - A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.
Homer - Among all men on the earth bards have a share of honor and reverence, because the muse has taught them songs and loves the race of bards.
Homer - By their own follies they perished, the fools.
Homer - Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.
Homer - Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.
Homer - Even when someone battles hard, there is an equal portion for one who lingers behind, and in the same honor are held both the coward and the brave man; the idle man and he who has done much meet death alike.
Homer - Evil deeds do not prosper; the slow man catches up with the swift.
Homer - For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.
Homer - Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.
Homer - He knew the things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before.
Homer - He lives not long who battles with the immortals, nor do his children prattle about his knees when he has come back from battle and the dread fray.
Homer - I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another.
Homer - I should rather labor as another's serf, in the home of a man without fortune, one whose livelihood was meager, than rule over all the departed dead.
Homer - I too shall lie in the dust when I am dead, but now let me win noble renown.
Homer - If you are very valiant, it is a god, I think, who gave you this gift.
Homer - It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his death all things appear fair. But when dogs shame the gray head and gray chin and nakedness of an old man killed, it is the most piteous thing that happens among wretched mortals.
Homer - It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave.
Homer - It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You ought to make welcome the present guest, and send forth the one who wishes to go.
Homer - It is not possible to fight beyond your strength, even if you strive.
Homer - It is not unseemly for a man to die fighting in defense of his country.
Homer - It is tedious to tell again tales already plainly told.
Homer - It was built against the will of the immortal gods, and so it did not last for long.
Homer - Look now how mortals are blaming the gods, for they say that evils come from us, but in fact they themselves have woes beyond their share because of their own follies.
Homer - May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this -when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown.
Homer - Miserable mortals who, like leaves, at one moment flame with life, eating the produce of the land, and at another moment weakly perish.
Homer - Nothing feebler than a man does the earth raise up, of all the things which breathe and move on the earth, for he believes that he will never suffer evil in the future, as long as the gods give him success and he flourishes in his strength; but when the blessed gods bring sorrows too to pass, even these he bears, against his will, with steadfast spirit, for the thoughts of earthly men are like the day which the father of gods and men brings upon them.
Homer - Of men who have a sense of honor, more come through alive than are slain, but from those who flee comes neither glory nor any help.
Homer - Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
Homer - So it is that the gods do not give all men gifts of grace -- neither good looks nor intelligence nor eloquence.
Homer - The fates have given mankind a patient soul.
Homer - The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.
Homer - The gods, likening themselves to all kinds of strangers, go in various disguises from city to city, observing the wrongdoing and the righteousness of men.
Homer - The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.
Homer - The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.
Homer - The single best augury is to fight for one's country.
Homer - The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.
Homer - There is a fullness of all things, even of sleep and love.
Homer - There is a strength in the union even of very sorry men.
Homer - There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.
Homer - There is nothing more dread and more shameless than a woman who plans such deeds in her heart as the foul deed which she plotted when she contrived her husband's murder.
Homer - Thus have the gods spun the thread for wretched mortals: that they live in grief while they themselves are without cares; for two jars stand on the floor of Zeus of the gifts which he gives, one of evils and another of blessings.
Homer - We are quick to flare up, we races of men on the earth.
Homer - Whoever obeys the gods, to him they particularly listen.
Homer - Wide-sounding Zeus takes away half a man's worth on the day when slavery comes upon him.
Homer - You ought not to practice childish ways, since you are no longer that age.
Homer - You will certainly not be able to take the lead in all things yourself, for to one man a god has given deeds of war, and to another the dance, to another lyre and song, and in another wide-sounding Zeus puts a good mind.
Homer - Young men's minds are always changeable, but when an old man is concerned in a matter, he looks both before and after.
Honore de Balzac - Passion is universal humanity. Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless.
Honore de Balzac (1799-1850) - Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Honore De Balzac (1799-1850) - The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom; to serve all, but love only one.
Horace - Nothing's beautiful from every point of view.
Hotel Jincheng (Shenyang, China) - "It is not allow in the hotel room for guest participating in Illicit Arts, banging of firecrackers, gambling and wrestling".
Howard Aiken - Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
Hubert Humphre - Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.
Hugh Walpole - Don't play for safety-it's the most dangerous thing in the world.
Hugo L. Black, 1960 - The Framers [of the Constitution] knew that free speech is the friend of change and revolution. But they also knew that it is always the deadliest enemy of tyranny. (Address at the New York University School of Law)
Humphrey Bogart - The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Hunter S. Thompson - I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964) - I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Ian O'Doherty - What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?
IDLE, ERIC - At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971) - Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's - "Drop your trousers here for best results."
In a Belgrade Hotel Elevator - "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
In a Hong Kong supermarket - "For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service."
In a Hotel in Athens - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
In a Japanese Hotel - "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
In a Japanese Hotel Room - "Please to bathe inside the tub."
In a Leipzig Elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
In a Paris Hotel Elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."
In a Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
In a Rome laundry - "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
In a Swiss mountain inn - "Special today---no ice cream."
In a Tokyo bar - "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
In a Tokyo Hotel - "Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis."
In a Vienna hotel - "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
In a Yugoslavian Hotel - "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
In a Zurich hotel - "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers - "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."
In an East African newspaper - "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastary - "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
Independence Day, the Movie - We will not go quietly into the night
Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982) - Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Interseting - "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. " -- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
Ira Gershwin - With love to lead the way I've found more clouds of grey Than any Russian play Could guarantee... ...When ev'ry happy plot Ends with the marriage knot -And there's no knot for me.
Iris Murdoch - The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
Irish Proverbs - Will you walk with me to take the bare look off me?
Irish Triad - "Three candles that illuminate every darkness:Knowledge, Nature, Truth"
IRS letter - "Please provide the date of your death."
Irv Kupcinet - What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?
Irvine Robbins - You look at any giant corporation, and I mean the biggies, and they all started with a guy an idea, doing it well.
Irving Kristol - Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Isaac Asimov - Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Isaac Asimov - The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."
Isaac Bashevis Singer - There is great treasure there behind our skull and this is true about all of us. This little treasure has great, great powers, and I would say we only have learned a very, very small part of what it can do.
Isak Dinesen - "The pleasure of the true dreamer does not lie in the substance of the dream, but in this: that there things happen without any inference from his side, and altogether outside his control."
Isocrates - Of all our possessions, wisdom alone is imortal.
Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel - "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
Ivy Compton-Burnett - Pushing forty? She's clinging onto it for dear life!
J Paul Getty - If you can actually count your money, then you're not a rich man.
J Smith - The encounter of philosophy ~ with religion shows, in short, that religion cannot be all finding and that philosophy cannot be all seeking.
J. Edgar Hoover - Justice is incidental to law and order.
J. Erskine - There is a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
J. Krishnamurti - "The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed."
J. R. R. Tolkien - All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
J. R. R. Tolkien - Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
J. R. R. Tolkien - Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
J. R. R. Tolkien - His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking, best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.
J. R. R. Tolkien - I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.
J. R. R. Tolkien - I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
J. R. R. Tolkien - 'I wish life was not so short,' he thought. 'Languages take such a time, and so do all the things one wants to know about.'
J. R. R. Tolkien - If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
J. R. R. Tolkien - It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
J. R. R. Tolkien - It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish.
J. R. R. Tolkien - Little by little, one travels far.
J. R. R. Tolkien - Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
J. R. R. Tolkien - Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.
J. R. R. Tolkien - The Hobbits are just rustic English people, made small in size because it reflects the generally small reach of their imagination.
J. R. R. Tolkien, 1954 - All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.
J. Robert Oppenheimer - Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man. on Albert Einstein
J. Wainwright - You have to regard everything I say with suspicion -- I may be trying to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently.
Jack Handey - I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
Jack Handey - I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
Jack Handey - If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Jack Handey - If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
Jack Handey - If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
Jack Handey - It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Jack Handey - Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.
Jack Handey - Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.
Jack Handey - We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Jack Handey - When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
Jack Handy - Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.
Jack Handy - Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Jack Handy - Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it.
Jack Handy - I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!
Jack Handy - I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Jack Handy - I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
Jack Handy - I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
Jack Handy - I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.
Jack Handy - I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?
Jack Handy - I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president.
Jack Handy - I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.
Jack Handy - I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much.
Jack Handy - If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
Jack Handy - If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
Jack Handy - If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought
Jack Handy - If you're an archeologist, I bet it's real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out it's not a skull but just an old dried-out potato.
Jack Handy - If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him.
Jack Handy - Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
Jack Handy - Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
Jack Handy - It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marineland says, 'You can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish.' Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them. Man, wise up.
Jack Handy - Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
Jack Handy - Most of the time in the Middle Ages it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."
Jack Handy - Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
Jack Handy - Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, 'Aw, who cares?' And then I think, 'Hey, what's for supper?'
Jack Handy - The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, 'Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.'
Jack Handy - There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he wants to build things, like dams, and maybe chew down some trees. In the third stage, he feels trapped, and then "skinned." I'm not sure what the fourth stage is.
Jack Handy - To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" -- you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
Jack Handy - When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
Jack Handy - When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."
Jack Handy - Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?
Jack Handy - You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress.
Jack Herbert - My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had, so he sent me to a girl's school.
Jack Kolber - I'm at a stage in my life where I'm having a hard time caring about things. Fortunately, I don't care.
Jack Lewis - To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Jack London (1876-1916) - There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.
Jack Nicholson - My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Schwartz - expert in human potential -- We are hoarding potentials so great that they are just about unimaginable.
Jack Schwartz, expert in human potential - We are hoarding potentials so great that they are just about unimaginable.
Jackie Gleason - The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
Jackie Mason - I always thought music was more important than sex-then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me. (Guardian, 1989)
Jackie Mason - I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jacob Bronowski - We have to understand the world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation. The hand is more important than the eye...The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.
Jacques Languirand - Men who don't understand women fall into two groups -- bachelors and husbands.
Jacques Maritain - We don't love qualities; we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities.
James A. Michener - I was brought up in the great tradition of the late nineteenth century: that a writer never complains, never explains and never disdains.
James A. Michener - The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.
James A. Michener - There are no insoluble problems. Only time-consuming ones. (Space, 1982)
James A. Michener, historical novelist, born 1907 - If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life.
James Agee - The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.
James Anthony Froude - Fear is the parent of cruelty.
James Branch Cabell - The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
James Buckham - Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.
James E. Faust - In simple terms, that which is good comes from God, and that which is evil comes from the devil. (See Alma 5:40.) You can't have it both ways and find true happiness; some have tried, but in the long run all have failed. If any of you young men think you can have it both ways, you are only deceiving yourselves. It doesn't work that way. It never has. It never will.
James F. Byrnes - Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.
James Joyce - "Shaw's works make me admire the magnificent tolerance and broadmindedness of the english."
James Russell Lowell - All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.
James Stewart - Behind every successful man is a woman -- with absolutely nothing to wear.
James Thurber - All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
James Thurber - Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
James Thurber - He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.
James Thurber - He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
James Thurber - Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
James Thurber - I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
James Thurber - I hate women because they always know where things are.
James Thurber - I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.
James Thurber - I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber - It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
James Thurber - Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.
James Thurber - The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
James Thurber - The paths of glory at least lead to the grave, but the paths of duty may not get you any where.
James Thurber - The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people--that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.
James Thurber - The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
James Thurber - There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
James Thurber - There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
James Thurber - Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
James Thurber - Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
James Thurber - You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
James Thurber - You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
James Thurber (1894-1961) - It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut - In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Jane Austen - A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
Jane Austen - But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way.
Jane Austen - Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Jane Austen - For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?
Jane Austen - Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
Jane Austen - Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.
Jane Austen - How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.
Jane Austen - I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman's feelings; and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of.
Jane Austen - I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.
Jane Austen - I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
Jane Austen - I have no pretensions whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man.
Jane Austen - I pay very little regard...to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person.
Jane Austen - If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.
Jane Austen - In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes.
Jane Austen - It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Jane Austen - It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation.
Jane Austen - Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable; that one false step involves her in endless ruin; that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful; and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behaviour towards the undeserving of the other sex.
Jane Austen - No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with.
Jane Austen - Nothing amuses me more than the easy manner with which everybody settles the abundance of those who have a great deal less than themselves.
Jane Austen - Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch.
Jane Austen - One cannot fix one's eyes on the commonest natural production without finding food for a rambling fancy.
Jane Austen - One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
Jane Austen - Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.
Jane Austen - The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's.
Jane Austen - There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.
Jane Austen - To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.
Jane Austen - Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously.... Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.
Jane Austen - We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.
Jane Austen - Where any one body of educated men, of whatever denomination, are condemned indiscriminately, there must be a deficiency of information, or...of something else.
Jane Austen - Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
Jane Mansfield - Love is blind, which is why it has such a keen sense of touch.
Jane Wagner - I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner - Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
Janet Sorensen - I love my kids, but I wouldn't want them for friends.
Japanese proverb - One kind word can warm three winter months.
Japanese Proverb - Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
Jason Kidd - "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Jason Kidd - We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. (upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks)
Jawaharlal Nehru - The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.
Jay Leno - Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Jay Leno - I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jay Leno - I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Jay Leno - Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.
Jean Cocteau (1889-1963) - The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Jean de la Fontaine - Patience and time do more than strength or passion.
Jean Giraudoux - The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
Jean Jacques Rousseau - Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
Jean Jacques Rousseau - To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to finish without knowing what you have written.
Jean Luc Picard - With the first link, a chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably. (Patrick Stewart's character on Star Trek: The Next Generation)
Jean Paul Richter - Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations.
Jean-Paul Sartre - Hell is other people.
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) - Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) - Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Jeff Berner - "Earth is a great funhouse without the fun."
Jeff Herman - Success gravitates toward those who are perceived to be successful. Regardless of how you feel within, you must emanate success if you want to attract people to your cause.
Jeff Pesis - Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Jeff Valdez - Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeremy Taylor - Love is friendship set on fire.
Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667) - To be proud of learning is the greatest ignorance.
Jerome K. Jerome - Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.
Jerry Boyajian - You deliver a good argument, but speaking personally, I'd rather have an exhibitionist nymphomaniac, especially one who looked like Julie Newmar.
Jerry Fletcher ("Conspiracy Theory") - A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.
Jerry Garcia - I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.
Jessica Hatchigan - There's an important difference between giving up and letting go
Jim Samuels - Remember folks-[Stop] lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.
Jim Zelenka - Of course it has civilian applications. You might wanna kill your friends, someday.
Jimi Hendrix - Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
Jimmy Connors, 1984 - New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
Jimmy Durante - Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
JKA - "As adults we still have not stopped crying like infants, we have merely refined the art."
Joan Baez - Action is the antidote to despair
Joan Rivers - "Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress."
Joan Rivers - I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you start it all over again.
Joan Rivers - I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
Joan Rivers - It takes a lot of experience for a woman to kiss like a beginner.
Joanna Field - I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my preconceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know.
Joe Covington - And help me to remember.... When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.
Joe Dimaggio, 1961 - A ball player's got to be kept hungry to become a big leaguer. That's why no boy from a rich family ever made it to the big leagues.
Joe Martin - The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.
Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst - "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Joel Arthur Barker, author of Paradigms - A leader is a person you will follow to a place you wouldn't go by yourself.
Joey Bishop - My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.
Johann von Schiller - Who dares nothing, need hope for nothing.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Anecdotes and maxims are rich treasures to the man of the world, for he knows how to introduce the former at fit place in conversation.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Beware of dissipating your powers; strive constantly to concentrate them. Genius thinks it can do whatever it sees others doing, but is sure to repent of every ill-judged outlay.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - If I love you, what business is it of yours?
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Live dangerously and you live right.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Nothing is worth more than this day.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Science arose from poetry--when times change the two can meet again on a higher level as friends.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - So divinely is the world organized that every one of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - That is the true season of love, when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will love in the same way after us.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Whatever you can do or dream, begin it.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Whenever I hear people talking about "liberal ideas," I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust - As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
John 15:10-13 - If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John Adams - The happiness of society is the end of government.
John Berryman - Offering Dragons quarter is no good, they regrow all their parts and come on again. They have to be killed.
John C. Maxwell - Policies are many, Principles are few, Policies will change, Principles never do.
John Carmack - If you're willing to restrict the flexibility of your approach, you can almost always do something better.
John Cheever, 1956 - Wisdom we know is the knowledge of good and evil-not the strength to choose between the two.
John Ciardi - Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.
JOHN CLEESE - I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
John D. Rockefeller (1874-1960) - A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
John Davison Rockefeller Jr. - I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possesion, a duty.
John Dewey - Education is not preparation for life, education is life itself.
John Elliott - Heaven is an English policeman, a French cook, a German engineer, an Italian lover and everything organised by the Swiss. Hell is an English cook, a French engineer, a German policeman, a Swiss lover and everything organised by the Italians.
John F. Kennedy - But peace does not rest in the charters and covenants alone. It lies in the hearts and minds of all people. So let us not rest all our hopes on parchment and on paper, let us strive to build peace, a desire for peace, a willingness to work for peace in the hearts and minds of all of our people. I believe that we can. I believe the problems of human destiny are not beyond the reach of human beings.
John F. Kennedy - Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy - Where there is no vision, the people perish. (quoting the Hebrew Bible, Proverbs 29:18, on the eve of his assassination)
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) - "The full use of your powers along lines of excellence." definition of "happiness"
John F. Kennedy (when asked what is his favorite song) - I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
John F. Kennedy, 1959 - When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters-one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.
John Fletcher - It's impossible to ravish me I'm so willing.
John Gall - A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.
John Gielgud, "Forty Years On" - I am all in favour of spontaneity, providing it is carefully planned and ruthlessly controlled.
John Jantos - It's never too late to be obnoxious.
John Kenneth Galbraith - If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
John Kenneth Galbraith - is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
John Kenneth Galbraith - Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
John Kim - Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
John Locke - "The thoughts that come often unsought, and, as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable of any we have."
John Lubbock - What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
John Major - When your back is against the wall, the only thing to do is to turn around and fight.
John Milton - Capricious, wanton, bold, and brutal lust Is meanly selfish; when resisted, cruel; And, like the blast of pestilential winds, Taints the sweet bloom of nature's fairest forms.
John Milton - Death is the golden key that opens the palace of eternity.
John Mortimer - I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print. (Clinging to the Wreckage, 1982)
John Nasibitt, (Megatrends) - Value is what people are willing to pay for it.
John Osterhout - A program that produces incorrect results twice as fast is infinitely slower.
John Parr - Play the game, you know you can't quit until it's won. (St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion))
John Perry Barlow - The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it.
John Ruskin - In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.
John Stuart Mill On Liberty, 1859 - Originality is the one thing which unoriginal minds cannot feel the use of.
John von Neumann (1903-1957) - Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
John W. Scoville - No cause is helpless if it is just. Errors, no matter how popular, carry the seeds of their own destruction.
JOHN WAYNE [Marion Morrison] - Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
JOHN WAYNE - I've always followed my father's advice: He told me, first, to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddam sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.
Johnny Carson - "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
Joke - What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife
Jonathan Carroll - You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
Jonathan Katz - They've just found a gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes.
JONES, FRANKLIN P. - The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Jos Ortega y Gasset - We have need of history in its entirety, not to fall back into it, but to see if we can escape from it. The Revolt of the Masses, 1930
Joseph Addison - Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
Joseph Brodsky, 1984 - The surest defense against Evil is extreme individualism, originality of thinking, whimsicality, even-if you will-eccentricity. That is, something that can't be feigned, faked, imitated; something even a seasoned impostor couldn't be happy with.
Joseph Heller - When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller, Catch-22 - "Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
Joseph Wood Krutch - Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
Josh Billings - Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
Josh Billings - The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
Joyce Cary - I look upon life as a gift from God. I did nothing to earn it. Now that the time is coming to give it back, I have no right to complain.
Joyce Cary - Love doesn't grow on the trees like apples in Eden-it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination to make it too, just like anything else.
Judge Ronald Buckwalter, 1996 - If the Government is going to intrude upon the sacred ground of the First Amendment and tell its citizens that their exercise of protected speech could land them in jail, the law imposing such a penalty must clearly define the prohibited speech not only for the potential offender but also for the potential enforcer.
Judge Ronald Buckwalter, 1996 - This statute, all parties agree, deals with protected speech, the preservation of which has been extolled by court after court in case after case as the keystone, the bulwark, the very heart of our democracy. What is more, the [Communications Decency Act] attempts to regulate protected speech through criminal sanctions, thus implicating not only the First but also the Fifth Amendment of our Constitution. The concept of due process is every bit as important to our form of government as is free speech. If free speech is at the heart of our democracy, then surely due process is the very lifeblood of our body politic; for without it, democracy could not survive. Distilled to its essence, due process is, of course, nothing more and nothing less than fair play. If our citizens cannot rely on fair play in their relationship with their government, the stature of our government as a shining example of democracy would be greatly diminished.
Judge Stewart Dalzell, 1996 - ...the Internet may fairly be regarded as a never-ending worldwide conversation. The Government may not, through the [Communications Decency Act], interrupt that conversation. As the most participatory form of mass speech yet developed, the Internet deserves the highest protection from governmental intrusion. True it is that many find some of the speech on the Internet to be offensive, and amid the din of cyberspace many hear discordant voices that they regard as indecent. The absence of governmental regulation of Internet content has unquestionably produced a kind of chaos, but as one of plaintiffs' experts put it with such resonance at the hearing: "What achieved success was the very chaos that the Internet is. The strength of the Internet is that chaos."
Judge Stewart Dalzell, 1996 - Just as the strength of the Internet is chaos, so the strength of our liberty depends upon the chaos and cacophony of the unfettered speech the First Amendment protects. For these reasons, I without hesitation hold that the [Communications Decency Act] is unconstitutional on its face.
Judge Stewart Dalzell, 1996 - The Internet is a far more speech-enhancing medium than print, the village green, or the mails. Because it would necessarily affect the Internet itself, the [Communications Decency Act] would necessarily reduce the speech available for adults on the medium. This is a constitutionally intolerable result.
Judith Martin - Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.
Judith Viorst - Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
Jules Feiffer - Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
Julia Soul - If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.
Justice Louis D. Brandeis - Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.
Justice Louis D. Brandeis, 1927 - Fear of serious injury alone cannot justify oppression of free speech and assembly. Men feared witches and burnt women. It is the function of speech to free men from the bondage of irrational fears. (Whitney v. California)
Kahlil Gibran - Every man loves two women;the one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born.
Kahlil Gibran - Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
Kahlil Gibran - God made Truth with many doors to welcome every believer who knocks on them.
Kahlil Gibran - I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
Kahlil Gibran - If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully.
Kahlil Gibran - If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.
Kahlil Gibran - If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
Kahlil Gibran - In the sweetness of friendship; let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Kahlil Gibran - Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
Kahlil Gibran - Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'
Kahlil Gibran - The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.
Kahlil Gibran - The lights of stars that were extinguished ages ago still reaches us. So it is with great men who died centuries ago, but still reach us with the radiations of their personalities.
Kahlil Gibran - The optomist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose.
Kahlil Gibran - To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do.
Kahlil Gibran - Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream.
Kahlil Gibran, "Anthem of Humanity" - I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end.
Kahlil Gibran, Essay on Robert Frost, quoted in N. Y.. Times: Obit-Editorial, April 1982 - Yes, there is a Nirvanah; it is leading your sheep to a green pasture, and in putting your child to sleep, and in writing the last line of your poem.
Kahlil Gibran, 'Narcotics and Dissecting Knives,' Thoughts and Meditations, 1960 - In battling evil, excess is good; for he who is moderate in announcing the truth is presenting half-truth. He conceals the other half out of fear of the people's wrath.
Kahlil Gibran, 'On Giving,' The Prophet, 1923 - It is well to give when asked but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet - And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Karel Caprek - If dogs could talk, perhaps we'd find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people.
Karin Ireland - No one can give you authority. But if you act like you have it, others will believe you do.
Karl Wallenda - Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Katherine Cebrian - I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Katherine Graham - To love what you do and feel that it matters-how could anything be more fun?
Kauffmann Max - She was a lovely girl. Our courtship was fast and furious -- I was fast and she was furious.
Keith Waterhouse - She was stark naked except for a PVC raincoat, dress, net stockings, undergarments, shoes, rain hat and gloves.
Kelly Robinson - Things are always darkest just before they go pitch black.
Ken Kesey - People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.
Ken Olson - There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. (president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977)
Ken Venturi's Two Great Rules of Life - 1) Never tell everything at once.
Kenneth Blanchard - The first principle of ethical power is Purpose... By purpose, I don't mean your objective or intention-something toward which you are always striving. Purpose is something bigger. It is the picture you have of yourself-the kind of person you want to be or the kind of life you want to lead. H -- umor E -- go, edging God out L -- istening P -- urpose
Kenneth Boulding - There are two kinds of people in this world: those who divide everything into groups and those who don't.
Keppel Enderbery - "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
Kermit the Frog - Time's fun when you're having flies.
Kevin Bacon - A good director creates an environment, which gives the actor the encouragement to fly.
Kevin Bacon - Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.
Kevin Bacon - As I was coming up on the stage, there was one source that could make or break you, the New York Times. Inevitably there would be one actor singled out for a better review, or worse, than somebody else. The effect of that was cancerous, divisive.
Kevin Bacon - Before Footloose, the things I'd done weren't cute. In Diner I was an alcoholic.
Kevin Bacon - Clint Eastwood has always been a hero.
Kevin Bacon - Critics can be your most important friend. I don't read criticism of my stuff only because when it's bad, it's rough-and when it's good, it's not good enough.
Kevin Bacon - Gary Oldman is impossible to steal a movie from. He's such a great actor, he's off the hook. I love him.
Kevin Bacon - I always wanted, and still aspire, to be something more than just one thing, just one performance.
Kevin Bacon - I didn't get into this so I could talk about my work, my movies. You become an actor to act.
Kevin Bacon - I do better on the first three takes; I won't be better at 20 takes.
Kevin Bacon - I do struggle with how much and in which way, as an artist or celebrity, that you voice your political views.
Kevin Bacon - I don't have to do the lead. If I dig a part, I'll do it.
Kevin Bacon - I don't read my own reviews and I haven't for probably 15 years. I read other people's reviews, though.
Kevin Bacon - I don't want to stop acting, but acting in some ways is a young man's game.
Kevin Bacon - I have a natural swagger.
Kevin Bacon - I just let the work speak for itself. An actor is not afraid to take risks; to put on different hats; to be a good guy, a bad guy, a victim, an abuser. There are all kinds of people in the world, and playing them is what acting is all about.
Kevin Bacon - I like directing. It takes a lot out of you, but I'd like to do it again-I just have to find a story I want to tell.
Kevin Bacon - I think we all have a lot of darkness in our bellies. As an actor, the challenge of tapping into that, reaching down into that sadness or anger, is very therapeutic.
Kevin Bacon - I'd always tried not to worry about the size of the role or the size of the film.
Kevin Bacon - I'd love to be a pop idol. Of course, my groupies are now between 40 and 50.
Kevin Bacon - I'd really like to get the girl, shoot the gun, drive the car, have fun. I even have these kind of action dreams, where I'm the action guy.
Kevin Bacon - If I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me and treats me like everyone else, I'm not used to it.
Kevin Bacon - If you're an actor, even a successful one, you're still waiting for the phone to ring.
Kevin Bacon - I'm always happier and a better actor when I can really lose myself in a character and become somebody else.
Kevin Bacon - It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous.
Kevin Bacon - I've made three studio albums and one live one with my brother. It's melodic singer-songwriter acoustic-rock music.
Kevin Bacon - The business that people do in LA on the social level is amazing. You go to a restaurant, bump into this guy or that guy. The next day you get a call, and they want you in their movie.
Kevin Bacon - There's the most resistance to an actor singing. It's like I'm being disloyal to my industry.
Kevin Kozicki - When I *do* lose it, I'm going to make sure I do it in a post office just to screw up the statistics.
Kevin Poulsen - For much of the Internet, the shortest path between two points doesn't exist.
Kin Hubbard - A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
Kin Hubbard - A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Kin Hubbard - A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
Kin Hubbard - A loafer always has the correct time.
Kin Hubbard - A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Kin Hubbard - After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Kin Hubbard - All the world loves a good loser.
Kin Hubbard - An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
Kin Hubbard - As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.
Kin Hubbard - Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
Kin Hubbard - Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
Kin Hubbard - Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Kin Hubbard - Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Kin Hubbard - Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
Kin Hubbard - Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
Kin Hubbard - Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
Kin Hubbard - Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.
Kin Hubbard - Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Kin Hubbard - Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Kin Hubbard - I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
Kin Hubbard - If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
Kin Hubbard - If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
Kin Hubbard - If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
Kin Hubbard - If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
Kin Hubbard - I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.
Kin Hubbard - It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
Kin Hubbard - It isn't enough for you to love money -- it's also necessary that money should love you.
Kin Hubbard - It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.
Kin Hubbard - It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
Kin Hubbard - It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
Kin Hubbard - It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kin Hubbard - It's the good loser who finally loses out.
Kin Hubbard - It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
Kin Hubbard - Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
Kin Hubbard - Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Kin Hubbard - Listening is the only way to entertain some folks.
Kin Hubbard - Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
Kin Hubbard - Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
Kin Hubbard - Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.
Kin Hubbard - Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard - Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard - No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Kin Hubbard - No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kin Hubbard - Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Kin Hubbard - Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Kin Hubbard - Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
Kin Hubbard - Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Kin Hubbard - Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
Kin Hubbard - Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Kin Hubbard - Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Kin Hubbard - Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Kin Hubbard - Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
Kin Hubbard - Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
Kin Hubbard - Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Kin Hubbard - The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Kin Hubbard - The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Kin Hubbard - The fellow that owns his own house is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Kin Hubbard - The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Kin Hubbard - The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Kin Hubbard - The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard - The world gels better every day -- then worse again in the evening.
Kin Hubbard - The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
Kin Hubbard - There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
Kin Hubbard - There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Kin Hubbard - There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
Kin Hubbard - There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard - Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
Kin Hubbard - We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard - When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.
Kin Hubbard - Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
Kingsley Amis - If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
Kirsten Zambucka - Though I might travel afar, I will meet only what I carry with me, for every man is a mirror. We see only ourselves reflected in those around us. Their attitudes and actions are only a reflection of our own. The whole world and its condition has its counter parts within us all. Turn the gaze inward. Correct yourself and your world will change.
Krishnamurti - "If you can simply observe what you are and stay flexible, you will find that you can progress infinitely."
Lajos Kossuth - Neutrality, as a lasting principle, is an evidence of weakness.
Lana Turner - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Langsam's Laws - 1) Everything depends. 2) Nothing is always. 3) Everything is sometimes.
Lao-Tzu - "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC) - A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Larry Brown - After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, "Maybe life isn't for everyone."
Laurence J. Peter - A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Law of Probable Dispersal - Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Lawrence Peter Berra - The hotel towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
Lazarus Long (Robert A. Heinlein) - Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.
Lee Iacocca - "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
Lee Trevino - Grey hair is great. Ask anyone who is bald.
Lee Trevino, 1985 - If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
Leibowitz's Rule - When hammering a nail, you will never hit your finger if you hold the hammer with both hands.
Len Lanphar - Save the environment. And the call stack, while you're at it.
Lenny Bruce - I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up'.
Leo Buscaglia - "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear... all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Leo Durocher - I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?
Leo Durocher - I come to win.
Leo Durocher - I made a game effort to argue but two things were against me: the umpires and the rules.
Leo Durocher - I never did say that you can't be a nice guy and win. I said that if I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I'd trip her up.
Leo Durocher - I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.
Leo Durocher - If you don't win, you're going to be fired. If you do win, you've only put off the day you're going to be fired.
Leo Durocher - In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you.
Leo Durocher - Nice guys finish last.
Leo Durocher - Nobody ever won a pennant without a star shortstop.
Leo Durocher - Show me a good loser and I'll show you an idiot.
Leo Durocher - Some guys are admired for coming to play, as the saying goes. I prefer those who come to kill.
Leo Durocher - There are only five things you can do in baseball -- run, throw, catch, hit and hit with power.
Leo Durocher - What are we out at the park for, except to win?
Leo Durocher - Win any way as long as you can get away with it. Nice guys finish last.
Leo Durocher - Win any way you can as long as you can get away with it.
Leo Durocher - Winning is a habit.
Leo Durocher - You argue with the umpire because there is nothing else you can do about it.
Leo Durocher - You can't get any pictures from way back there.
Leo Durocher - You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.
Leonardo da Vinci - I learned to draw from copying what I saw.
Leonardo Da Vinci - Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen, even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
Leonardo da Vinci - Once you have tasted flight, you will walk this earth with your eyes turned skyward. For there you have been, and there you long to return.
Les Brown - Live out of your imagination instead of out of your memory.
Les Dawson - My wife is a sex object -- every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Lewis Carrol - "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat
Lewis Carroll - " 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said, gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end; then stop.' "
Lewis Carroll - "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to meanneither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be masterthat's all."
Lewis Carroll - Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.
Lewis Carroll - It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
Lewis Morris - Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare the truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare.
Lewis Mumford - Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
Lewis Thomas - We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our lives, fearing the future, discontent with the present, unable to take in the idea of dying, unable to sit still.
Lily Tomlin - Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
Lily Tomlin - For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin - If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin - If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin - Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin - No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin - Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin - Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin - The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Lily Tomlin - We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
Lily Tomlin - We're all in this alone.
Lina Wertmuller - I don't think suicide is so terrible. Some rainy winter Sunday when there's a little boredom, you should always carry a gun. Not to shoot yourself, but to know exactly that you're always making a choice.
Linus Pauling (1901-1994) - The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
Lisa Hoffman - Love is like pi-natural, irrational, and VERY important.
ljd, Scorched Earth Party - Remember, there's no problem so complex it can't be solved by killing everyone even remotely associated with it.
Lord Acton - It is bad to be oppressed by a minority, but it is worse to be oppressed by a majority. For there is a reserve of latent power in the masses which, if it is called into play, the minority can seldom resist. But from the absolute will of an entire people there is no appeal, no redemption, no refuge but treason.
Lord Acton - Opinions alter, manners change, creeds rise and fall, but the moral laws are written on the table of eternity.
Lord Byron - "No ear can hear, nor tongue can tell, the tortures of the inward hell."
Lord Byron - I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. (Letter to Annabella Milbanke, 1814)
Lord Chesterfield - Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.
Lord Melchett - We are as genitals unto the gods. They play with us for their pleasure. (Stephen Fry's character on Blackadder II, 1985)
Lord Snowdon - I have learned only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she is having her own way. Second, let her have it.
Loretta Young, actress - "Everything worthwhile, everything of any value, has a price. The price is effort."
Lorraine Anderson - "My deepest longing is to live in a world that respects life in every form, a world whose people have a fierce love and loyalty to the Earth, and their particular place thereon."
Lou Holtz - Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz - It's not my job to motivate players. They bring extraordinary motivation to our program. It's my job not to de-motivate them.
Lou Holtz - It's not my job to motivate players. They bring extraordinary motivation to our program. It's my job not to de-motivate them. Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
Louis D. Brandeis - America has believed that in differentiation, not in uniformity, lies the path of progress. It acted on this belief; it has advanced human happiness, and it has prospered.
Louis D. Brandeis - Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Louis D. Brandeis - Nearly all legislation involves a weighing of public needs as against private desires; and likewise a weighing of relative social values.
Louis D. Brandeis - Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or ill, it teaches the whole people by its example.
Louis Dembitz Brandeis - Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
Louis Ferdinand Cline - Those who talk about the future are scoundrels. It is the present that matters.
Louis Pasteur - Let me tell you the secret that has led to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.
Louis Pasteur (1822-1895) - In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind.
Lt. Henry Mon - Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question.
Lucille Ball - If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.
Lucille Ball - Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste.
Lucille Ball - The more things you do, the more you can do.
Lucille S. Harper - The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Lucy Maud Montgomery MacDonald - Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them
Ludwig Borne - Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
Ludwig Brne - Only the suppressed word is dangerous.
Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) - "I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
Luke 15:7 - I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
Luke 21:36 - Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.
Luther Burbank - "I don't feel good. " -- The last words
Lyman Abbott - Patience is passion tamed.
Lynda Barry - If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
Lynn Lavner - "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
M. Berle - The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired.
M. C. Escher - I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
M. Charles Wheeler - Nowadays some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with a remote control.
Mack R. Douglas - Courage follows action
Madeleine L'Engle (1918-) - It takes too much energy to be against something unless it's really important.
Mae West - Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae West - Give a man a free hand and he will run it all over you.
Mae West - I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you.
Mae West - I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
Mae West - I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
Mae West - It ain't a sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
Mae West - It's better to be looked over than to be overlooked.
Mae West - It's not the men in my life that counts-it's the life in my men. in I'm No Angel, 1933
Mae West - She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Mae West - The guy's no good. He never was any good. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West - To err is human but it feels divine.
Mae West - When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm even better.
Mae West - Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I have never tried before.
Mae West (1892-1980) - He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Mae West (1892-1980) - When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mahatma Gandhi - Civil disobedience becomes a sacred duty when the state becomes lawless or corrupt.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) - I think it would be a good idea. (when asked what he thought of Western civilization)
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) - When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.
Malcom Muggeridge - It has to be admitted that we English have sex on the brain, which is a very unsatisfactory place to have it.
Marc Dodge - Supporting Windows is like buying a puppy. 'The dog only cost $100, but we spent another $500 cleaning the carpet.'
Marcel Proust - We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.
Marcus Tullius Cicero - To live is to think. (Tusculanes Disputationes, 44 B.C. )
Margaret Anderson - In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person.
Margaret Thatcher - Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
Margaret Young, quoted in The Artist's Way - Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want to they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
Marie Curie (1867-1934) - There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth.
Marily Monroe - Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat? (after being served matzo ball soup 3 meals in a row)
Marilyn Peterson - You don't die of a broken heart, you only wish you did.
Mario Andretti - If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Mario Cuomo - "The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us."
Mark Denovich - The biggest reason against public transportation: the public.
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman - "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Mark Twain - "A composer whose music is better than it sounds." About Wagner
Mark Twain - "Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people.
Mark Twain - "It isn't safe to sit in judgement on another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet."
Mark Twain - "Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
Mark Twain - A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain - A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
Mark Twain - A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?
Mark Twain - A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain - About Wagner: "A composer whose music is better than it sounds."
Mark Twain - Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.
Mark Twain - Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
Mark Twain - Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain - All say, how hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
Mark Twain - All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain - All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence -- and then success is sure.
Mark Twain - Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain - Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.
Mark Twain - An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Mark Twain - Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain - Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint" , (1835-1910)
Mark Twain - Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain - Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain - Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
Mark Twain - Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
Mark Twain - Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain - Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!
Mark Twain - Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain - Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain - Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain - Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
Mark Twain - Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain - Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain - Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.
Mark Twain - Everybody is talking about the weather but nobody does anything about it.
Mark Twain - Everything has its limit--iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain - Everything human is pathetic.
Mark Twain - Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain - Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Mark Twain - Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
Mark Twain - Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain - Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain - Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain - Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain - Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you like.
Mark Twain - Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
Mark Twain - Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain - Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain - Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain - Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain - Habit is habit and not to be flung out the window by any man but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain - He was useless above the ground. He ought to have been underneath it, inspiring the cabbages.
Mark Twain - His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain - Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.
Mark Twain - Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain - Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain - I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.
Mark Twain - I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain - I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Mark Twain - I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was dissapointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain - I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.
Mark Twain - I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
Mark Twain - I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain - I like criticism, but it must be my way.
Mark Twain - I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
Mark Twain - If you don't like the weather in New England, wait five minutes; it will change.
Mark Twain - If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain - If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain - In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
Mark Twain - Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.
Mark Twain - It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain - It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain - It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain - It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
Mark Twain - It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
Mark Twain - It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
Mark Twain - It is curious--curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain - It is easier to stay out than to get out.
Mark Twain - It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others--and less trouble.
Mark Twain - It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain - It seems such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain - It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain - It were not best that we should all think alike; it is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain - Its easy to make money on Wall Street. All you have to do is -- buy when the price is low. Then, as soon as it goes up, sell and take your profit.
Mark Twain - It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain - I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics.
Mark Twain - Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Mark Twain - Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.
Mark Twain - Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.
Mark Twain - Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain - Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain - Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain - Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths.
Mark Twain - Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain - Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
Mark Twain - Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain - Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain - Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain - My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine--everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain - Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain - Never put off until tomorrow what can be put off until the day after.
Mark Twain - Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.
Mark Twain - No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain - Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain - Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain - Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain - One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it--they also believed the world was flat.
Mark Twain - Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
Mark Twain - Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain - Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.
Mark Twain - Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain - Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.
Mark Twain - Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
Mark Twain - Some people get an eduction without going to college; the rest get it after they get out.
Mark Twain - The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
Mark Twain - The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself.
Mark Twain - The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain - The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain - The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain - The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain - The secret of Humor . . . is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain - The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain - The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow.
Mark Twain - The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right.
Mark Twain - The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain - There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
Mark Twain - There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain - There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
Mark Twain - There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain - There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain - There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Mark Twain - There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain - Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain - To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
Mark Twain - To eat is human, To digest divine.
Mark Twain - Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Mark Twain - We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
Mark Twain - We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.
Mark Twain - What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain - What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary
Mark Twain - When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain - When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
Mark Twain - When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain - Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain - Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain - Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain - Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain - Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.
Mark Twain - You can't depend on your eyes if your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) - Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) - I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) - The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) - Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Mark Victor Hansen - I never let my subject get in the way of what I want to talk about.
Mark Victor Hansen - I want to talk with people who care about things that matter that will make a life-changing difference. True or true? Yes or yes?
Mark Victor Hansen - I want to talk with people who care about things that matter that will make a life-changing difference. True or true? Yes or yes? I never let my subject get in the way of what I want to talk about. When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it. In imagination, there's no limitation. Don't think it, ink it.
Mark Victor Hansen - In imagination, there's no limitation.
Mark Victor Hansen - When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it.
Martial - To be able to look back upon one's past life with satisfaction is to live twice.
Martin Fraquhar Tupper - Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Martin H. Fischer - A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Martin L. Gross - We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. (A Call for Revolution, 1993)
Martin Luther - Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has.
Martin Luther - Who loves not women, wine and song, Remains a fool his whole life long.
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) - In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr. - "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
Martin Zellar, - Well boys will be boys and they'll always be jerks, and from what she's seen this is how things work. They come in sweet and they go out cold, and you know this scene must be growing old.
Marty Allen - A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
Marvin J. Ashton - We are poor in character when we think getting by is a substitute for doing our best.
Mary Kay Ash - A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.
Mary McCarthy - The labor of keeping house is labor in its most naked state, for labor is toil that never finishes, toil that has to be begun again the moment it is completed, toil that is destroyed and consumed by the life process.
Mary Shafer - Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world. (NASA Ames-Dryden)
Marya Mannes - All really great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.
Matsuo Basho - Do not attempt to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.
Matt Groening (1954-) - Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Matthew Haughey - I feel like Keith Richards looks. ugh.
Matthew W Orton - Every worldly honor, pleasure, luxury or achievement, no matter how impossible, are but cheap counterfeits and pale in comparison to those available in the Kingdom of God, which anyone can achieve.
Maureen Dowd - The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Maurice Edelman - I dislike censorship. Like an appendix it is useless when inert and dangerous when active.
Max Frisch - Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
Max Headroom - Ah -- love -- the walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the fights over just about everything else....
Max Kauffmann - The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.
Mel Brooks - "I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if youre alive, you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, you've got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if youre quiet, youre not living. Youve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively."
Mel Brooks - "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks - Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.
Mel Brooks - Anybody can direct. There are only 11 good writers.
Mel Brooks - As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
Mel Brooks - Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
Mel Brooks - Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.
Mel Brooks - Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
Mel Brooks - He who hesitates is poor.
Mel Brooks - Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks - I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.
Mel Brooks - I only direct in self-defense.
Mel Brooks - If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks - If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Mel Brooks - If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
Mel Brooks - If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
Mel Brooks - Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.
Mel Brooks - Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
Mel Brooks - Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
Mel Brooks - These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet.
Mel Brooks - Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks - We rest our case on the production numbers.
Mel Brooks - We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.
Mel Brooks - You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.
Melanie Burnell - What doesn't kill you will make you funnier.
Metastasio - Every noble acquisition is attended with its risks; he who fears to encounter the one must not expect to obtain the other.
Mexican Proverb - He who does not venture has no luck.
Michael Crichton (1942-2008) - The belief that there are other life forms in the universe is a matter of faith. There is not a single shred of evidence for any other life forms, and in forty years of searching, none has been discovered. There is absolutely no evidentiary reason to maintain this belief.
Michael Davis - I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.
Michael Gerber - The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication
Michael Hart, Executive Director, Project Gutenberg - Computers will be small enough to hold in your hand, and everyone will have them. By the end of my lifetime [2020] you will be able to hold every word of the Library of Congress in your hands, and they will have passed a law against it.
Michael Sky - The real challenge (in life) is to choose, hold, and operate through intelligent, uplifting, and fully empowering beliefs.
Michel de Montaigne - When I play with my cat, who knows whether I do not make her more sport than she makes me?
Michelangelo - Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I accomplish.
Michelangelo - The marble not yet carved can hold the form of every thought the greatest artist has.
Mignon McLaughlin - If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn't be so anxious.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - We cannot deny the facts of nature, but we should certainly try to improve on them.
Mike Binder - I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" - If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.
Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant - "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
Miss Piggy - Never eat more than you can lift.
Mistinguette - A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.
Mistinguette - A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
Mitch Hedberg - I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Modern Maturity - Nostalgia buffs should be advised that Memory Lane, just like other roads these days, is full of potholes.
Mohandas Gandhi - A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
Mohandas Gandhi - A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.
Mohandas Gandhi - A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.
Mohandas Gandhi - A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.
Mohandas Gandhi - A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi - A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed, but while it holds good it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.
Mohandas Gandhi - A principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot practise perfection, we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice.
Mohandas Gandhi - A religion that takes no account of practical affairs and does not help to solve them is no religion.
Mohandas Gandhi - A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
Mohandas Gandhi - A vow is a purely religious act which cannot be taken in a fit of passion. It can be taken only with a mind purified and composed and with God as witness.
Mohandas Gandhi - A weak man is just by accident. A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
Mohandas Gandhi - Action expresses priorities.
Mohandas Gandhi - Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.
Mohandas Gandhi - All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.
Mohandas Gandhi - All the religions of the world, while they may differ in other respects, unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
Mohandas Gandhi - Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.
Mohandas Gandhi - Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
Mohandas Gandhi - An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
Mohandas Gandhi - An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mohandas Gandhi - An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
Mohandas Gandhi - An unjust law is itself a species of violence. Arrest for its breach is more so.
Mohandas Gandhi - Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.
Mohandas Gandhi - Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
Mohandas Gandhi - Are creeds such simple things like the clothes which a man can change at will and put on at will? Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages.
Mohandas Gandhi - As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world -- that is the myth of the atomic age -- as in being able to remake ourselves.
Mohandas Gandhi - Be the change that you want to see in the world.
Mohandas Gandhi - Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.
Mohandas Gandhi - But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
Mohandas Gandhi - Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil. Capital in some form or other will always be needed.
Mohandas Gandhi - Commonsense is the realised sense of proportion.
Mohandas Gandhi - Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession.
Mohandas Gandhi - Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.
Mohandas Gandhi - Culture of the mind must be subservient to the heart.
Mohandas Gandhi - Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
Mohandas Gandhi - Each one prays to God according to his own light.
Mohandas Gandhi - Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
Mohandas Gandhi - Every formula of every religion has in this age of reason, to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
Mohandas Gandhi - Everyone who wills can hear the inner voice. It is within everyone.
Mohandas Gandhi - Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.
Mohandas Gandhi - Faith... must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies.
Mohandas Gandhi - Fear has its use but cowardice has none.
Mohandas Gandhi - Fear of death makes us devoid both of valour and religion. For want of valour is want of religious faith.
Mohandas Gandhi - First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Mohandas Gandhi - For me every ruler is alien that defies public opinion.
Mohandas Gandhi - Freedom is never dear at any price. It is the breath of life. What would a man not pay for living ?
Mohandas Gandhi - Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.
Mohandas Gandhi - Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.
Mohandas Gandhi - Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal and not in reaching it.
Mohandas Gandhi - God is, even though the whole world deny him. Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained.
Mohandas Gandhi - God sometimes does try to the uttermost those whom he wishes to bless.
Mohandas Gandhi - God, as Truth, has been for me a treasure beyond price. May He be so to every one of us.
Mohandas Gandhi - Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mohandas Gandhi - Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
Mohandas Gandhi - Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
Mohandas Gandhi - I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill.
Mohandas Gandhi - I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
Mohandas Gandhi - I believe in the fundamental truth of all great religions of the world.
Mohandas Gandhi - I believe that a man is the strongest soldier for daring to die unarmed.
Mohandas Gandhi - I claim that human mind or human society is not divided into watertight compartments called social, political and religious. All act and react upon one another.
Mohandas Gandhi - I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
Mohandas Gandhi - I do all the evil I can before I learn to shun it? Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it? If not, we should be sincere enough to admit that we love evil too well to give it up.
Mohandas Gandhi - I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.
Mohandas Gandhi - I have also seen children successfully surmounting the effects of an evil inheritance. That is due to purity being an inherent attribute of the soul.
Mohandas Gandhi - I have nothing new to teach the world. Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills. All I have done is to try experiments in both on as vast a scale as I could.
Mohandas Gandhi - I have worshipped woman as the living embodiment of the spirit of service and sacrifice.
Mohandas Gandhi - I know, to banish anger altogether from one's breast is a difficult task. It cannot be achieved through pure personal effort. It can be done only by God's grace.
Mohandas Gandhi - I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mohandas Gandhi - I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
Mohandas Gandhi - I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
Mohandas Gandhi - I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal to reason and is in conflict with morality.
Mohandas Gandhi - I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.
Mohandas Gandhi - I will far rather see the race of man extinct than that we should become less than beasts by making the noblest of God's creation, woman, the object of our lust.
Mohandas Gandhi - I would heartily welcome the union of East and West provided it is not based on brute force.
Mohandas Gandhi - If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
Mohandas Gandhi - If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
Mohandas Gandhi - If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.
Mohandas Gandhi - If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.
Mohandas Gandhi - Imitation is the sincerest flattery.
Mohandas Gandhi - In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
Mohandas Gandhi - In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.
Mohandas Gandhi - In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mohandas Gandhi - Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth.
Mohandas Gandhi - Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty; it is its own reward. Everything else is in God's hands.
Mohandas Gandhi - Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.
Mohandas Gandhi - Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
Mohandas Gandhi - Intolerance is itself a form of violence and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.
Mohandas Gandhi - Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it? If not, we should be sincere enough to admit that we love evil too well to give it up.
Mohandas Gandhi - It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is any day better to stand erect with a broken and bandaged head then to crawl on one's belly, in order to be able to save one's head.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is my own firm belief that the strength of the soul grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is the quality of our work which will please God and not the quantity.
Mohandas Gandhi - It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.
Mohandas Gandhi - Just as a man would not cherish living in a body other than his own, so do nations not like to live under other nations, however noble and great the latter may be.
Mohandas Gandhi - Justice that love gives is a surrender, justice that law gives is a punishment.
Mohandas Gandhi - Let everyone try and find that as a result of daily prayer he adds something new to his life, something with which nothing can be compared.
Mohandas Gandhi - Let us all be brave enough to die the death of a martyr, but let no one lust for martyrdom.
Mohandas Gandhi - Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man can never be a woman's equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plan living and high thinking the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man lives freely only by his readiness to die, if need be, at the hands of his brother, never by killing him.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
Mohandas Gandhi - Man's nature is not essentially evil. Brute nature has been know to yield to the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature.
Mohandas Gandhi - Measures must always in a progressive society be held superior to men, who are after all imperfect instruments, working for their fulfilment.
Mohandas Gandhi - Moral authority is never retained by any attempt to hold on to it. It comes without seeking and is retained without effort.
Mohandas Gandhi - Morality is contraband in war.
Mohandas Gandhi - Morality is the basis of things and truth is the substance of all morality.
Mohandas Gandhi - Morality which depends upon the helplessness of a man or woman has not much to recommend it. Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
Mohandas Gandhi - My life is my message.
Mohandas Gandhi - My religion is based on truth and non-violence. Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realising Him.
Mohandas Gandhi - Nearly everything you do is of no importance, but it is important that you do it.
Mohandas Gandhi - No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive.
Mohandas Gandhi - Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence is the article of faith.
Mohandas Gandhi - Nonviolence is the first article of my faith. It is also the last article of my creed.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence requires a double faith, faith in God and also faith in man.
Mohandas Gandhi - Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
Mohandas Gandhi - One's own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one's Maker and no one else's.
Mohandas Gandhi - Only he can take great resolves who has indomitable faith in God and has fear of God.
Mohandas Gandhi - Peace is its own reward.
Mohandas Gandhi - Poverty is the worst form of violence.
Mohandas Gandhi - Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
Mohandas Gandhi - Prayer is a confession of one's own unworthiness and weakness.
Mohandas Gandhi - Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.
Mohandas Gandhi - Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mohandas Gandhi - Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.
Mohandas Gandhi - Providence has its appointed hour for everything. We cannot command results, we can only strive.
Mohandas Gandhi - Purity of personal life is the one indispensable condition for building up a sound education.
Mohandas Gandhi - Religion is a matter of the heart. No physical inconvenience can warrant abandonment of one's own religion.
Mohandas Gandhi - Religion is more than life. Remember that his own religion is the truest to every man even if it stands low in the scales of philosophical comparison.
Mohandas Gandhi - Rights that do not flow from duty well performed are not worth having.
Mohandas Gandhi - Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.
Mohandas Gandhi - Self-respect knows no considerations.
Mohandas Gandhi - Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy.
Mohandas Gandhi - Spiritual relationship is far more precious than physical. Physical relationship divorced from spiritual is body without soul.
Mohandas Gandhi - Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mohandas Gandhi - That service is the noblest which is rendered for its own sake.
Mohandas Gandhi - The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
Mohandas Gandhi - The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problem.
Mohandas Gandhi - The essence of all religions is one. Only their approaches are different.
Mohandas Gandhi - The good man is the friend of all living things.
Mohandas Gandhi - The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
Mohandas Gandhi - The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.
Mohandas Gandhi - The law of sacrifice is uniform throughout the world. To be effective it demands the sacrifice of the bravest and the most spotless.
Mohandas Gandhi - The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly. The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.
Mohandas Gandhi - The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted.
Mohandas Gandhi - The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.
Mohandas Gandhi - The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
Mohandas Gandhi - The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
Mohandas Gandhi - The spirit of democracy is not a mechanical thing to be adjusted by abolition of forms. It requires change of heart.
Mohandas Gandhi - The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mohandas Gandhi - There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is an orderliness in the universe, there is an unalterable law governing everything and every being that exists or lives. It is no blind law; for no blind law can govern the conduct of living beings.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is no principle worth the name if it is not wholly good.
Mohandas Gandhi - There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
Mohandas Gandhi - Those who know how to think need no teachers.
Mohandas Gandhi - Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.
Mohandas Gandhi - Though we may know Him by a thousand names, He is one and the same to us all.
Mohandas Gandhi - To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
Mohandas Gandhi - To deprive a man of his natural liberty and to deny to him the ordinary amenities of life is worse then starving the body; it is starvation of the soul, the dweller in the body.
Mohandas Gandhi - To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
Mohandas Gandhi - Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear.
Mohandas Gandhi - Truth never damages a cause that is just.
Mohandas Gandhi - Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained.
Mohandas Gandhi - Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
Mohandas Gandhi - Violent means will give violent freedom. That would be a menace to the world and to India herself.
Mohandas Gandhi - Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man. They die up to a point.
Mohandas Gandhi - We do not need to proselytise either by our speech or by our writing. We can only do so really with our lives. Let our lives be open books for all to study.
Mohandas Gandhi - We may have our private opinions but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?
Mohandas Gandhi - We may never be strong enough to be entirely nonviolent in thought, word and deed. But we must keep nonviolence as our goal and make strong progress towards it.
Mohandas Gandhi - We must become the change we want to see in the world.
Mohandas Gandhi - We should meet abuse by forbearance. Human nature is so constituted that if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.
Mohandas Gandhi - We win justice quickest by rendering justice to the other party.
Mohandas Gandhi - What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
Mohandas Gandhi - What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.
Mohandas Gandhi - What is true of the individual will be to-morrow true of the whole nation if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.
Mohandas Gandhi - Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it.
Mohandas Gandhi - When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator.
Mohandas Gandhi - When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible.
Mohandas Gandhi - Where love is, there God is also.
Mohandas Gandhi - Where there is love there is life.
Mohandas Gandhi - You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.
Mohandas Gandhi - You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.
Mohandas Gandhi - You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mohandas Gandhi - You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Moliere - The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself.
Monica Piper - A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
Montesqueieu - I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage.
Moroni 8:26 - And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.
Mort Sahl - I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Moses Hadas - I have read your book and much like it.
Moses Hadas (1900-1966) - Thank you for sending me a copy of your book -- I'll waste no time reading it.
Moses Hadas (1900-1966) in a review - This book fills a much-needed gap.
Moss Hart - Can success change the human mechanism so completely between one dawn and another? Can it make one feel taller, more alive, handsomer, uncommonly gifted and indomitably secure with the certainty that this is the way life will always be? It can and it does!
Mother Theresa - Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
Motto of the King's Guard in ancient Greece - All people have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory.
Mr. Jones - A person is smart. People are dumb. (Tommy Lee Jones' character in Men in Black, 1997)
Muhammad Ali - It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. 1977 quoted in New York Times
Muhammad Ali - The man who has no imagination has no wings.
N. Meyrowitz - Please try to limit the amount of `this room doesn't have any bazingas' until you are told that those rooms are `punched out.' Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.
Nancy Gribble - The truth is like sunlight. People used to think it's good for you.
Napolean Hill - Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.
Napolean Hill - What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Ability is of little account without opportunity.
Napoleon Bonaparte - America is a fortunate country. She grows by the follies of our European nations.
Napoleon Bonaparte - An army marches on its stomach.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Great men are meteors that burn so that the earth may be lighted.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Great men grow tired of contentedness.
Napoleon Bonaparte - History is a set of lies agreed upon.
Napoleon Bonaparte - If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannonshots.
Napoleon Bonaparte - If you wish to be a sucess in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Imagination rules the world.
Napoleon Bonaparte - In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
Napoleon Bonaparte - It requires more courage to suffer than to die.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Riches do not consist in the possession of treasures, but in the use made of them.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Soldiers usually win the battles and generals get the credit for them.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
Napoleon Bonaparte - The heart of a statesman must be in his head.
Napoleon Bonaparte - The only one who is wiser than anyone is everyone.
Napoleon Bonaparte - The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.
Napoleon Bonaparte - There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit.
Napoleon Bonaparte - There are two levers for moving men: interest and fear.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Think of it, soldiers; from the summit of these pyramids, forty centuries look down upon you.
Napoleon Bonaparte - Victory belongs to the most persevering.
Napoleon Bonaparte - We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) - Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte, 1812 - There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Nathaniel Borenstein - The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Nathaniel Howe - The way to be nothing is to do nothing.
Neal Maxwell - All crosses are easier to carry when we keep moving.
Neal Maxwell - C. S. Lewis pointed out that some people are angry with God for His not existing, and others for His existing but for failing to do as mortals would have Him do. Instead of such childishness, we are urged to know God and to learn of His attributes.
Neal Maxwell - C. S. Lewis put it well when he gave us the analogy of remodeling the human soul and a living house: "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.
Neal Maxwell - Celestial criteria measures service, not status.
Neal Maxwell - Do not let the future be held hostage by the past.
Neal Maxwell - Don't fear, just live right.
Neal Maxwell - Each day I see all about me the fruits of commandment-keeping.
Neal Maxwell - How could there be refining fires without our enduring some heat?
Neal Maxwell - It is not the years but the changes that make us grow.
Neal Maxwell - It is our job to lift others up, not to size them up.
Neal Maxwell - Letting off steam always produces more heat than light.
Neal Maxwell - Of all the errors one could make, God's gospel plan is the wrong thing to be wrong about.
Neal Maxwell - Our God does not indulge us, but He is merciful toward our weaknesses as He strives to tutor us. . . .
Neal Maxwell - Sometimes we are so busy being the hammer or the anvil, that we forget who really needs the shaping.
Neal Maxwell - There is no democracy of facts.
Neal Maxwell - We are in bondage to that which overcomes us
Neal Maxwell - When we rejoice in great music and art, it is but the flexing of instincts learned in the previous life.
Neils Bohr - Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
Nelson DeMille - We're all pilgrims on the same journey-but some pilgrims have better road maps.
Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister - "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince" - It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Nicole Hoallander - Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.
Niels Bohr - Never express yourself more clearly than you think.
Niels Bohr (1885-1962) - The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Niels Bohr (1885-1962) - We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Nikita Khrushchev - We had no use for the policy of the Gospels, 'if someone slaps you, just turn the other cheek.' We had shown that anyone who slapped us on our cheek would get his head kicked off.
Noam Chomsky, 1992 - If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
Noel Coward - I'm not a heavy drinker. I sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941) - Why don't you write books people can read?
Norman Cousins - "Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of his conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life."
Norman Vincent Peale - There is real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.
O.W. Holmes - Man has his will -- but woman has her way.
Og Mandino - The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.
Og Mandino - Work as though you would live forever, and live as though you would die today.
Ogden Nash - I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
Ogden Nash (1902-1971) - Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Old Folk Saying - A fault once denied is twice committed.
Old Folk Saying - A good man says no slowly; a wise man says no at once.
Oliver Herford - A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's; she changes it more often.
Oliver Herford - Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Oliver Wendell Holmes - I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes - Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes - The mode by which the inevitable comes to pass is effort.
Oliver Wendell Holmes - The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Oliver Wendell Holmes - The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, 1928 - If there is any principle of the Constitution that more imperatively calls for attachment than any other it is the principle of free thought-not free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought that we hate.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Physician and Writer - You can buy people's time; you can buy their physical presence at a given place; you can even buy a measured number of their skilled muscular motions per hour. But you cannot buy enthusiasm ... you cannot buy loyalty ... you cannot buy the devotion of hearts, minds, or souls. You must earn these." -- Clarence Francis -- "Man's mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions"
Olivier - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Olympic gold medalist Carmen Boyle - Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die. 1996
On the Menu of a Polish Hotel - "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup" with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
One Slashdot reader comments on Apple's switch to Intel - I felt something, a disturbance in the network, as if a million Mac zealots cried out in horror and were suddenly silenced.
Oprah Winfrey - All these years I've been feeling like I was growing into myself. Finally, I feel grown.
Oprah Winfrey - As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you -- the first time around.
Oprah Winfrey - Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up.
Oprah Winfrey - Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it's right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.
Oprah Winfrey - Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Oprah Winfrey - Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.
Oprah Winfrey - Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
Oprah Winfrey - Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.
Oprah Winfrey - Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.
Oprah Winfrey - Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
Oprah Winfrey - Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
Oprah Winfrey - Every time you state what you want or believe, you're the first to hear it. It's a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don't put a ceiling on yourself.
Oprah Winfrey - Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner's manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.
Oprah Winfrey - Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way.
Oprah Winfrey - I believe that [everyone] is the keeper of a dream -- and by tuning into one another's secret hopes, we can become better friends, better partners, better parents, and better lovers.
Oprah Winfrey - I believe that one of life's greatest risks is never daring to risk.
Oprah Winfrey - I believe that uncertainty is really my spirit's way of whispering, "I'm in flux. I can't decide for you. Something is off-balance here."
Oprah Winfrey - I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.
Oprah Winfrey - I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace -- a connection to what matters.
Oprah Winfrey - I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.
Oprah Winfrey - I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
Oprah Winfrey - I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself.
Oprah Winfrey - I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it.
Oprah Winfrey - If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race.
Oprah Winfrey - If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.
Oprah Winfrey - In every aspect of our lives, we are always asking ourselves, How am I of value? What is my worth? Yet I believe that worthiness is our birthright.
Oprah Winfrey - It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn -- which is what life is all about.
Oprah Winfrey - I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint -- and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.
Oprah Winfrey - I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.
Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.) - I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back) - Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.
Yogi Berra - Half this game is ninety percent mental.
Yogi Berra - No one goes to that restaurant anymore -- it's too crowded.
Yogi Berra - You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Desai - Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it any other way.
Zig Ziglar - A goal properly set is halfway reached.
Zig Ziglar - Every obnoxious act is a cry for help.
Zig Ziglar - Happiness is not pleasure, it is victory.
Zig Ziglar - I believe that persistent effort, supported by a character-based foundation, will enable you to get more of the things money will buy and all of the things money won't buy.
Zig Ziglar - It's not what you've got, it's what you use that makes a difference.
Zig Ziglar - Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
Zig Ziglar - Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage
Zig Ziglar - Some of us learn from other people's mistakes and the rest of us have to be other people.
Zig Ziglar - The THINGS that COUNT most IN LIFE ARE the THINGS that CAN'T BE COUNTED.
Zig Ziglar - The way you see people is the way you treat them.
Zig Ziglar - What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
Zig Ziglar - When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.
Zig Ziglar - Winning is not everything, but the effort to win is.
Zig Ziglar - You don't pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.
Zig Ziglar - You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.
Ziggy - You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
Zora Neale Hurston - Love, I find, is like singing. Everyone can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much.
Zsa Zsa Gabor - A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zwanzig, Carl - Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
Zwanzig, Carl - Every man without passion has within him no principle of action, nor motive of act.
Oprah Winfrey - Let your light shine. Shine within you so that it can shine on someone else. Let your light shine.
Oprah Winfrey - Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of life's blessings.
Oprah Winfrey - My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Oprah Winfrey - Partake of some of life's sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself.
Oprah Winfrey - Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.
Oprah Winfrey - The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.
Oprah Winfrey - The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.
Oprah Winfrey - The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance -- and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey - The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who'll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.
Oprah Winfrey - Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn't changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes.
Oprah Winfrey - Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity.
Oprah Winfrey - Use what you have to run toward your best -- that's how I now live my life.
Oprah Winfrey - What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.
Oprah Winfrey - What we're all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.
Oprah Winfrey - Whatever you fear most has no power -- it is your fear that has the power.
Oprah Winfrey - With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.
Oprah Winfrey - You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.
Oprah Winfrey - You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.
Oprah Winfrey - You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.
Oprah Winfrey (1954-) - We are each responsible for our own life -- no other person is or even can be.
Orlando A. Battista - An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
ORSON WELLES (1915-1985, writer/producer) - In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
Oscar Levant - I love you from the tip of your nose to the tip of your toes. And all that lovely stuff in the middle too."
Oscar Wilde - "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde - "Who, being loved, is poor?"
Oscar Wilde - A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
Oscar Wilde - A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
Oscar Wilde - A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde - A woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
Oscar Wilde - Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde - America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
Oscar Wilde - America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde - Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde - Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
Oscar Wilde - At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets.
Oscar Wilde - Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier then others.
Oscar Wilde - Biography lends to death a new terror.
Oscar Wilde - But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all.
Oscar Wilde - Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
Oscar Wilde - Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
Oscar Wilde - Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Oscar Wilde - Do not speak ill of society, Algie. Only people who can't get in do that.
Oscar Wilde - Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.
Oscar Wilde - Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
Oscar Wilde - Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde - Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde - Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
Oscar Wilde - Genius is born--not paid.
Oscar Wilde - I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
Oscar Wilde - I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
Oscar Wilde - I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.
Oscar Wilde - I can resist anything but temptation.
Oscar Wilde - I can resist everything but temptation.
Oscar Wilde - I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde - I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
Oscar Wilde - I don't play accurately-any one can play accurately- but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
Oscar Wilde - I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
Oscar Wilde - I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
Oscar Wilde - I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Oscar Wilde - I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.
Oscar Wilde - If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Oscar Wilde - Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
Oscar Wilde - It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Oscar Wilde - It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Oscar Wilde - It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal.
Oscar Wilde - It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.
Oscar Wilde - Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Oscar Wilde - Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Oscar Wilde - Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.
Oscar Wilde - Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.
Oscar Wilde - Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
Oscar Wilde - Music makes one feel so romantic -- at least it always gets on one's nerves -- which is the same thing nowadays.
Oscar Wilde - My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
Oscar Wilde - Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.
Oscar Wilde - One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
Oscar Wilde - One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
Oscar Wilde - One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
Oscar Wilde - One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.
Oscar Wilde - One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
Oscar Wilde - One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.
Oscar Wilde - Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
Oscar Wilde - Only the shallow know themselves.
Oscar Wilde - Oscar Wilde -- To give an accurate description of what has never occurred is not merely the proper occupation of the historian, but the inalienable privilege of any man of parts and culture.
Oscar Wilde - Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
Oscar Wilde - Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
Oscar Wilde - Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement.
Oscar Wilde - Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.
Oscar Wilde - Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde - Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
Oscar Wilde - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde - Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons.
Oscar Wilde - The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional.
Oscar Wilde - The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly -- that is what each of us is here for.
Oscar Wilde - The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. (The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891)
Oscar Wilde - The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
Oscar Wilde - The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
Oscar Wilde - The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
Oscar Wilde - The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.
Oscar Wilde - The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
Oscar Wilde - The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Oscar Wilde - The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
Oscar Wilde - The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Oscar Wilde - The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Oscar Wilde - There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.
Oscar Wilde - There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
Oscar Wilde - There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
Oscar Wilde - Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
Oscar Wilde - To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
Oscar Wilde - To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Oscar Wilde - To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. (The Importance of Being Earnest)
Oscar Wilde - Vile deeds like poison weeds bloom well in prison air, it is only what is good in man, that wastes and withers there.
Oscar Wilde - We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde - We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
Oscar Wilde - We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
Oscar Wilde - We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow.
Oscar Wilde - What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde - When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
Oscar Wilde - Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
Oscar Wilde - Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde - Why was I born with such contemporaries?
Oscar Wilde - Wisdom comes with winters.
Oscar Wilde - Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects.
Oscar Wilde - Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - I am not young enough to know everything.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) - To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Oscar Wilde, in conversation. - A gentleman never insults anyone unintentionally.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop - "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
P. J. O'Rourke - Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
P. J. O'Rourke - Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime. (The Bachelor Home Companion, 1987)
P. J. O'Rourke - Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
P. J. O'Rourke - Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'Rourke - Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'Rourke - Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'Rourke - There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. W. Bridgman - There is no adequate defense, except stupidity, against the impact of a new idea.
P.G. Wodehouse - It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all.
P.J. O'Rourke - There are a number of mechanical devices which aid sexual arousal, particularly in woman. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Pablo Picasso - Accidents, try to change them--it's impossible. The accidental reveals man.
Pablo Picasso - Art is the lie that makes us realize the truth.
Pablo Picasso - Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso - Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after one grows up.
Pablo Picasso - Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don't they try to understand the singing of birds? People love the night, a flower, everything that surrounds them without trying to understand them. But painting--that they must understand.
Pablo Picasso - Everything you can imagine is real.
Pablo Picasso - I do not seek, I find.
Pablo Picasso - I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
Pablo Picasso - I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
Pablo Picasso - It takes a long while to grow young.
Pablo Picasso - Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
Pablo Picasso - Painting isn't an aesthetic operation, it's a form of magic designed as a mediator between this strange hostile world and us, a way of seizing power by giving form to our terrors as well as our desires.
Pablo Picasso - The genius of Einstein led to Hiroshima.
Pablo Picasso - The people who make art their business are mostly imposters.
Pablo Picasso - When I was a child, my mother said to me, "If you become a soldier you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope." Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
Pablo Picasso - Youth has no age.
Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) - Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
Pamela Vaull Starr - Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
Pancho Villa (1877-1923) - Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. (last words)
Parish Magazine - "We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
Parker Dorothy - Congratulations. We all knew you had it in you. (telegram to friend who'd just given birth)
Patrick Murray - Armpits live lives of quiet perspiration.
Paul Dirac (1902-1984) - In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Paul Erdos - A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Paul Gauguin - Life being waht it is, one dreams of revenge.
Paul George, Supervisory Special Agent, Michigan Bureau, FBI - If there is going to be a Big Brother in the United States, it is going to be us -- the FBI.
Paul Harvey - In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
Paul Newman - Acting isn't really a creative profession. It's an interpretative one.
Paul Newman - Every time I get a script it's a matter of trying to know what I could do with it. I see colors, imagery. It has to have a smell. It's like falling in love. You can't give a reason why.
Paul Newman - I was always a character actor. I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood.
Paul Newman - If you don't have enemies, you don't have character.
Paul Newman - If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Paul Newman - Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.
Paul Newman - Newman's first law: It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down.
Paul Newman - Newman's second law: Just when things look darkest, they go black.
Paul Newman - People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked.
Paul Newman - Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser.
Anon - To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
Paul Newman - So you wound up with Apollo. If he's sometimes hard to swallow. Use this.
Paul Newman - You can't be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning: 'Holy Christ, whaddya know -- I'm still around!' It's absolutely amazing that I survived all the booze and smoking and the cars and the career.
Paul Newman - You only grow when you are alone.
Paul Valery - A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Paul Zane Pilzer - Prosperity belongs to those who learn new things the fastest.
Paula Poundstone - I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
Pearl S. Buck - One faces the future with one's past.
Peggy Joyce - Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them keeps paying for it.
Peggy Lee - Some of us just go along . . . until that marvelous day people stop intimidating us -- or should I say we refuse to let them intimidate us?
Pepsi Comes Alive = - "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave." (as originally translated into Chinese)
Perelman - Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Pete Granger - Paranoia will get you through times of no enemies better than enemies will get you through times of no paranoia.
Pete Incaviglia, 1990 - People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
Peter De Vries - A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
Peter De Vries - Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.
Peter De Vries - Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff -- it is a palliative rather than a remedy.
Peter De Vries - Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.
Peter De Vries - Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
Peter De Vries - I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
Peter De Vries - I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.
Peter De Vries - I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
Peter De Vries - I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.
Peter De Vries - It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
Peter De Vries - Let us hope, that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.
Peter De Vries - Life is a zoo in a jungle.
Peter De Vries - Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
Peter De Vries - My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Peter De Vries - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Peter De Vries - Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.
Peter De Vries - The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds -- they mature slowly.
Peter De Vries - The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Peter De Vries - The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.
Peter De Vries - The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
Peter De Vries - The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
Peter De Vries - The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.
Peter De Vries - The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.
Peter De Vries - The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
Peter De Vries - There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
Peter De Vries - There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.
Peter De Vries - They made love as if they were an endangered species.
Peter De Vries - We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.
Peter De Vries - We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other.
Peter De Vries - When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.
Peter De Vries - Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
Peter De Vries - Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.
Peter Drucker (1909-2005) - There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
Peter Holmes - The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do.
Peter McWilliams - Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.
Peter McWilliams - Learn to ask for what you want....The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for-which is precisely where you were before you asked.
Peter McWilliams - The road to positivity is strewn with the abandoned vehicles of the faint-hearted.
Peter McWilliams - We can consciously end our life almost anytime we choose. This ability is an endowment-like laughing and blushing-given to no other animal....In any given moment, by not exercising the option of suicide, we are choosing to live.
Peter Ustinov - A diplomat these days is nothing but a head-waiter who's allowed to sit down occasionally.
Peter Ustinov - At the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords we're all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it.
Peter Ustinov - Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them.
Peter Ustinov - By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door.
Peter Ustinov - Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
Peter Ustinov - Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov - Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
Peter Ustinov - Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy.
Peter Ustinov - Courage is often lack of insight, whereas cowardice in many cases is based on good information.
Peter Ustinov - Critics search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.
Peter Ustinov - Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
Peter Ustinov - I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.
Peter Ustinov - I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
Peter Ustinov - I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Peter Ustinov - I have three daughters and I find as a result I played King Lear almost without rehearsal.
Peter Ustinov - I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world.
Peter Ustinov - If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue.
Peter Ustinov - If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
Peter Ustinov - I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer.
Peter Ustinov - In America, through pressure of

Eclectic Randomness

Sunday, December 27, 2009

So many blogs.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Bluetooth Headset

Sunday, November 1, 2009

so many stories

Thursday, October 29, 2009

plagiarism

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

every quote there ever was.